How Writing Fanfiction Saved Me
by mdelpin
Summary: Write what you know. Say what you feel. Both advices stupid and much easier said than done when the words picked and prodded at barely healed up scabs until they're bleeding and he's torn open again. Submitting half-assed prewritten children stories was so much easier than dealing with his own brokenness. WARNING: There is mention of child on child sexual abuse.
1. Fanfiction dot net

Disclaimer: All Fairy Tail Character Belong To Hiro Mashima

Chapter 1:

I sat in front of the computer staring at the screen in front of me. The top of the screen read Fanfiction | Unleash Your Imagination followed by a Sign Up dialogue giving me multiple login options I can use to create my account.

I looked at it some more, asking myself for the hundredth time if I was really going to do this. My thoughts went back to the situation that had led me to consider signing up to this site in the first place.

My brother Zeref, being the nosy older brother that he was he took it upon himself to make some phone calls to the high school that I attended, Fairy Tail High. He made an appointment to speak to the principal Makarov Dreyar, as well as the school counselor Gildarts Clive about his dearest younger brother Natsu Dragneel. That's me in case you haven't figured it out yet.

Why you might ask yourself, would an older brother do this instead of leaving it up to the responsible parental figure in the family? Well, that would be because there is no longer one. Zeref is it, older brother and father all rolled up into one gloomy, sardonic, insufferable bastard. At least he cares about us I guess, and is old enough to be able to keep us together.

Our father, Igneel Dragneel, was murdered by his long suffering rival, Acnologia. One day he was there, the next the police came to our house to alert all three of his children that he would never be returning to our home. Did I mention I also have a younger sister? Her name is Wendy and she is twelve years old. She might be the only thing Zeref and I agree on.

The policeman that informed us of the matter must have lost his heart years ago because he informed us of our father's murder like he was reciting what the soup of the day was at our favorite restaurant. I was so angry I punched him, as Zeref and Wendy looked on horrified. Thankfully, the man did not press charges for my having assaulted a police officer. After he left, Zeref whispered that he had never been more proud of me. I don't think I was meant to hear it but hell, at least I can say he was proud of me once.

Anyway, I digress. Zeref attended said meeting and next thing I know I was getting pulled out of my English class by the loudspeaker requesting my presence in the principal's office. I grabbed my belongings, ignoring the curious faces of the other students including the group that I used to call friends, but that's a story for another chapter. I made my way to the principal's office, hands sweaty because I figured nothing good could come of this heart to heart. I mean I knew Zeref was coming, he had told me. I arrived and took a deep breath before I opened the door. The school secretary Laki gave me a reassuring smile and I nodded. I opened the door to resounding laughter.

I don't know what I was expecting but clearly I had forgotten how good Zeref was at acting normal and getting people to like him, something I myself lacked. Zeref sat at a chair looking relaxed but I could seem him quickly analyzing my mood as I made my way inside. He'd been doing that a lot lately. I suppose I never mentioned why he felt the need to make this appointment did I?

Zeref and Wendy were worried about me. According to them ever since Igneel was murdered I had changed. I would like to point out at this time that that is not at all true. I have not changed at all, I have just lost the will to pretend around people. I suppose you could say I had let my true inner demon out. Where before I would spend a lot of energy trying to control my fiery temper, and act in ways that would make people like me I was now done. Let's face, it's not worth it, because one day you could be making your kids favorite meal only to be murdered the next. What was the fucking point of following all these rules and social conventions when life was so very fleeting?

I suppose more well adjusted kids would make bucket lists that they would try to complete before life was taken away from them. They would take up a cause to make themselves feel important and like they'd had some impact on the world. They'd go find the person they love and confess, desperately trying to carve some meaning from a senseless tragedy. Not me. I had firmly just stopped caring about anything. Academics, friends, family, life. Done.

Zeref thought this was an unhealthy method of coping and as we were nearing the end of the school year and my GPA had gone from a 4.0 to barely a 1.5, he felt that something needed to be done before I failed my junior year of high school. He had suggested therapy but that talk had not gone over very well. I suppose if I wasn't being such a selfish self-pitying bastard at the moment I would feel bad for the guy but honestly I just wanted him to get the hell out of my business.

To my dismay I saw Wendy sitting in the chair next to him. Zeref had taken her out of school to attend this meeting, tired of our skirmishes he had finally brought out the big guns. That was my first hint that this was not a simple talking to by my principal and counselor. This was a full fledged intervention. Fuck! I wanted to escape I even started moving back, my hand desperately fumbling for the door handle but I grabbed a handful of Gildarts Clive instead. He pushed me into a chair and remained standing in front of the only exit.

Wendy smiled at me gently, in the way that only she can manage, as she tried to reassure me. I imagine she must see the deer in headlights look that must be on my face. I don't care, I don't care, I kept repeating to myself but of course I knew better. There is one thing I still care about and that is Wendy Dragneel. I would do anything for her. Even submit myself to a half assed intervention.

I looked from one person to the next as they all seemed to be trying to figure out the best way to start this circus. Makarov, probably more used to these things than anyone else in the room cleared his throat and grabbed a piece of paper from a folder that lay on his desk and handed it to me.

"Natsu, these are your grades since freshman year." he began, "Up until this year you had a perfect 4.0 GPA. Right now you are barely passing and you are failing English. Sadly, if we can't remedy this situation you are going to have to repeat your junior year."

I looked away, I knew I had been blowing off school but I had not realized that things had gotten this bad. Maybe repeating wouldn't be so bad. New people, new beginnings.

"Even more concerning than your grades dropping is your attitude. You are rude to teachers and students, you're constantly in here or in the infirmary due to your incessant fighting with Gray Fullbuster. You skip school, and when you are here your teachers report that you mostly sleep through their lectures. I am ashamed to say that until I met with all your teachers I had not realized things had gotten so bad with you. I understand you are going through a difficult time since your father's death but-."

"Don't bring him into this!" I yelled angrily.

"Natsu, calm down!" Zeref said, "We're not the enemy here."

"You're right son, this is not about him." Gildarts spoke for the first time, "It's about you, and your inability to deal with what happened to him in a productive manner. Let me see your arms."

I instinctively held my arms behind my back and glared at him defiantly. Daring him to force me.

"Why do you want to look at his arms?" Wendy asked in confusion.

"Well, little miss sometimes in cases like this people who are going through a lot of pain become numb to it." Gildarts explained to the young girl, "They can't feel anything and so they can resort to different ways of feeling the pain they need. They might begin to use sharp objects to cut themselves, I just want to make sure that he has not done that. We need to figure out what kind of help he needs."

Wendy's eyes began to water as she looked at her brother.

"Natsu?" Wendy looked at me, her eyes holding a sadness that was too old for her years.

"Show him your arms." she commanded firmly. Her eyes never left my face.

Before I knew what I was doing I took off my shirt and stood before them, my eyes never leaving hers. I needed to see it, needed to see her reaction to the mostly healing cuts on my arms. I wasn't disappointed, there was the pain I couldn't feel. Even as I felt like an asshole for causing her tears I was almost jealous of her ability to shed them.

Gildarts examined me and wrote some notes down. "I don't see any new ones. Do you have any marks anywhere else?"

I shook my head. "I didn't like it. I didn't like the blood."

Gildarts stared at me for a minute probably trying to figure out if I was telling the truth and then nodded to himself. "Alright you can put your shirt back on now."

I complied and sat back down.

"Your brother tells us that you refuse to get any type of therapy." Gildarts continued, "Care to tell us why?"

"Just don't see the point." I replied as I tried to keep my temper under control for once. I wanted out of this office and the only way to do that was to come off as reasonable.

"I could try to force it as a condition of you attending this school, but I don't think that would really help you. Therapy is something that you need to be an active participant of for it to work."

"I think it's clear that you need help." Makarov added, "I would like to see you get it. Your English teacher had an interesting idea that Gildarts and I have discussed with your family. Gildarts, if you please?"

"First of all you need to maintain a passing grade in all your other subjects, there is no way you can pass English at this point. You have not handed in a single assignment all year. However, Mr. Conbolt has suggested a summer project that will allow you to pass the course."

"He mentioned that you are an excellent writer. He believes that writing can be a great type of personal therapy, it's a way to explore ideas and feelings at your own pace. I happen to agree with him."

"You will create an account at a writing site, there are several out there. , Archiveofourown, wattpad…. There are some others, take your pick. Once you have a username you will give it to Mr. Conbolt and myself so we can follow and monitor your progress. You will submit all your work to this site. You can write about any topic you want, including fanfiction. We don't care what it is but you have to do it all summer. You must publish something at least once a week. At the end of the summer Mr. Conbolt will give you a grade. If you pass you can return as a Senior."

I stared at them. All I had to do to pass English was write about whatever I want all summer? Is this for real? I watched my siblings smile at me encouragingly and I immediately rebelled.

"This is stupid. I'm not doing it, fail me if you want."

"Natsu Dragneel, you will do this." Zeref yelled angrily, "I am tired of your bullshit, if you don't help yourself I will have no choice but to intern you somewhere over the summer to force you to get the help you need. Is that what you want?"

What? Interned, like a loony bin? My anger was rushing up, like the flames of an uncontrollable inferno until I saw her. She was still staring at my arms. My Wendy, looked at me with those big brown eyes. Her lips trembled and her voice shook as she uttered words that would break my heart if I was still in possession of it.

"Please Natsu-nii, if you go I'll be all alone."

She rushed over and hugged me tightly, her tears soaking my shirt. The sobs that wracked her body letting me know the leaving she was talking about was more final than a summer trip to the insane asylum.

'I would never leave you Wendy.' I thought, not wanting to give voice to the thoughts she was having.

All I could do was look down at her and at the quiet desperation that I glimpsed in Zeref's eyes before he hid it.

That's why I'm sitting here, a week before school lets out for summer vacation trying to think of a username for my account. I quickly thought of one that brought back memories from my childhood, when everything was happy and both my parents were alive.

I chose to log in through my Gmail account and when it asked me for my username I entered:

Flame-Brain.

A/N I seriously have no idea where this came from. I was taking a shower and mulling about how slightly addicted I have become to these sites and this popped into my head. I'm not even sure what it is at the moment but it intrigued me enough that I wrote this chapter in one sitting. I'm guessing that means I want to explore it. Heh, I should be working on so many other things but I am ever the great procrastinator with a short attention span. There might be some self-mocking elements in this piece *grin*

The fanfiction might be fairy tail based, although in his mind he made it up when he was a kid and it was sort of stories he told his friends for fun. He was sort of always a writer :-) and yes his friends will be the usual suspects.


	2. The First Master

Disclaimer: All Fairy Tail Characters Belong To Hiro Mashima

Chapter 2: The First Master

I stared at the blinking cursor at the top the empty Google Docs page . I was running out of time to publish my first assignment but I just couldn't think of anything to write. My mind was a complete blank. I had spent most of my time getting sucked into other people's work. There were stories on just about everything I could think of. There were only three days left before school let out and Mr. Conbolt had demanded that I publish something so he could test everything out before summer break.

I looked at the section called Legacy User Stats under Traffic Stats.

'You are on the favorites list of 2 members.'

When I clicked on the number 2 it showed the names of the two users as Ladies-Man, which I can only assume is Gildarts idea of a joke and Purple-Fire.

'Just write anything, it doesn't matter what' I screamed at myself.

Just to amuse myself I wrote:

It was a dark and stormy night.

I looked at it for awhile and then snorted. It didn't work for Snoopy so I suppose I should not be surprised when it didn't do much for me either. That phrase almost guarantees writer's block. I deleted the words and got up to get a snack.

"Still stuck?" Wendy asked me from the dining room. She was having a snack as well so I sat down to join her.

"Yeah, I just can't think of anything." I said with frustration, "I thought it would be easy to write about whatever I wanted but I don't seem to have anything to say."

Wendy had been thinking of this for a few days. She wasn't sure how her brother was going to react to her suggestion but she figured it was worth a shot.

"What about Fairy Tail?" Wendy suggested carefully.

"What about it?"

"Why don't you write some of those? I used to love those stories."

I looked at her, surprised that she even remembered.

"Those were just kid stories." I said evenly.

"Maybe, but you already wrote them years ago. At least it would get your first requirement done."

I stared at her and thought about her suggestion, she kind of had a point and I certainly had not been able to come up with anything better after days of trying.

When I was younger I'd had a group of friends that I was very close to. Gray, Erza and Lucy had been my best friends and we used to be together all the time.

One afternoon there had been a thunderstorm and we had all been stuck inside my house. We were bored and starting to get on each other's nerves when a four year old Wendy had run into my room in tears. The storm had caused the power to go out and she was terrified of thunder.

Gray had cuddled her in his arms and tried to tell her a story but he wasn't very good at it and Wendy was still upset. She looked at me hopefully and I sighed and gave in,

I had always been good at storytelling, had always had what my mother referred to as a vivid imagination. I made up a story for my sister but decided to include everyone else in the room as well.

I weaved together a world where we were all wizards living in the kingdom of Fiore. We belonged to a guild called Fairy Tail and went on missions to help people. I combined my two favorite things and made myself a Fire Dragon but they all complained that I couldn't be a dragon, so I became a Fire dragon slayer instead, with powerful spells of fire. Lucy, who always had her head in the clouds, became a celestial wizard. Gray, who had trouble making friends but was an amazing artist, at least in my eight year old opinion, became an ice wizard who could mold anything out of ice, while Erza who could terrify even adults with her glare became a mighty warrior. A knight wizard with the ability to change into multiple armors and weapons. Wendy was my sister so of course she also had to be a dragon slayer but since she was so light I made her a sky dragon slayer who's magic had to do with air and she was so kind, even at that age, that I had also made her a healer. I mean every party needs a healer. I added in our cats, Happy and Carla, who had passed away recently, and gave them wings since our mother had told us that the two were now angels.

They had spent the rest of the afternoon happily listening to my story as our characters went on multiple adventures. They had tried to add their own pieces to the story but only Lucy had really been any good at it so the others were content to just sit and listen.

From that day on, whenever we were stuck inside they would eventually ask me to tell them more stories about Fairy Tail right up until middle school when we all decided we were too old for such things. It was just as well, my mother had died by then and I no longer liked to make up stories about the Fairy Tail Guild. You see, I did not create the guild myself. No, that honor belonged to its first master, my mother Mavis Vermillion Dragneel. I had just borrowed it for Wendy's entertainment. I figured if it was created by our mother it belonged to her as well.

My mother always began her Fairy Tail stories the same way:

"In a land far, far away, lies the Kingdom of Fiore, a small peaceful nation of 17 million, and a place filled with magic! Found in every home, bought and sold in every marketplace, for most, magic is merely a tool, a mundane part of everyday life. For some, however, magic is an art, and they have devoted their lives to its practice. These are the mages. Banded together into magical guilds they apply their skills in search of fame and fortune. Many such guilds dot the landscape of Fiore. But there is a certain guild in a certain town that soars high above the rest, one from which countless legends have been born... a guild that will no doubt continue to create legends well into the future. Its name... is Fairy Tail."1

I remember the first time she told me about Fairy Tail. I was four years old and I was sick. I was stuck in bed, tired of watching television but too ill to play video games or read a book. My mother, no stranger to being sick herself felt sorry for me and asked me if I would like her to tell me a story. I quickly told her yes. My mother always told the best stories and having and older sibling and another due to arrive any day I greedily basked in the attention she was giving me while Zeref was in school. She climbed into bed with me and held me as close to her as her 8 month pregnant belly would allow. I inhaled her scent and instantly felt a little better. Over the course of three days, while I was stuck in bed she wove a tale of treasure hunters and magic and two girls named Mavis and Zera and how they all together created the Fairy Tail Guild, a place where everyone was treated as family and they went around helping people.

My mother was a beautiful woman. She had long blonde hair that went down all the way to her knees. Sometimes she would wear it in two high pigtails that would make her look very young. She had beautiful green eyes that twinkled with excitement when she talked. I have often been told, by people who knew her, that I have her eyes but I don't believe it. My eyes have always looked dull to me.

She was not very tall either but don't let that fool you, she could make anyone feel small if the situation called for it. She was a very intelligent woman with a thirst for knowledge that would have her reading any book she could get her hands on. I'm told she was a great chess player, her opponents called her the Fairy Tactician. To my knowledge she never lost a game. She was always 20 moves ahead of anyone who challenged her. Even so she was a gracious winner. Everyone who met my mother loved her for she was also very kind. Even though they don't look very much alike, Wendy reminds me of her sometimes and I'm sad to say that after my mother died it took me months to be able to look at Wendy without bursting into tears.

You might be curious to know how the Fairy Tail Guild came about. This is what she told me when I was a little older.

"I was orphaned at a very young age, and like Zeref I was very sickly. I was a hard case to adopt because even though I was young I required a lot of medical attention which is not exactly what people are looking for in a child. I saw countless friends get adopted and I became sad and lonely. I read every book in that orphanage by the time I was seven and I especially loved adventure and fantasy stories, especially those having to do with fairies, but I had no one to share them with. I was tired of being left behind so I created an imaginary friend and named her Zera. Actually, I gave Zeref his name because I wanted to bring her to life in some way. I felt like I owed her that for everything she gave me." my mother began.

"I was finally adopted by the Dreyar family when I was ten years old. They wanted a companion for their son Yuri and they were wealthy enough that they did not care about the cost for my medical needs but by the time I was ready to enter high school I became very sick and could not attend so my parents arranged for me to be tutored at the hospital. The name of the high school was Fairy Tail High. Yuri was a good brother and he would come to the hospital every day to see me. He would tell me lots of details about his friends so that I would not feel left out, even brought them to visit me a couple of times", she smiled as she remembered her brother who had passed away recently.

"One day, we started playing a game he liked to play called Game of Wits, I'll explain the rules when you're older. Suffice it to say that he lost as usual and he had to do whatever I wanted as a reward. I told him he had to take me out of the hospital. Since I couldn't actually leave we made up stories to keep my mind off of my illness, at least while he was there. Together we created the Fairy Tail Guild with Zera and some of his friends along for the ride, and he made me its First Master." she got a little weepy at the memory and all I could do was hug her. God, I loved her.

She had died less than a year after she had told me that. Before she died she had handed over the guild and all its secrets to me but I had left it all behind. With her gone it was too painful and I wanted no more part of it. As far as I know she never told Zeref or Wendy about it. It was our special thing. I wonder now if she knew I would need a way to keep her with me, she was always a very smart woman.

I looked down at my desk in surprise when I noticed a wet spot and looked around for its source. It had been so long since I had felt any emotion that I didn't even think that it could be coming from me. I sniffled and when I went to wipe my nose I felt them. The tears that I had not been able to shed since my father had been taken away from me had come at last while I was busy thinking about my mother and her short life. I wiped the tears away and began to type:

"In a land far, far away, lies the Kingdom of Fiore, a small peaceful nation of 17 million, and a place filled with magic! Found in every home, bought and sold in every marketplace, for most, magic is merely a tool, a mundane part of everyday life. For some, however, magic is an art, and they have devoted their lives to its practice. These are the mages. Banded together into magical guilds they apply their skills in search of fame and fortune. Many such guilds dot the landscape of Fiore. But there is a certain guild in a certain town that soars high above the rest, one from which countless legends have been born... a guild that will no doubt continue to create legends well into the future. Its name... is Fairy Tail."1

xxx

A/N I'm sorry, this was kind of sad to write but I hope you like it. Let me know what you think. The next chapter will have the actual story or chapter he wrote.

1 " /Quotes/FairyTail"


	3. Devil-Slayer

Disclaimer: All Fairy Tail Characters Belong to Hiro Mashima

Chapter 3: Devil-Slayer

"It was just a scuffle Silver." Mka Fullbuster pointed out, "There's no need to make such a big deal out of it."

"How can you continue to be so calm about this. Mika?' Silver Fullbuster yelled, "The situation is getting out of hand."

"What do you want me to do, Silver?" Mika asked tiredly. They have had this conversation too many times lately. She was tired of it.

"I want Gray to stay away from Natsu."

"You can't mean that!"

"I do." Silver tried to sound reasonable, "Look, I know that Mavis was your friend and you feel responsible for her kids but what about our son?"

"What about Gray?" Silver was treading on dangerous ground.

"What about his future Mika?" Silver argued, "Gray will be a Senior in the fall, He needs to get his grades up and apply to colleges. He doesn't need to be associating with someone that is only interested in beating him to a pulp. What college is going to want to take him with the amount of suspensions and detentions he's accrued this year?"

"Silver, Natsu and Gray have been friends since they were infants and after everything that boy has been through, Gray is the only lifeline he has left." Mika yelled, "You are not taking that away from him!"

Gray lay on his bed his as he stared at his ceiling. He put his earbuds in and raised the volume of the music that was playing on his phone. He continued to raise the volume until he could no longer hear his parents yelling at each other. He thought about the situation that had started the fight in the first place and allowed himself a small smile.

[An Hour Earlier]

He and Natsu had been sitting in the Principal's office holding ice packs to their throbbing eyes.. They were both making a point of not looking at each other. The situation was not new to them. Natsu had probably spent more time in this office this year than in some of his classrooms.

In all honesty, Gray was the one who initiated most of their fights. He couldn't stand to see someone as happy and open as Natsu used to be look so damn dead. He kept trying to make him feel something, trying to get him back to the way he used to be but it was clearly not working and now he was worried that his father was going to demand that he stay away from Natsu.

Gray winced as he heard his father yelling at his principal, Makarov Dreyar. His mother was trying to calm him down but the words expulsion and restraining order were being thrown about. Zeref was nowhere to be seen and Gray could only imagine that Makarov had decided to handle the matter himself this time. He was Natsu's grandfather after all. He tried to get a look at Natsu's face to gauge his reaction to the screaming that was going on but there wasn't any. Natsu sat there like whatever was being talked about in that office had nothing to do with him.

The door of the office finally opened and Mika and Silver came out still arguing. Silver stormed out,

"Let's go, Gray." Silver said angrily then he looked at Natsu, "And you, stay away from my son."

Gray's heart plunged to his stomach. He knew his father was reaching his limit and he was worried about what that could mean. Gray knew he should follow his father, not doing so would just fuel his anger further, but he couldn't seem to move. He stayed where he was and watched as his mother approached the boy who once used to be his closest friend.

"Hi, Natsu honey." she said kindly, "How are you doing?"

Natsu looked up at her but didn't answer. Gray knew it was hard for him to see his mother. She still reminded him of Mavis.

"You know, I've missed you coming around to see me." she said gently.

His mother and Mavis had been best friends. Gray knew that looking at his mother brought back a lot of memories for Natsu so he tried to evade her as much as possible. Every once in a while, however, he would miss Mavis so much that he would show up at their house, sometimes alone but sometimes with Wendy, wanting to hear stories about his mother. Mika would make them all tea and they would talk for hours. Those visits had stopped after Igneel had died.

Mika took the ice pack off of his eye and grimaced at the developing black eye that had been hiding underneath.

"You're going to have quite the shiner." she worried over him, even as she smiled, "The girls will probably think you look tough."

"We have to go now but it was nice seeing you." Mika said wistfully. She stopped at the door and turned to face him, "You guys should come over for dinner sometime."

"Did he really mean it about Gray?" Natsu asked her before she could leave, the tone of his voice was flat but the fact that he even asked made Gray's heart soar. It was the most there he had seen him all year.

"Don't worry about Silver." Mika replied seriously, "He's just worried, but maybe you guys could go a week without us having to come here?"

"That should be easy, there's only 2 days of school left!" Gray grinned. He was suddenly in a good mood. The fact that Natsu had asked that question gave him hope that his friend was still in there somewhere. He followed his mother out the door.

[End of Flashback]

There were only two days of school left and Gray didn't have any homework due so he opened up the app on his phone and poked around for something to read. He'd read pretty much everything on all the fandoms he was interested in: Harry Potter, Supernatural, Assassination Classroom, Sword Art Online and Bleach. He'd even done some fanart for some of them that he posted on his devianart. There were no new updates on any of the fics he was reading so he looked around for something new. He decided to look in the Misc category since he had always been curious to see what was in there. After scrolling down he found something rather curious, a category named Fary Tail. He almost didn't click on it thinking it was a typo but then noticed another entry for Fairy Tales directly below it.

There was only one entry in the category. A story called Little Boy Lost , it was written by someone with the username Flame-Brain.

Little Boy Lost

"In a land far, far away, lies the Kingdom of Fiore, a small peaceful nation of 17 million, and a place filled with magic! Found in every home, bought and sold in every marketplace, for most, magic is merely a tool, a mundane part of everyday life. For some, however, magic is an art, and they have devoted their lives to its practice. These are the mages. Banded together into magical guilds they apply their skills in search of fame and fortune. Many such guilds dot the landscape of Fiore. But there is a certain guild in a certain town that soars high above the rest, one from which countless legends have been born... a guild that will no doubt continue to create legends well into the future. Its name... is Fairy Tail."1

A small child walked deeper and deeper into the forest. He was weak, tired and hungry but he kept walking looking for what, he knew not. He just knew that he needed to keep moving.

There was nothing particularly special about him, in fact he was average in every possible way save one. He was braver than most kids his age.

His appearance was also average. He wasn't tall or thin. In fact, the only way you could even pick him out in a crowd was by the pink hue of his hair. The boy's name was Natsu Dragneel and if you were to ask him what he was doing in the forest he would not be able to tell you.

In fact, he would not be able to tell you anything about himself save his name. That was the only fact that he knew without a doubt. He found some berries and looked at them with longing. His belly rumbled loudly no matter how much he told it to be quiet and before he could change his mind he picked some and put them in his mouth. He hoped they weren't poisonous but even if they were he wasn't going to last much longer if he didn't eat something soon. He picked as many as he could hold and took off his shirt to turn it into a bag he could carry the berries in.

It was getting dark and he began to look for a place to sleep for the night. He wasn't having much luck and was about to give up and just sleep under a tree when he saw a glowing light up ahead in the distance. He decided to go see what it was, a glowing light could mean fire and fire meant safety from the animals that hunted at night. The source of the light was further than he had thought at first but he reached it without much trouble. He now stood at the opening of a large cave.

He debated entering the cave but the night air was cold and he had begun to shiver and Natsu was brave. He took a deep breath and took a step which was quickly followed by more until deep in the cave he stood staring in awe a the source of the glow.

In front of him lay the largest creature he had ever seen in his life, at least he thought so. He couldn't remember much before he found himself in the forest. He knew right away what it was. It was a fire breathing red dragon. He knew it breathed fire because the source of the glow was the flames that accompanied the dragon's mighty snores. The air in the cave was cozy and warm and Natsu found himself feeling very sleepy. His body ached from all the walking he had done so he walked right up to the dragon and curled himself in the cradle of his front arm. He fell asleep immediately and did not wake until the next morning.

Igneel woke up to an unfamiliar smell in his lair. He tried to find the source of the new smell but it evaded him for quite a while. It wasn't until he heard a tiny snore that he thought to look down at himself. He was shocked by what he saw, a tiny human had somehow made its way into his lair while he was sleeping and was currently using him as some sort of pillow. He looked at it for hours not sure of what to do with the creature.

Several hours later the boy finally woke, his eyes opening slowly. He sat up and took in his surroundings. He finally noticed the dragon's gaze on him and smiled widely.

"Good morning, Mr. Dragon!" Natsu said cheerfully.

"The name is Igneel" Igneel said and then asked gruffly, "Who are you and what are you doing in my lair, youngling?"

"Oh, sorry! My name is Natsu, nice to meet you." Natsu extended his hand out to shake as is the polite thing to do when you meet someone but was met by Igneel's amused expression so he quickly put his hand down.

"I was looking for the source of the fire" he said honestly, "I thought i would be safe from the bad animals."

He felt badly for intruding on the dragon so he opened up his shirt and attempted to share some of the berries he had picked with him. Igneel pretended to eat some.

"Where is your family?" the dragon asked. He knew that humans usually travelled in groups.

Natsu shrugged and looked sad. "There isn't anybody else."

Igneel looked at the boy and didn't have the heart to send him away.

"If you would like, you can stay here and live with me." he offered.

Natsu jumped up and down excitedly and quickly agreed. That day was the beginning of his new life. Igneel taught him how to read and write, how to hunt and fend for himself and he gave him an amazing gift. He enchanted him with his magic, making Natsu a fire dragon slayer.

They lived this way quite happily for years, neither needing anything more than what they received from the other. Natsu loved riding on the great dragon's back and he loved to train in his magic. He remembered how proud Igneel had been the first time he had been able to conjure his own fire on the palm of his hand. Once he was able to do that Igneel started taking him to some of his meetings with the other dragons and he met four other children that were also dragon slayers. They would huddle and talk and play while the large creatures spoke in a different language they didn't understand. Natsu grew to love these meetings as it was the only time he got to play with other children and they all quickly became friends.

Natsu and Igneel were very similar in temperament. They were both quick to anger and stubborn as hell be but they could also be gentle and kind. Natsu loved his dragon father and his entire world revolved around him. That was why he was not prepared for what happened next.

Natsu once again woke up alone in the forest. There was no sign of Igneel anywhere, no smell, no footprints and no damaged trees to mark his passage. Natsu searched for him for hours, calling out his name but receiving no response. He finally sat down and tried to think about his situation. He recognized the forest he was in but he felt that it smelled different than before. He was not exactly sure why but the enhanced senses that came with his fire dragon slayer magic were never wrong. He didn't know what this meant but it made him nervous.

He made his way back to the place where he had woken up and waited for Igneel to return, leaving only to hunt for food and to bathe in the river. He would cry himself to sleep every night but never gave up hope that his father would return. He had probably been at that spot for 21 nights when the old man found him.

He was short of stature but he emanated a large amount of power. At first, Natsu was wary of him but when the man asked if he could share his fire Natsu quickly agreed. Igneel had taught him to always be polite. The man asked him lots of questions and that's when Natsu realized there was something wrong with his memories. Every time he tried to answer a question about his life he would begin confidently and then stop as the words evaded him, even though he could feel the answers existed somewhere within him.

The man told him his name was Makarov Dreyar and he was the Master of a Magical Guild called Fairy Tail in the town of Magnolia. He invited him to come with him telling him he could join his guild, as there were other children there. Children who were alone like him, they along with all the other mages could be his new family if he so chose.

Natsu did not want to leave his spot but Makarov promised that if he did not like the guild he would bring him back with enough supplies to keep him for another month. He shrugged, bored with sitting still and decided to check out this guild for himself.

They travelled for several days until they finally reached the guild. Makarov tried to explain what the name meant but Natsu couldn't understand it hearing only that it was a great adventure. He was happy to see that the old man had not been lying about the other kids. There were three, a shy brown haired girl named Cana Alberona that practiced card magic, a very intense red haired girl that went by the name Erza Scarlet and a rather cocky raven haired boy named Gray Fullbuster. They all called the Guild Mater Gramps, which the benevolent old man did not seem to mind.

He and Gray hit each other right away their opposing magics calling to each other, starting a fight they could never seem to finish as it was constantly being painfully interrupted by a scary Erza while Cana shyly watched from the sidelines. Natsu told himself he would give it a week and then return to the forest but he soon found himself wearing the guild mark on his upper right arm.

He never forgot about his dragon father and he would go out in search of him whenever he could but Fairy Tail became his new family and for that he was glad. He hoped with time he could regain the memories he had forgotten.

-o-

Gray finished reading the story and blinked in disbelief. He looked at the screen on his phone again to make sure that he had read correctly Natsu Dragneel, Makarov Dreyar, Gray Fullbuster, Erza Scarlet and even Igneel were indeed the names that appeared in this story. What the hell? He suddenly wondered if he had fallen asleep or if maybe he was going to suddenly get sucked into his phone. He chuckled nervously to himself and thought that maybe he needed to lay off of Supernatural for awhile.

Wait a minute, Fairy Tail?! Wasn't that the name of the stories that Natsu used to tell them when they were kids? He tried to remember some of them. That's right, he had been an ice mage. And Flame-Brain had been one of the insults his character would call Natsu. Gray's cheeks flushed with embarrassment as he remembered he had been the Ice Princess.

What was the moron thinking? He could have at least changed their names to something else. He began to dial Natsu's number to yell at him for his stupidity but then thought better of it as he got a better idea. He immediately went to his profile and deleted anything that might be a giveaway to his real identity. He then renamed his username to Devil-Slayer. It shouldn't make any difference since he wasn't a writer, although he did occasionally do covers for people who liked the art on his devianart account.

He didn't know why Natsu was doing this but after today he was sure that Natsu still cared about him. He was going to fight to get his friend back and if he had to use fanfiction to do it well then so be it. He was a little nervous as he didn't usually do this but he began to write a review on Natsu's story as Devil-Slayer. He added Flame-Brain to his Favorite Authors list which would update him whenever he published something and he hoped that Natsu would reply to his review so that they could get a conversation going.

A/N: I'm sorry if this chapter is a little all over the place but I'm still trying to figure out/experiment how I want this to work. Anyway I hope you enjoyed the sort of one-shot (which anyone who knows me knows I have trouble with) that he wrote for his first assignment. Let me know what works and what doesn't so I can improve it as I go. Thanks!


	4. Zeref's Pain

Disclaimer: All Fairy Tail Characters Belong To Hiro Mashima

Chapter 4: Zeref's Pain

I woke up to the loud annoying ring of my alarm clock. I watched it roll around my bedroom floor waiting for me to catch it to shut it up, Wendy's idea of a good present. I hated that thing. I looked around for something to throw at it with no luck. I ran my fingers through my hair and decided to get up. I chased the evil clock down and turned it off. I threw it at a wall too, but the stupid thing refused to break. Oh, well. After Friday I would not have to listen to it for many weeks.

I was still tired from the night before but I felt a little lighter. I got ready for school and took my phone off the charger. I didn't bother checking for messages, I knew there wouldn't be any. I made my way out to the kitchen for my usual coffee and cereal. To my surprise Zeref was already cooking breakfast. There was a plate laid high with buttermilk pancakes and another with bacon. He handed me a mug of coffee prepared just the way I liked it and smiled at my look of surprise.

"What? Can't I make breakfast every once in a while?" Zeref said looking amused but also something else. I looked at him intently trying to figure out what else he was hiding behind his black eyes. He caught me looking and quickly looked away.

"Where's Wendy?" he asked.

"She should be out any minute. It takes her awhile to decide on an outfit." I rolled my eyes.

"I see you don't have that problem." Zeref commented taking in my wrinkled appearance.

"It's not like I'm trying to impress anyone, I've finally gotten it to where everyone leaves me alone." I said, "What are you still doing here? You're usually in school by now."

"I've decided to take the summer term off." Zeref said while looking at the plate of pancakes.

"That's rather unlike you." I said slowly and stared at him intently trying to hold his gaze.

'What are you hiding?' I wondered.

"I'm not hiding anything, Natsu." Zeref said reading my mind as he has always done, "I just thought it would be good for us to spend some time together as a family. Maybe go on a vacation. School will still be there in the fall."

Something about the way he said that made me uneasy but before I could question him further Wendy came out of her room and we had to comment on her outfit to appease her tween insecurity.

"Enjoy your breakfast guys!" Zeref gave a backwards wave and headed towards his room to get ready for the day.

Wendy and I stared at each other but chose not to comment on Zeref's strange behavior. We ate our breakfast in silence and looked at our phones. Wendy looked through all of the text messages she had received overnight from all of her friends. I looked at my email to see if any of the fictions I was following had updated overnight. I didn't really get personal emails, mostly just spam. I had a few messages from the Fanfiction notification bot. Three in particular caught my eye:

Story Favorite: Devil-Slayer just favorited Little Boy Lost

Flame-Brain

The following member has added your story to her/his Favorite Stories list:

Pen Name: Devil-Slayer

Story: Little Boy Lost 

o-o

Favorite: Devil-Slayer has favorited you

Flame-Brain

The following member has added you to her/his Favorite Authors list:

Pen Name: Devil-Slayer

o-o

Review: Little Boy Lost

Flame-Brain

A new review has been posted to your story.

Story: Little Boy Lost  
Chapter: 1

From: Devil-Slayer

Does Natsu ever find his dragon? I really liked this story. The little kid was cool, I'm not sure I would have stayed in the cave once I knew there was a fire breathing dragon in there, but I guess it worked out for him. What happened with the other kids? Are you going to write more stories about them?

I wish I could write like you. The only way I can tell stories is through pictures. Anyway, great job. I look forward to reading more from you.

-  
Do not reply to this email. 

There was also a PM from Purple-Fire (a.k.a Mr. Conbolt) asking me to go see him in his office when I get to school that morning.

Wendy caught me looking at my phone instead of playing a game and was immediately on my case.

"What are you looking at?" she asked curiously trying to peek at my screen.

"Nothing, I think Gildarts is trying to boost my confidence or something." I muttered.

"You published your story?" Wendy squealed, "You jerk, you didn't tell me!"

"What's your username?" Wendy tried to peer into my phone again, "I wanna read it. Is it a Fairy Tail one?", she asked excitedly.

I nodded, amused by her enthusiasm. She got all the information from the email that was still open on my gmail and set about installing the Fanfiction app on her phone.

"Get your stuff Wend, I gotta drop you off at school and go see my teacher before school starts. Oh and hey, no reading anything above a T rating. I will check!" he warned his little sister.

She squeaked, a flurry of arms and legs, as she ran around the house getting all her stuff together, somehow managing to not trip all over herself in the process. She was going through a lot of growth spurts and she was really clumsy lately. Zeref and I thought it was cute but she hated it.

We said goodbye to Zeref who came out of his room to make sure we had lunch money. He gave us an uncharacteristic hug goodbye setting off my internal alarms all over again and shooed us out the door. Zeref was not a hugger.

"Ok, I'm not the only one who thought that was weird, right?" Wendy looked at me, her eyes large and worried.

"He said he took the summer off to be with us." I told her, "I'm sure it's fine. I bet you it's something that counselor he's been going to suggested."

She looked at me thoughtfully and nodded. "You're probably right."

We started walking towards her school, Cait Shelter Middle School. I had to hold on to her backpack and lead her so that she could read my story as she walked the short distance to her school. I saw her hit every possible button associated with my user and the story and smiled. She really is an awesome kid.

"Natsu-nii, I'm not in this one!" Wendy whined after she was done.

"I don't think I'm going to write another one." I said thinking back to the tears I had shed the night before, "I'll write about something else next time. Maybe an anime, you like those don't you? Pick one."

I looked down at her, she was giving me her disappointed pout. Her eyes looked moist and I sighed. I knew I was being played but seriously there was no one who could say no to that face.

"Fine, I'll write one more, with you in it." I gave in, "Anything in particular you want the story to be about?"

"I don't care as long as Carla is in it too. I miss her. Could you have mom in there too?" Wendy asked hopefully.

"No mom." I said quickly, adding before she could protest, "But I can add Carla."

She looked at me and after a few seconds agreed.

"Ok, well here we are. I will pick you up after school, unless Zeref shows up to pick us both up." I grinned at her. She rolled her eyes, that had happened exactly zero times.

"Ok, have a great day!" Wendy said, "I liked your story, I'm going to review it later."

"You don't have to. It's just an assignment." I reminded her.

"I know, I want to." she said before she waved excitedly and made her way inside the building.

Once she had made it all the way inside I started walking the remaining 4 blocks to get to my school, Fairy Tail High. I entered the main building and headed towards Mr. Conbolt's office.

o-o

Gray ran around his room and as he rushed to get ready for school. He had overslept, again. He thought he heard the doorbell ring and was curious, no one ever came to their house in the morning. He finished getting dressed and made his way downstairs. He tried to get something to eat before he had to dash out of the house to avoid being late. His mother had set out some pop tarts and a bottle of some yogurt drink he could drink along the way.

He was about to head out when he heard a familiar voice talking to his mother. He stopped and listened and he wondered what on Earth Zeref Dragneel was doing at his house so early in the morning.

"Mika, Is this a good time? I need to talk to you." Zeref began, "It's about Natsu and Wendy."

"Hang on a minute, Zeref." Mika said as she yelled, "Gray, You're going to be late for school!"

"I'm leaving now!" he yelled back. He wanted to listen in to whatever they were going to discuss but now that she had noticed he hadn't left that would be impossible. He left and ate his breakfast quickly as he wondered what Natsu's brother wanted to talk to his mother about. He supposed he could just ask her later.

He shrugged and checked his email hoping to see a reply from Flame-Brain but there was none. He was a little disappointed but he figured it had been a long shot. He'd keep trying if Natsu wrote another one. He hurried to school hoping to get there before the late bell.

o-o

"What about Natsu and Wendy?" Mika asked as she offered him some coffee.

"No thanks, I already had breakfast. I wasn't expecting Gray to still be here." Zeref said worriedly, "Natsu always leaves a lot earlier."

"Natsu has to drop off Wendy, Gray just goes straight to school and he is not the easiest person to wake."

"Oh, right." Zeref was annoyed that Gray knew he was there, he didn't want Natsu to know. He had already been giving him strange looks. He looked at Mika nervously and then decided to just say what he had to say.

"How much has Silver told you about my condition?" Zeref asked.

"Silver? He hasn't told me anything. When did you start seeing him?" Mika started to get a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"No matter, I forgot about the whole doctor patient thing." Zeref sighed, "I'll give him my permission and he can tell you later. I don't really want to go into it now. That's not why I'm here."

"Let's go sit over there." Mika led them to the couches in her living room and they both sat in one facing across at each other.

"I was going through my parent's wills, I wanted to see what they had wanted to happen with us when they passed. Mom had listed you and Silver as our guardians in the event of her death. Dad did not change it." Zeref said as he tried to keep any emotion out of his voice.

"Were you aware of that?" Zeref asked.

"Yes of course, we had discussed it." Mika said with a little waver at the end. She couldn't believe this was happening again. She was furious at Silver for not giving her some kind of warning that this was coming.

"Are you still up for it?" Zeref asked and although he was trying hard to keep any emotion out of his voice his eyes gave him away. His eyes were pleading with her to say yes.

"Normally they would go to Gramps, but he's old and he's got his hands full with Laxus. I don't think he can handle another two teenagers." Zeref said , "And living with Laxus is the last thing Natsu needs right now. It would only be for less than two years."

"Zeref-" Mika tried to interrupt

"I can help pay for a bigger house for all of you. College won't be an issue either. Actually, they left us plenty of money period, especially after Gramps sold our house." he started to sound desperate as he babbled, "They can pay for themselves, I just need to know they'll be ok. Once Natsu turns 18 maybe you can help him find a small place to buy for him and Wendy."

"Zeref, stop." Mika said gently as she stood up, "Come here."

He looked at her and walked over wordlessly. She was the closest thing to a mom they had left and he allowed her to hug him. She began to rub circles on his back as she stroked his hair and he couldn't help it, he began to cry. He was so scared, not for himself but for the two he would leave behind soon. He had no idea what his death would do to his siblings who had already experienced so much loss. He had known for years that he would die young but their dad was supposed to be there to soften the blow. They had been getting ready to tell Natsu and Wendy that he was ill when Acnologia killed their father. Zeref had not been able to bring himself to tell them after that and now he regretted it.

The last year had been very difficult for him, he'd had to hide all of his medicines and treatments from his siblings. Had to make sure that all his appointments were scheduled during the hours while he was supposed to be in school. The truth was he hadn't been to university since his father's death. He spent most of his days undergoing treatments or recovering from them. He and Silver had exhausted every treatment they could find to try to extend his life but they had finally run out of even the holistic stuff. Just like had happened with his mother, none of them had worked.

Mika let him cry for as long as he needed to, murmuring soft words in his ear until he calmed down.

"I'm sorry." Zeref looked down at the carpet.

"Don't be, you need to take care of yourself too, sweetheart." Mika said kindly , "I know this can't be easy for you."

"Alright, here's what we're going to do. Natsu and Wendy will stay here tonight and through the weekend." Mika said, "It'll be good for them to start to get used to us again and hopefully we can start on fixing Natsu and Gray's issues as well. You, Silver and I will meet with your grandfather and work this out."

"I do have one condition. You have to tell them." Mika said sternly, "I mean it Zeref, I don't want you to repeat your mother's mistake."

Zeref nodded relieved that she had agreed so easily. He left to go pack his siblings things.

Mika watched as Zeref's car left their driveway. She made her way to her bedroom and started the water in the shower. Once the water had warmed up enough she got in and let the hot water soothe her as she let loose the tears that she had been holding in while holding Zeref. She cried for herself, she still missed Mavis terribly. She cried for Mavis and Zeref who were cursed to have such short lives. She cried for Igneel who had been taken so violently from them and for Silver who was once again forced to fight a losing battle, but mostly she cried for Natsu and Wendy who had no idea what was coming.

She let the water wash her tears away and once she had gotten herself under control she got out and got dressed. She would have to go to the grocery store, from what she remembered Natsu had a rather large appetite.

o-o

"I read your story last night and everything seems to be in order." Macao Conbolt said as he rummaged through the papers that littered his desk, "It was a good start. Remember you need to publish once a week. If for some reason you have to miss one week, I will expect two the following week."

"I meant to ask you, do you think it's wise to use the names of real people in your work?" he asked me as he continued to rifle through his desk.

"Do you really think that anyone from this school is going to find it?" I pointed out, "It is in one of the most obscure areas of the whole site. They had to create a Category for me to even be able to publish the story. The only way anyone would find it is if you already knew that it was there and I'm not planning on telling anyone, are you?"

"No, the only other people that know about this are your grandfather and Gildarts."

"Speaking of Gildarts, can you tell him that he doesn't need to write me fake reviews to try to boost my confidence. It's embarrassing."

"Gildarts? He hasn't even read it yet. He told me he was planning on getting to it at lunch time."

I looked at him in confusion. If Gildarts hadn't written that review then that meant that this Devil-Slayer was an actual person. Some random person that had managed to stumble onto my story and liked was unexpected but it did feel kind of nice.

Should I respond? I didn't want to but I really hated it when I reviewed a story and the writer never got back to me. I didn't want to do the same to someone else. This person had taken the time to be nice to me, the least I could do was respond in kind. What could it possibly hurt anyway? I decided to just write something back during homeroom.

I asked Mr. Conbolt if there was anything else and he was happy to let me go. I made my way towards homeroom and sat as far back as I could. I ignored the kids around me and opened my phone. I reread the review and thought about what to reply as I began to swipe on the keyboard.

"Hate to break it to you but Igneel will never return for Natsu. Maybe in death they can be reunited, along with his mother and everyone else who has left him behind. I wasn't planning on writing anymore of these stories but my sister was upset that I hadn't included her so I will write at least one more.

The other kids grew up to be happy and well adjusted, but not Natsu. He was too sad and scared to lose anyone else so he hid himself away.

That's funny, I've always wanted to be able to create stories in pictures, I guess it goes to show you always want what you can't have."

Wow. He'll never want to talk to me again. I snorted at my depressing response and tried again.

"I'm surprised you found my story but I'm glad you liked it. Natsu will continue to search for his dragon for years. Eventually he'll come to realize that he doesn't need to search for him anymore because the dragon has been inside him the whole time in his heart and in his mind and everytime he behaves in a way that would have made Igneel happy he has in essence found his dragon. How's that for deep :)?

I wasn't planning on writing any more stories about Fairy Tail but my sister requested one so I will write at least one more.

I have a deep respect for artists, it is something I can't do and it seems harder than writing. Thanks for taking the time to review. Have a nice day!

I sent my reply and moved on to my first class. The last two days of school were pointless it was a lot of listening to final presentations and I had already presented all of mine earlier in the week. I settled in for a boring day.

During lunch I received a text from Zeref telling me that he would be busy for the next few days and Wendy and I would be staying at the Fullbuster's until Sunday. I was supposed to pick up Wendy with Gray after school as our stuff was already at their house.

A whole weekend at Gray's house? I wasn't sure how I felt about that but I suppose it will be fine as long as Wendy will be there too. At least Gray always has all the latest games. Zeref refuses to buy any game consoles. He claims they rot your brain. I shrugged and ate my lunch in the library.

After school I set about trying to find Gray, last year I would not have had a problem finding him as we had been inseparable since my birth but now things were different. I finally saw him laughing with Lucy and Erza at the school entrance. I would rather not have to deal with Lucy and Erza but I was supposed to go pick up Wendy with Gray so I had no choice. I slowly made my way towards the group.

In the time it took me to get there Juvia had shown up and was once again throwing herself at Gray who looked about as interested as he usually did. I knew what this meant, I sped up trying to get there before Lyon Vastia did.

I managed to get there just in time. I saw Lyon throw his first punch and I managed to block it as I placed myself in front of Gray. I pushed Lyon back roughly and he landed on his back on the grass.

"For God's sake Lyon, why don't you invest in a leash for your damn girlfriend and leave Gray alone?" I yelled at him, "She's the one who comes on to him, not the other way around."

They all looked at me in shock as I shoved Gray in the direction of Wendy's school.

"What the hell was that?" Gray sputtered, 'Why did you do that?"

"Because I'm supposed to be staying at your house for the weekend and the last thing I need is for you to come home with a new bruise and have your dad think it was me that put it there." I said matter-of-factly.

He looked at me in satisfied understanding and walked quietly next to me.

"You know, if you just told Juvia the truth about yourself she would leave you alone and so would Lyon." I said not really thinking about what I had said.

"The truth about myself, what do you mean by that?" Gray looked at me, confused.

"Nevermind.' I muttered. Maybe he hadn't even realized it himself yet but I had, I had noticed it years ago. I realized a little sadly that this was the deepest conversation we'd had in months.

I'm the one who shuts him out and he's the one that keeps fighting, often literally, to keep me and refuses to let me let him go. I don't really want to let him go, I never have. I'm just confused and scared and hurt. Life has this nasty habit of taking people I care about from me without any warning.

We walked the rest of the way to Wendy's school in silence.

A/N Let me know what you thought about this chapter, I'm trying a few different things in this story. This was an interesting week for me in many ways. I'm still waiting for power to be returned after Winter Storm Quinn (which is also my son's name *grin*) passed through my state. Thankfully we installed a generator years ago so we're fine. I also suffered through a bit of a writer's crisis. To all of you who read the one shot I Will Keep You Safe (which will eventually make its way in here) and were upset with me for how it ended I'm sorry, but there was no other way for it to end without it feeling like it was a cop out. I want you to know, however that I did not take it lightly and I probably cried more than you as I wrote it.

Thank you to all my writer friends who helped me through my other writing crisis, your support means the world to me. I feel a lot better now and I can move forward with more confidence. I have also become aware of unpleasantness being hurled at writers who are attempting to participate in the first ever gratsulu event. On that note I thought it would be nice to have a support space for FT Writers to share with other FT writers, no matter what part of the fandom they are a part of.

For this purpose I have created a forum called Fairy Tail Writers Lounge that I hope can come to be that for us. It is very bare bones at the moment as I am still trying to figure out how forums work. There is a link to it in my profile since FFNet is a pain about links This is the blurb I wrote for it:

Fairy Tail is all about family so I thought it would be nice to have a place for Fairy Tail Writers, no matter what part of the fandom they identify with, to come together and converse with each other about writing, share ideas or resources about handling writer's block, unpleasant reviewers, writing challenges or whatever else they want. The idea is to foster a sense of community and support between the writers that make up this fandom.

If you are an FT writer and like the idea of this space come in and help me turn it into a safe place for all of us, and let other FT writers know about it. Thanks!


	5. Making Plans

Disclaimer: All Fairy Tail Characters Belong to Hiro Mashima

Chapter 5: Making Plans

"Gray!" Wendy squealed with delight when she saw the boy that was walking beside Natsu. She had always loved the raven haired boy, he had even been her first crush. When she had confessed her feelings he had broken her heart by telling her he was too old for her but he had taken her out for ice cream afterwards and never treated her any differently. She hoped to change his mind when she was older.

She ran towards the two boys and tackled Gray in a violent hug. He chuckled and picked her up squeezing her tightly before putting her down. Wendy could feel the glares of all the middle school girls who were jealous she was being picked up by two cute high school boys. They didn't have to know that one of them was her brother, she grinned to herself.

"So how come we're staying at your house?" Wendy asked curiously, "Zeref-nii didn't mention anything about it this morning."

Gray shrugged his shoulders, "I didn't know until my mom texted me, he was at my house this morning though."

"He's going to be gone all weekend?" Wendy scrunched her eyebrows in a thoughtful expression. "Oh my god! Natsu, do you think he has a girlfriend? Maybe he's taking her away on a romantic weekend!"

"What girl would date Zeref?" Natsu snorted, "He's up to something, though. He was acting all strange this morning."

Wendy secretly agreed but still felt the need to defend her eldest brother,"That's not very nice. Zeref is handsome and smart and kind."

"And boring and moody." Natsu added, "Plus he doesn't do anything except be on his computer and read. At least before he got to college he did sports and stuff."

"How is that any different from you?" Wendy pointed out.

"I didn't say it was but I'm not looking for anyone at the moment." Natsu said, "I wouldn't mind it if he had a girlfriend to take some of his attention away from me, though."

Wendy agreed with that too, Zeref had been overly fixated on Natsu the last few months. Although after what she had seen at her grandfather's office the previous week, he was right to be. She had been worried too but she had never thought it would have gotten that bad. She really hoped that Natsu would snap out of his funk this summer. Maybe this sleepover was one of Zeref's plans to help Natsu. Gray had always been able to get through to him before, maybe if they were forced to spend time together he would be able to again.

Whatever the reason, she was excited. She loved going to Gray's house. Mika, his mother, was really nice and his father was nice too, although he and Natsu didn't seem to get along very well lately. His house was fun too, they had converted their basement into a game room with a pool table and an air hockey table as well as lots of video games that you could play on a ginormous LCD projection screen which was also good for watching movies. It also had a small area set aside for a movie style popcorn machine and a refrigerator for drinks. Wendy was sure Natsu would happily live in that room if he was allowed and some summers it felt like they almost did.

Their grandfather had sold their parents house after their father died. Zeref had been determined to take care of them and Gramps had thought that buying a smaller house for the three of them would make it easier for Zeref. Wendy liked their new smaller house but it wasn't anything like their old one. It was too quiet. Natsu stayed in his room most of the time, and Zeref was always busy with school. In their old house if she closed her eyes she could almost hear her mother's cheerful voice and her father's booming laugh. Her new house had nothing but pictures to quiet the aching hole in her heart. She tried to shake the sudden melancholy that her thoughts had put her in and once again thought about the upcoming weekend. She remembered she needed to go shopping for new clothes to replace the ones she had recently outgrown.

"Hey Gray, do you think your mom would mind taking me shopping for clothes?" Wendy asked hopefully, "Natsu and Zeref aren't very fun to shop with, they always end up arguing, and Lucy and Erza don't come by anymore."

Natsu felt a little bad about that, when he started pushing people away he hadn't considered how it would affect his sister. She had not taken it well when he had broken up with Lucy.

"I'm sure you couldn't stop her if you tried." Gray grinned, knowing that his mom loved to take the little girl shopping. "You know, Wend, I'm pretty sure you could still hang out with Erza and Lucy if you wanted to. You shouldn't have to suffer just because your brother chooses to be a dick to his friends."

"Oi, I'm standing right here." Natsu complained, "He's right though, I don't care if you hang out with them as long as I don't have to be involved."

"This is going to be so much fun!" Wendy squealed in excitement, "We haven't done this since Dad used to take Mom on those vacations, remember?"

Gray did remember. Igneel used to take Mavis on vacations a few times a year and Natsu, Wendy and Zeref would stay at the Fullbusters. Gray loved those times because it made him feel like he had siblings, something he had always wanted. By the same token Gray would stay at their house when his parents went away. The Dragneel and Fullbuster families had always been close. The fact that he hadn't even been invited to their new house yet was a testament to how things had changed in the last year.

They finally arrived at his house. His mother had set up the kitchen island with snacks for the three teens along with a note saying she and Silver would be back late and to order pizza for dinner. They finished their snacks and went straight to the game room.

"You have a Nintendo Switch!" Natsu yelled in excitement, "What games do you have? Can we play?"

Gray chuckled, it was always amusing to him how much Natsu loved video games and how determined Zeref was to keep them away from him.

"I preordered it from GameStop at launch." Gray smirked as he threw some joy-cons at the two siblings. He put the Mario Kart 8 Deluxe cartridge in the console and watched Natsu drool over the device as they waited for the screen to load.

"I wonder if I could buy one and keep it hidden from Zeref. I mean, it's not bulky like the other consoles, I don't even have to attach it to a TV. I could just play it handheld with my headphones." Natsu wondered out loud. Wendy patted his shoulder comfortingly but privately wondered the same thing.

Gray showed them how to use the controllers and they were off. They spent the rest of the afternoon playing all the Switch games that Gray owned and ordered pizza for dinner. Gray wondered where his parents were. They usually didn't go out on weeknights.

o-o

Mika and Silver Fullbuster were sitting at a table in a crowded cafe. They had arrived early so that they could talk things over before meeting with Zeref and Makarov Dreyar.

"How could you not tell me that Zeref was sick?" Mika asked her husband accusingly.

Silver sighed as he sipped his rather strong drink. Even though he knew better than anyone that this day was coming he had been dreading it nonetheless.

"Zeref has always been sick, you know that. Just like Mavis, he's had this his entire life. His symptoms just happened to get worse after she died. I couldn't tell you the details without his permission."

"I also didn't want to believe it was true. I kept hoping that one of the treatments we were trying would take." Silver said, the frustration in his voice evident.

This was the second time he had been forced to watch someone who he considered to be like family be taken away by ARVD. A disease that should have been manageable but none of his considerable training could do anything to help. He knew it was just bad luck that Zeref's case was so bad but it made him feel like a failure and unlike with his other patients he was forced to watch how his failure affected the people that were left behind. In this case he and his wife had committed themselves to raising the boy's siblings and he knew that was not going to be easy for any of them. What would Natsu and Wendy see when they looked at him? He finished the contents of his drink and ordered another.

"But now his left ventricle has become compromised and the only thing left to try is a heart transplant. The odds of him surviving it are so low that he chose to just enjoy whatever time he has left with his family. I can't say I disagree with his decision."

"That poor family." Mika looked down at her hands, "Silver, I know you don't like Natsu but I feel that we really need to do this. We're all they have left."

"Did you really think I was going to say no?' Silver looked at his wife with a hurt expression, "Of course we're going to take them in! We agreed to this years ago.

"You're wrong about my feelings for Natsu." Silver said softly, "I don't dislike him, I just-, it's hard to explain. I guess you could say I'm angry with him."

"Why?" Mika asked, "Because of Gray?

"No. It has nothing to do with Gray, that's another matter altogether.", Silver tried to explain, "I'm angry at Natsu because he's been acting like a selfish brat. Zeref is constantly stressed out about him which is not good for his condition. I feel like in a way he's responsible for Zeref's deterioration and it makes me angry. And I know it's not fair because Natsu doesn't know that Zeref is sick, and I have to imagine that if he knew how his behavior was affecting his brother he would stop because I know that Natsu is a good kid and he loves his brother. I should be mad at Zeref for not telling them, but I also understand why he didn't. This whole situation just sucks."

"I have some conditions though." Silver said seriously, "While they live with us Natsu and Wendy will have to adhere to the same rules as Gray and the fighting has to stop."

"Ok, that's reasonable." Mika agreed. She hugged her husband and he kissed the top of her head.

"I mean it Mika, no babying them."

"I think you mean no babying them anymore than I do Gray."

Silver snorted and rolled his eyes at her.

"We'll be alright." he assured her. They started discussing the changes they would need to make to the house to get it ready. They decided to stay in the same house and build an addition to it. They would create a master suite for themselves and give their room to Wendy since she might be living there the longest and it had its own bathroom, while Natsu could have the guest room next to Gray's room. The two boys could share a bathroom. Their house was familiar to the children and they didn't want to take that away from them.

Zeref and Makarov arrived together as they were still discussing changes to their house.

"We're sorry we're late. Laxus was being difficult." Makarov said as he sat down in one of the two empty chairs. Zeref sat in the other, looking gloomy.

A waitress came to take their order. Makarov ordered a beer while Zeref looked at Silver's glass longingly while ordering a glass of water.

"If I make it to 21, I'm having at least one." he muttered under his breath.

"Kid, when you make it to 21 I'll buy you one myself, but just one" Silver smiled at him encouragingly as he ruffled Zeref's hair.

Zeref mock glared at the gesture but nodded. Now wasn't the time to start thinking about all the things he would never get to do. Now was the time to discuss Natsu and Wendy's future.

"Did you guys get a chance to talk about it?" Zeref asked the couple.

"Yes, we did. We'd be happy to take them in." Mika said and Silver nodded his agreement.

Zeref looked relieved and began to look at his menu as he let the other adults figure out how things would work after he was gone. His part was done, he had followed his parents wishes.

"Makarov, we don't want to take them away from you or Laxus," Mika said, "How much time do you want them to have with you?"

"I've been giving that some thought ever since Zeref called me earlier. I'd like to keep having a family dinner once a week like we do now and I'd like them to know that they can stay with me as often as they want, as long as it's not to escape a punishment." Makarov said, "Outside of that I'd like to have them for at least two weeks in the summer and of course if you ever need to go out of town I'd be happy to take all of them, including Gray. We can discuss holidays and all that at a later time."

They ordered their dinner and continued discussing plans, Zeref listened and added to the conversation when necessary. They agreed to meet at the Fullbuster's on Sunday for brunch. They would tell Natsu and Wendy of what was happening then.

A/N Zeref has a disease called ARVD which stands for Arrhythmogenic Right Ventricular Dysplasia. It is a genetic, progressive heart condition in which the muscle of the right ventricle is replaced by fat and fibrosis, which causes abnormal heart rhythms. If the left ventricle is involved, it is usually late in the course of disease, and confers a poor prognosis. Heart transplant may be performed in ARVD. It may be indicated if the arrhythmias associated with the disease are uncontrollable or if there is severe bi-ventricular heart failure that is not manageable with pharmacological therapy.

The symptoms of ARVD/C are usually a result of an arrhythmia. Many people do not know they have an arrhythmia. There are many different symptoms of an arrhythmia and healthy people without ARVD/C can have these symptoms. When you feel your heart speed up or slow down or feel it pounding or skipping beats, it is called palpitations. Palpitations are a normal response to fright or exertion but can, in other circumstances, be abnormal. If the change in rhythm makes it difficult for the heart to pump blood, other symptoms can occur such as lightheadedness and fainting (also called syncope). Arrhythmias can also impair the flow of blood to the heart muscle and cause chest pain, which is also called angina. An arrhythmia can also cause sudden death if the heart cannot pump enough blood to its own muscle and to the lungs and body. Fortunately, sudden death is not a common complication, but the risk must be considered when deciding on the treatment.

Sometimes people with ARVD/C develop symptoms of heart failure. Heart failure means that the heart muscle is not pumping blood through the body effectively. Symptoms include swelling of the legs, feet, and abdomen; feelings of shortness of breath while lying down and while exercising, and feelings of extreme fatigue.

In addition to these common symptoms of arrhythmias and heart failure other symptoms individuals with ARVD/C have reported include nausea, dizziness, heart fluttering, heart racing, etc.

There is a lot of information online on it, if you go looking keep in mind that he has a severe case of it and has had it since he was a child. He and Silver have already tried every treatment there is for it but none of them have worked for long.


	6. The Last Day of School

Disclaimer: All Fairy Tail Characters Belong to Hiro Mashima

Chapter 6: The Last Day of School

Gray managed to wake himself up earlier than usual. He looked around his room and although he saw Natsu's stuff all over the floor he saw no sign of the boy himself. For once he had time for a shower and he smiled when he saw Natsu's and Wendy's toiletries in the bathroom. He found it mildly amusing that he finally managed this on the last day of school. He got dressed and listened for the sounds of his friends voices but only heard his parents talking in the kitchen.

He hurried downstairs and entered the kitchen hoping his mother had made breakfast. He spotted a plate with scrambled eggs, toast and bacon and a glass of orange juice sitting on the breakfast bar. He grabbed it and sat down to eat.

"Good morning, Gray." his mother greeted him.

"Morning. Where are Natsu and Wendy?" Gray managed to get out in between bites.

"They left about twenty minutes ago. Natsu had to drop Wendy off at school." his mother informed him.

"So how come they're staying here, anyway?" Gray asked , "And where were you guys last night? You never got out on weeknights."

"Zeref just needed some time to himself" Mika quickly answered. Gray did not miss the look that was exchanged between his parents. Something was up.

"We just went out to dinner with some friends." SIlver added, "Did you kids have a good time?"

Gray gave it some thought. "Yeah, we just played video games and ordered pizza. It was fun."

"I'll have to make sure Natsu doesn't try to take the Switch with him when he goes home." Gray chuckled, "You should have seen him drool over it."

Once again his parents looked at each other almost as if they were having a silent conversation which ended when Silver shook his head. Okaaaay, that was odd.

Gray looked at his watch and put his dish in the dishwasher. "I have to go."

He grabbed his things and headed out of the house. He finally looked at his phone. He had a bunch of messages from Erza, Lucy and Loke but he decided to check his email before looking through them. He saw a PM: Flame-Brain email from fanfiction and stopped walking. He had actually replied! Feeling unusually nervous he opened the email to read what Natsu had written to him.

"I'm surprised you found my story but I'm glad you liked it. Natsu will continue to search for his dragon for years. Eventually he'll come to realize that he doesn't need to search for him anymore because the dragon has been inside him the whole time in his heart and in his mind and everytime he behaves in a way that would have made Igneel happy he has in essence found his dragon. How's that for deep :)?

I wasn't planning on writing any more stories about Fairy Tail but my sister requested one so I will write at least one more.

I have a deep respect for artists, it is something I can't do and it seems harder than writing. Thanks for taking the time to review. Have a nice day!

Gray was a little disappointed that there was nothing in the message that he could easily reply to to keep the conversation going but that was probably just as well. If he kept writing to Natsu he might scare him off and that's the last thing he wanted.

He kept walking to school running the events of the previous day through his mind. He wasn't sure if it was because Wendy was with them or the fact that they had been at his house without his parents but for the first time in a long while Natsu had been acting somewhat like his old self. He had felt like he had his best friend back and that made him happy. Gray wondered if there was such a thing as video game therapy because if there wasn't there should be. He was excited to see if the results extended to school.

He got to homeroom and immediately looked for Natsu, part of him hoping to see him talking to Lucy and Erza even though he knew it was unlikely. Natsu was sitting at the back of the classroom as usual, looking at his phone and emitting the same leave me alone vibe he had done all year. He went to go sit next to him but his friend Loke grabbed him by the arm and dragged him over to where his other friends were waiting.

"Did you turn your phone off or something?" Loke complained, "We were trying to talk to you all night."

"I was busy." he replied without volunteering any additional information.

"Lucy's party is tonight. You're still coming, right?" Loke asked.

Crap! He had forgotten all about Lucy's party. Weeks ago he had promised that he would go. What was he supposed to do? Natsu was not going to want to go and he wasn't even sure Lucy would want him to. She was still pretty upset about how their relationship ended. He didn't exactly feel right about leaving Natsu and Wendy alone with his parents. Although, if he was being honest with himself that wasn't exactly the reason. He had somewhat gotten Natsu back last night and he wasn't sure how long that would last. After almost a year of dealing with emotionally unavailable Natsu he didn't want to miss out just to go to some stupid party.

"I don't think I can. We have houseguests." Gray hedged, "Family friends."

"Bring them along." Lucy said cheerfully, "The more the merrier, there should be plenty of food and drinks."

"I don't think he would like to come and the other one is too young.",= Gray said remembering Wendy, "Sorry. There will be other parties."

He saw Lucy's disappointed expression and felt a little bad, but thought it was also probably for the best. More and more he'd been getting the feeling that Lucy had developed a crush on him and he really wasn't interested in her in that way.

"What did Natsu want with you yesterday?" Erza looked at him, her expression hard to read but he thought he detected a little bit of envy.

Like him, Erza had tried to remain friends with Natsu but unfortunately because of her personality it had not gone well. She tried to force him to talk to her about things he'd rather not and it caused him to shut down more and avoid her like the plague. She had finally given up but she still watched over him from afar, ready to interfere when needed. The three of them had been friends the longest, Lucy hadn't come into the picture until they were in elementary school.

"Nothing, We picked up Wendy from school and hung out at my house for awhile." Gray said trying to downplay the situation before it could be turned into a big deal.

"What was that whole thing with Lyon about?" Erza asked with interest, "It's not like Natsu to get involved in anything."

"Oh that! The last time we got into a fight my dad came down on him pretty hard." Gray explained, "Since they were coming to my house he didn't want my dad to think we'd been fighting again."

They continued to ask him a lot of questions but thankfully the bell rang and they all split up to go to their different classes. He noticed Erza's gaze lingering on him and knew there would be a conversation in his immediate future.

The rest of the day continued uneventfully, most people were talking about Lucy's party or their plans for the summer. When the lunch bell rang, he grabbed his books and headed for his locker to drop off his stuff before heading to the cafeteria.

Erza grabbed him before he could get into the lunch line. He threw some money at Loke and asked him to buy him food. He followed Erza to an empty classroom and waited as she closed the door behind him.

"Spill. What's going on? Why was Natsu really with you yesterday?" Erza asked looking at him with her I will not accept anything but the absolute truth or you will get hurt glare.

"Nothing is going on. Zeref needed a few days to himself so he asked my parents if Natsu and Wendy could stay with us." Gray shrugged, "Maybe Natsu is getting to him or something. He hasn't exactly been a ray of sunshine."

"They're staying at your house? Wendy too?" Erza asked, he could hear the longing in her voice. She had always loved Wendy like a sister.

He nodded.

"How are they?" Erza asked

"Wendy misses you and Lucy. I told her that you would be happy to hang out with her even if Natsu was being an ass."

"And?"

"She said she would like that and Natsu said he didn't care as long as he didn't have to be involved.

Erza looked a little disheartened by Natsu's response but like Gray she would take what she could get at the moment.

"How was he?" Erza asked shyly.

"Yesterday he was like he used to be." Gray said excitedly, "We were playing video games in the game room and it was almost like nothing had ever happened."

"It didn't seem like it in class." she said before asking shyly, "Do you think I could come over for a little while?"

"You're going to come over no matter what I say, aren't you?" he noted drily.

"Well yeah, but you'll feel better if you say yes." Erza grinned, "And I'll bring cake."

He looked at her and said "Ok, but Erza" he said trying to think of a way to phrase his thoughts in a way that wouldn't get him pummeled, "just you and…..don't push him."

She promised she would be on her best behavior. He thought about telling her about Natsu's writing but ultimately decided against it. He knew she would want to try to communicate with him as well and Erza was about as subtle as a sledgehammer with a silencer attachment. We went back outside and joined the others for lunch.

Loke approached him and said with a coaxing tone, ¨Come on Gray, come to the party, Cana and Juvia are both going to be there.¨

Gray laughed, "I can't tell whether you're trying to get me to go or make sure I stay home."

"Dude, you have all these girls that are into you. Why won't you take advantage of it?", Loke whined.

"Juvia is with Lyon and there is no way I would get in the middle of that even if I were interested, which I'm not. I already dated Cana and even though I like her a lot we were definitely a disaster.", Gray pointed out.

Loke sighed, "Gray, you're a teenager. Have some fun."

"I'm not interested." Gray said firmly as he saw Lucy head towards them.

Lucy sat across from him and tried to give him puppy eyes. "I'm going to be leaving on Sunday. My dad took the summer off and decided to travel around the world. If you don't come to my party tonight I won't get to see you all summer." she pouted.

"I'm sorry Lucy, I just can't go." he said, "I'm sure it will be a great party. Everyone's been talking about it all day, you won't even notice I'm not there."

He really hoped that spending the whole summer away would make her forget her sudden infatuation with him. Lucy was a great girl but she would be better off with someone else. Like Erza, he only saw her as his childhood friend, an important part of his life but not someone he had any interest in getting intimate with. There was also the fact that she was Natsu's ex and no one really knew why they had broken up.

He changed the conversation to her upcoming trip asking her which countries she was going to visit. He spent the rest of the lunch period listening to her talk while he finished his lunch. Even though she attempted to appear annoyed by the forced trip he could tell that she was actually really excited about it. Gray was happy for her, he knew she didn't get to spend a lot of time with her father.

The rest of the school day flew by as teachers allowed the students to do whatever they wanted as long as they weren't too loud. Finally the bell that signalled the end of their junior year rang and all the students sprung from their seats and dashed outside. Gray got up and made one last trip to his locker to make sure he had retrieved all its contents. Natsu was already waiting for him and they left to go pick up Wendy from her school.

o-o

"What do you have there?" Natsu watched with curiosity as his friend held a small box with barely contained excitement. He looked almost giddy.

"This box " Gray said with great drama, " holds your doom."

He opened the box slowly and took out a smaller box containing a copy of Super Smash Bros for the Switch. He held it up for the others to see.

Wendy started to squeal, "How do you even have that? It just came out today!"

Gray grinned, "One of the suits from Nintendo America is a patient of my dad's. I think my dad saved his life or something. He sent us an advanced copy as a thank you. Shall we play?"

"You are going down, little man." Natsu challenged.

"Such big words from the girl with the sakura hair!" Gray replied, "You won't even be able to touch me."

"You're both going down!" Wendy boasted eagerly, "I call Squid Girl."

While Gray got the game setup Wendy made some popcorn for them and grabbed drinks. They settled down to play. Fifteen minutes after they had started playing the doorbell rang.

"Gray? Can you get that please, honey? I'm in the middle of cooking dinner." Mika's voice rang out.

"Ok, I'm coming." Gray paused the game and ran upstairs. He already had a pretty good idea who it was. He opened the door to find Erza standing on his doorstep holding a box from a local bakery in her arms.

"I see you weren't kidding about the cake." Gray smiled with amusement.

"I never joke about cake." Erza said adamantly. Then a bit nervously, "Are they here?"

"Yes, we're playing downstairs. Come in."

He grabbed the box from her and moved out of the way to let her enter.

"Erza! What a great surprise, I haven't seen you in ages!" Mika said as she hugged Erza warmly, "You should stay for dinner. Oh and you brought dessert, fantastic! We'll have to catch up later."

Erza gave Mika a small smile and nodded. She followed Gray down the stairs and was immediately tackled by an ecstatic Wendy.

"ERZA! I'm so happy to see you."

Erza smiled at the younger girl. "It's good to see you too, Wendy. You've gotten bigger since the last time I saw you."

"Ugh, I know. I'm such a big klutz now. Zeref and Natsu make fun of me all the time."

"Actually, what she meant to say is that we tell her that it's cute, isn't that so Wendy?" Natsu quickly clarified before Erza could pummel him for daring to upset her sister figure.

Wendy muttered something that sounded like same difference under her breath.

"What are you guys doing?" Erza asked with interest.

"Oh, we're playing a new game that Gray just got. It's a fighting game, Do you want to play?"

"Is that so?" a scary smile slowly appeared on Erza's face. The red head never shied down from a challenge. "I would love to. Girls against boys?"

Natsu and Gray looked at each other then and shrugged, although they looked a little nervous. If there was one thing they had learned from previous experience it was that while Erza might be able to fight well in real life, she sucked at video games. She would invariably get horribly violent when she lost resulting in various degrees of destruction. Wendy was not aware of this fact and so she was excited to have Erza on her side. They looked at her with pity hoping she could hold her own as Erza never admitted to being at fault.

"You're on!"

Thirty minutes later they had switched to Mario Kart to allow Erza to calm down from being trounced. That went a lot better. They were soon laughing together and much too soon were called upstairs to dinner.

Dinner was pleasant with Silver and Mika asking a lot of questions of all the kids, trying to catch up on what was going on in their lives. Natsu was the most quiet but he did answer questions when asked. After they finished eating Mika brought out Erza's cake. To everyone's surprise it was not a strawberry cake but a chocolate one.

"Chocolate?" Gray asked her teasingly, he knew exactly why she had gotten it. Chocolate cake was Natsu's favorite.

Erza answered with a huge blush on her face, "I thought Natsu might like it."

"Thanks, Erza." Natsu said softly, looking at her directly for the first time. He gave her a tentative smile.

Natsu had to admit to himself that he had missed this a little. When Erza first arrived he had been wary of her intentions but as the afternoon had progressed he had relaxed somewhat. With her here, it reminded him of other sleepovers they'd had. The only one missing was Zeref, who would always be curled up in a chair with a book watching over them and interfering if they got too out of hand. This felt safe, familiar. Maybe allowing himself this much would be ok.

"Did I hear something about a new Smash Bros game?" Silver asked as a competitive grin lit up his handsome face, "Are you boys ready to be humiliated?"

Once upon a time, Natsu had thought of Silver as a sort of uncle so he had been confused and a little hurt when the man's attitude towards him had changed so drastically. Right now, though he seemed to be in a good mood and Natsu was never one to leave a challenge unheeded. The man was a demon at video games, he was even better than his son. He usually teamed up with Erza to help balance out the teams. It was the reason Erza mistakenly thought she could win whenever they played. Natsu, Gray and Silver rushed downstairs goading each other on the whole way. Soon shouts of glee and frustration could be heard from the game room.

The girls helped Mika clean up the dishes from dinner and settled down to watch a movie. Erza felt like she was forgetting something but dismissed the idea, completely caught up in spending time with Natsu and Wendy, both of whom she had missed so much. Wendy cuddled up on the sofa with Erza and they both fell asleep with content smiles on their faces.

A/N This chapter is mostly fluff/filler. The next chapter will deal with Natsu and Wendy finding out about Zeref's illness.


	7. The Other Shoe

Disclaimer: All Fairy Tail Characters Belong To Hiro Mashima

Chapter 7: The Other Shoe

Zeref looked at himself in the mirror trying to decide whether he was presentable enough for brunch at the Fullbusters. He supposed he looked alright, was there really a correct dress code for telling someone you were dying? He doubted it, once the words came out of his mouth they wouldn't be looking at his clothes anyway.

He had spent the last few days staying with his grandfather who was loath to leave him alone at the moment. Truth be told he was a nervous wreck. When he had been getting ready to do this last time his dad had been with him every step of the way. This time he was alone and he didn't know what he could do to lessen the blow. He could only think of how uncomfortable it would be in the house. The only positive he could see is that he wouldn't have to spend so much time hiding how he felt. The gig would be as they say, up. To counter this Gramps had decided they should go on a family vacation, that way they could all deal with the aftermath together. Zeref thought it was a terrible idea but the old man had already taken care of everything. They would be leaving on Wednesday.

He heard a knock on the door and looked away from the mirror to see his cousin Laxus standing at the door uncomfortably.

"Gramps wants to know if you're ready to go?"

"Yeah, tell him I'll be out in a minute." Zeref said, "Hey Laxus, thanks for coming without a fuss. I imagine there were other things you would rather be doing on a Sunday." Zeref had to admit that living with Gramps was certainly mellowing Laxus out some. He no longer seemed as angry as Zeref remembered.

"It's fine, I never say no to free food. It'll be nice to see Pinkie and Little Bit too." Laxus said shyly.

He wished he could say the same. He was well aware that after today things would not be the same. He just hoped that it went better than he was anticipating. He gave himself one last pep talk and left the room to get into his grandfather's waiting car.

The ride to the Fullbuster's house was uneventful. Laxus and Gramps tried to engage him in conversation but soon left him alone to his thoughts when they couldn't get him to answer in anything more than monosyllables. They soon arrived and Gramps let Laxus get out of the car first so that he could talk to Zeref briefly.

"Are you ready for this?" Makarov asked his grandson worriedly.

"Not even remotely." Zeref said nervously, "They're going to hate me."

"They're not going to hate you." Makarov assured him. He closed his eyes in frustration. It was so unfair that an old coot like him could live this long but someone with as much promise as Zeref Dragneel was barely given a chance at life, just like his mother. Even she got to have love and a family though, Zeref wouldn't even get that. He felt a jolt of panic, suddenly had this uneasy feeling that telling the others would somehow accelerate the whole process and he found himself almost telling his grandson to postpone it for a few days but he knew it would be cruel to ask him to do so after he had worked himself up to it. He shook off the thought as an old man's paranoia. "We'll get through it together."

Zeref nodded and opened the car door. He got out and closed the door behind him. He waited for his grandfather and the three of them made their way to the door with Laxus awkwardly holding the flowers they had bought for Mika.

Zeref took a deep breath and told himself once again that everything was going to be alright and rang the doorbell. The door was quickly opened by Mika who ushered them inside. Laxus offered her the flowers quickly wanting to be rid of them and she took them from him with a smile.

"You must be Laxus, nice to meet you." Mika smiled pleasantly, "Welcome to our home."

"Thank you." Laxus replied looking around for his cousins.

"Zeref honey, why don't you show Laxus to the game room."

Zeref nodded and grabbed the teen, dragging him towards the loud screams that were coming from downstairs.

"Come on, it's this way." Zeref said, "I imagine they're playing video games. I doubt Natsu has left that room since he got here."

"Zeref-nii!" came a squeal somewhere from the left of the room. Zeref glanced in that direction only to be tackled by his younger sister.

"I missed you so much!" Wendy hugged her brother tightly. She quickly disentangled herself and twirled in front of him. "What do you think? Mika and Erza took me shopping yesterday."

"That looks very nice!" Zeref complimented, "Did you have fun? Wait, did you say Erza?"

Wendy nodded happily. "She came over on Friday and stayed over. I think she got in trouble with Lucy though."

"She did? How come?" Zeref asked only mildly interested. He was more amazed at the fact that Natsu had spent time with one of his old friends. He wanted to ask Wendy how that had gone but he couldn't think of how to do it without upsetting his brother. He'd have to ask her later.

"She fell asleep and forgot to go to Lucy's party." Wendy explained, "Laxus!" Wendy quickly moved to tackle her cousin next.

"Hey Little Bit!" Laxus smiled at her and ruffled her hair. Laxus didn't know what this whole brunch was about but he could easily tell something was up. His grandfather had demanded he come and said it was a family event but Zeref had seemed on edge since he woke up this morning. He looked around for Natsu but he was in the middle of some game with Gray and someone who must be his father.

"Hey Laxus, do you want to play pool with me? Natsu and Gray taught me how to play yesterday." Wendy asked eagerly.

"Sure, go get the balls and I'll rack them up."

"Hey Zeref, you want to come play with us? I could use some help against these two." Gray pointed at Silver and Natsu.

"Sure. What do I have to do?" Zeref asked. Gray taught him the controls he needed to move his characters.

"Just attack their characters and try not to die." Gray said, "If we take them out and one of us survives then we win. Easy enough?"

Zeref thought about how nice it would be if life were that easy. He saw Silver send a glare at Gray but tried to ignore it. Instead he put his game face on and said in a determined voice, "Sounds easy enough. Let's take them down."

Thirty minutes later both Silver and Natsu looked at Zeref in shock.

"For someone who hates video games as much as you do, how in the hell can you be so good at them? That's not even fair" Natsu whined.

"I never said I hated them, I said they rot your brain." Zeref chuckled and winked at his brother.

"Come on Natsu, they won fair and square." Silver said with a gleam in his eye, "How about we challenge them to something else, like pool?" Silver did not like to lose and he was very good at pool.

"How about Dragneels vs. Fullbusters?" Zeref suggested seeing the gleam in Silver's eyes and matching it with a smirk of his own. "What do you say Natsu, are you game?"

"Sure." Natsu shrugged trying to look disinterested. He had seen Silver play before and he knew that he was good but he also knew that Zeref had spent an entire summer teaching kids about reflections by showing how they related to the game of pool. He was amazing. Natsu couldn't wait to see Silver's face when he lost again.

"Loser has to do dishes?" Silver wagered.

"You're on."

A heated game began downstairs and Mika could only roll her eyes at the fact that her husband was right in the middle of it. She chuckled to herself and set about serving coffee for herself and Makarov.

"How is he doing?" Mika asked quietly mindful of the kids downstairs although in all honesty she could have been screaming at the top of her lungs and they wouldn't have heard her.

"He's Zeref. He's trying to be brave and thinking of ways to make it easier for his siblings to accept but deep down he's terrified and guilt ridden. I feel so useless in all this. I wish there was a way for me to give him some of my life so that he could live longer. How were the kids, did they give you any trouble?" Makarov sipped his coffee.

"Not at all, the weekend went better than I had hoped. I took them to the mall yesterday. I took Wendy shopping with a friend while the boys hung out. I made sure to get her the things we had discussed for your trip and some other things she needed. Silver has been trying to bond with Natsu and they seem to be getting along better. Natsu finally stopped looking at him like he was up to something sometime yesterday. Natsu and Gray have been getting along fine. All in all a nice weekend."

Makarov nodded. He was glad to hear things had gone well. He had been a little worried as to how Natsu would react to being forced to interact with Gray. He never could understand his hothead grandson, Gray seemed to be the only one of his friends that still tried to interact with him and yet Natsu insisted on pushing him away. This self inflicted isolation worried him, he had worked with kids long enough to know that it never led anywhere good. He was nervous as to how he would take Zeref's news as well. From what he had seen in his office Natsu had already toyed with self harm and that worried him most of all, especially for Wendy's sake. He had not fought over custody because he wanted to honor his daughter's wishes and he felt that here Wendy would get what she needed. Wendy would have a mother at a crucial age and loving parents but he hadn't been too sure how things would work out for Natsu, he still wasn't. The only thing he knew for sure is that they would not wish to be separated.

"The lawyer said the papers would be ready for your signatures tomorrow." Makarov informed her. Mika nodded and they sat in silence for awhile.

Back downstairs an outraged Silver was demanding a rematch but Natsu and Gray both bowed out so it became a one on one between Zeref and Silver. Everyone else watched the intense game. Both players calling and making seemingly impossible shots. Even during the intense competition Silver had been keeping an eye on his patient to try to get a feel for how he was handling the enormous stress he must be under.

"Why don't we stop, I concede." Silver said noticing that Zeref was getting tired. "You never told me you were good at pool. I would have had you over sooner, I'm always looking for a challenge." The older man grinned. "Hey kids, how about you go ask Mika how much longer until we eat. I'm starving!"

He sent all of them upstairs but stopped Zeref before he followed.

"Have you thought about what you are going to say?" Silver asked seriously.

"Yes and no. I can't really come up with anything that I think they will react well to."

"They're not going to react well, Zeref. How can you even expect them to?" Silver said, "Just go easy, you know?"

"You know, I've been meaning to tell you something for awhile." Zeref said very seriously.

"What?"

"You're bedside manner sucks." Zeref smiled wanly.

"Yeah, it's almost as good as your sense of humor." Silver agreed. He added seriously , "You can do this, kid. You have put up with a lot over the years, all of it without complaint. Just think of this as one last thing you have to endure. I think once it's over, you'll feel better. I know how much keeping it a secret has weighed on you."

Silver wrapped Zeref in a fatherly hug, "For what it's worth, I couldn't be prouder of you if you were my own son."

"Thanks, Silver. For everything, I know I don't say it enough."

Silver laughed as he ruffled Zeref's hair, "With all the crap I put you through, I don't blame you. Now let's go upstairs before they wonder where we are."

The two men made their way upstairs and joined the others at the table. Natsu and Wendy told Zeref about their weekend. Natsu begged Zeref to get them a switch, pointing out how it would be a great bonding experience for the three of them, Wendy heartily agreed. Zeref snorted and told them he'd think about it. They asked him about his weekend and he told them he'd been staying with Laxus and Gramps. Wendy and Natsu looked at each other wondering why they would have to stay at the Fullbuster's just so that Zeref could stay at their grandfather's house. That was their first hint that something was off.

Their next hint came when they were all asked to head towards the living room after Silver and Gray cleared the dishes from brunch and put them in the sink for washing later. They all sat in the Fullbuster's comfortable cheerful living room looking at each other. Wendy tried to sit in Zeref's lap but he wouldn't let her so she went to sit in between Gray and Natsu instead.

Natsu noticed that all the adults were looking at Zeref expectantly whereas Laxus and Gray looked as confused as Wendy and he did. He saw Zeref take a deep breath and clear his throat, both things he did when he was nervous. Natsu didn't know why but all of a sudden he felt like he wanted to throw up. He told himself that he was being ridiculous but the feeling would not leave him. He looked at Wendy but she just seemed to look curious. He grabbed her hand and held it causing both her and Gray to look at him oddly but he didn't care.

He remembered how oddly Zeref had been acting on Thursday, remembered him saying that he was taking the summer off, remembered the look he had seen in his eyes in Gramp's office, He also remembered how tired Zeref always looked even though he tried to hide it and how determined he seemed to be to straighten Natsu out after their father died. He played video games with them for Christ's sake! All of these things started to click together in his mind like pieces to a puzzle and before he even knew what he was doing he blurted out:

"You're dying, aren't you?"

Everyone in the room turned to stare at him in shock but he would only look at Zeref. The one tear that he saw on Zeref's face was enough of a confirmation. Suddenly he felt like he couldn't breathe and his stomach felt like it wanted to empty itself. He got up and tried to ignore Wendy's wails as he ran outside.

A/N I was going to have Zeref do his speech but then decided I liked this better. Let me know what you think.

Thank you to Leina the Fan, deboome and Eclipsing Paradise on fanfiction and emmet_child on wattpad for leaving reviews/comments on the last chapter. Your words really do encourage me to continue writing. Thank you to everyone else who has shown their support as well.


	8. Someone To Fall Back On

Disclaimer: All Fairy Tail Characters Belong to Hiro Mashima. I am not a medical expert or any kind of expert on ARVD. It is being used for literary purposes only. From what I understand most people who have this disease respond well to treatments, Zeref and Mavis have a severe case of it.

Chapter 8: Someone To Fall Back On

Natsu managed to make it outside before emptying the contents of his stomach all over the Fullbuster's back yard. He couldn't have stopped it even if he'd tried and he was still heaving, his body doubled over as it tried to empty itself of everything he had eaten.

He heard the door open behind him and tried desperately to get himself back under control. He was having trouble breathing though, it felt like he couldn't get enough air in. He tried breathing quickly in an attempt to get more air to his lungs but everything was starting to turn black.

"Are you alright?"

He heard a voice behind him. He couldn't tell right away who the voice belonged to but even as he tried to respond he found that his tongue had dried up and felt too big to fit in his mouth. He was starting to panic, he'd never felt this way before. Was something wrong with him too? He felt someone, he assumed it was the same person who had spoken to him a moment ago, put an arm on his shoulder and try to turn him around.

"Natsu? Natsu, are you ok?" Laxus asked urgently.

Natsu could hear the concern in the voice even as he couldn't make out the words themselves. He tried to calm himself down, to speak, to make this moment not be about him but his tongue was even drier now. He realized with guilt that his brother was dying and he had just rushed out of the house without saying a word.

"Pinkie, you're scaring the crap out of me right now. Say something!" Laxus finally managed to turn his cousin around and tried to comfort him by putting his arms around him.

"What are you doing?" Zeref yelled, "Get the hell away from him."

Laxus flinched at the fury that Zeref did not even try to hide. He knew he deserved it but he'd really thought that they had been making progress the last few years. He guessed he'd been wrong. He wouldn't hold it against him, he could only imagine what Zeref must be feeling at the moment.

He moved away from Natsu and said "I wasn't doing anything to him Zeref. I was just trying to see if he was ok." He looked at his older cousin sadly, "You were busy with Wendy and I was just trying to help."

Zeref pinched his nose and swore under his breath. "I know. Look, I'm sorry. I…. just please don't touch him right now. Ok?"

Laxus nodded and looked at the two brothers. "What's wrong with him?"

"I don't know, but if you really want to help can you just go get Silver please?" Zeref asked as he watched his brother continue to struggle for breath.

Laxus ran back inside already yelling for Silver.

Zeref approached his younger brother. "Natsu?"

Just as he was going to touch his brother's shoulder to get his attention Silver came running out. He took one look at Natsu and sent Zeref for a glass of water.

"Natsu, can you hear me?" Silver tried to speak calmly so as not to startle the boy. He received no response but he continued talking hoping that Natsu could hear him. "You're breathing awfully fast. I want you to try and breathe with me."

Silver tried to catch Natsu's eyes and noticed they were unfocused. "You're ok, You're most likely having a panic attack. I need you to calm down, if we can get your breathing back to normal you're going to feel a lot better."

"I want you to listen to my voice. Use it to ground yourself. I'm going to move you over here, just to the deck so we can sit down."

He gently nudged Natsu over to their deck chairs to get them away from the smell of vomit and to try to get him out of wherever he was stuck in his mind. He assumed it was ok since Natsu did not resist him. He sat him down and sat across from him. Natsu was finally looking at him. Silver smiled encouragingly.

"Good, now let's breathe together, ok?" Silver began to breathe slowly, inhaling and exhaling in an exaggerated manner. Natsu nodded slowly and tried to imitate Silver's breathing.

"That's great, you're doing great! Now, I'm just going to touch your wrist, ok? I want to feel your pulse."

He waited for Natsu to respond before he grabbed his wrist. Natsu's pulse was accelerated but nothing to really worry about. That made him feel a bit better.

"Is this the first time something like this has happened to you?" Silver asked seriously.

Natsu nodded still not trusting himself to talk. Zeref finally showed up with the glass of water and Natsu accepted it gratefully. He drank slowly, feeling his tongue rehydrate somewhat.

"Do you feel ok to talk now?" Silver asked.

"Y-yeah. I'm sorry."

"Don't be, that was a big shock. Do you want Zeref to stay out here with us or do you want him to go back inside?"

Zeref began to protest but Silver cut him off sternly, "He will be fine with whatever you decide."

"I-inside f-for now." He couldn't talk to his brother yet. It was still too fresh. There were less emotions associated with Silver and he had information Natsu needed before he talked to Zeref.

Zeref sighed unhappily but complied. He made his way inside back to Wendy,

"Do you want to talk or just sit quietly? I'm fine with either."

"A-A little of both?" Natsu said unsure.

"That's fine too. Keep drinking your water, it'll help." Silver said kindly and sat back. He was worried, he had known that Natsu was going to react badly and the fact that he'd figured it out himself made it worse in some ways. Natsu was a very smart kid, always had been and he would start to fill in the blanks very quickly. Silver was sure he would not like what he found.

He'd nagged Igneel since a few months after Mavis death about getting Natsu to see a shrink but Igneel always went on about how that was not an option due to something that had happened in the past. The problem was that Igneel never volunteered what that was and so Natsu had just gotten progressively worse, never seeming to come to terms with any of the traumatic events he had experienced. He isolated himself more and more and now, just when he seemed to be making some small progress here was one more event for him to deal with. Silver was no psychologist but he feared they had to be nearing Natsu's breaking point. Silver wasn't sure what would happen then.

"How long?" Natsu asked with a voice devoid of emotion.

"How long what?" Silver asked not quite sure what Natsu was asking.

"How long has he been sick?"

"Since he was born." Silver answered honestly.

"What? How can that be?"

Silver sighed before answering, "He was born with it, just like your mother. They both just happened to have a very bad case of the disease. Both you and Wendy have been checked over the years. Neither one of you have it."

Natsu absorbed that information. At least he didn't have to worry about Wendy getting sick. "Why didn't he tell us?"

"You'll have to ask him that yourself but I imagine he didn't want to upset you."

"Is he really dying?" Natsu asked holding on to the hope that this was some elaborate prank that was begin played on them. He knew it wasn't, Zeref would never be that cruel purposefully.

"I'm sorry. We tried everything we could find over the years but nothing worked for very long. I wish there was something more I could do." Silver said sadly.

"I don't understand any of this. If he's had it his whole life how could we not have known?" Natsu asked angrily.

" You wouldn't have noticed because he took very good care of himself. He would just have seemed tired, or he might have felt dizzy. He also tried very hard to keep it from you knowing you would worry.", Silver looked at Natsu's confused expression and tried to explain further. "I'll try to explain as simply as I can. Zeref has something called ARVD. All that means is that the muscle cells in the right ventricle of his heart die and get replaced by fat and scar tissue. This makes him have abnormal heart rhythms and disrupts his circulation. There is no cure for it. For most people they can manage their symptoms with medicines or treatments but in your brother's case the muscle has deteriorated to such a degree that none of these methods work. Now the left ventricle of his heart has become compromised as well, it leaves us with few options."

"But there are options?" Natsu pounced on the hope inferred in that statement.

"There is only one and Zeref has refused it."

"What is it?" Natsu asked.

"A heart transplant."

"A heart transplant?! Why would he refuse that?"

"His odds of surviving aren't great and he would rather spend whatever time he has left with the two of you."

"I'll talk him into it."

"I don't think that's a good idea, Natsu." Silver said seriously. "He's made up his mind and you need to respect that. You have no idea the things that he has already endured in the last few years."

Natsu was having trouble understanding any of the things that Silver was saying. His brain was just going too fast for him to hold on to any one piece of information for long. Still, he knew there were questions that needed to be asked and plans that needed to be made and he did not feel up to any of it. He just wanted to go upstairs and crawl back into bed and start the day over. Pretend none of this had ever happened. One by one all the people that were important to him kept leaving him. First his mother, then his father and now Zeref. Pretty soon he would have no one left. He tried not to focus on that one thought for too long. He felt the warmth of his tears start to spill out but then he heard Wendy's cries coming from inside and closed his eyes. He willed his tears away. His own pain was not important, it never had been. He would hide it away with the rest of his emotions that he no longer had any use for. He couldn't afford to fall apart anymore. He would be strong for her, everything would be for her. He looked at the man sitting across from him and began to ask all the questions he knew needed to be asked.

"What's going to happen to us, are we going to live with Gramps?"

"No, both of your parents wanted you to live with us and Zeref agrees. When the time comes, this will be your home. You will stay with your Grandfather for some vacations and holidays."

"Is that because of Laxus?" Natsu asked.

"Did something happen with Laxus that I should know about?" Silver asked carefully, wondering if this had something to do with Igneel's refusal to have Natsu see a psychologist. "If there is as your legal guardian I should know about it."

"I don't remember very much, Zeref probably does though."

Silver nodded filing that away for a future talk.

"Mavis and Mika were very close and the four of you have grown up together, I've always thought that Mavis wanted to make sure you all stayed together. Whatever the reason we are happy to have you. All three of you would have moved here after your father passed away but Zeref was determined to try to take care of you himself and we agreed with your grandfather that we should let him try."

Natsu asked the unavoidable question."H-how long does he have?"

"We don't know, I'm hoping he can still live a long time but the specialists we have talked to seem to feel he only has a few months left."

Natsu looked at Silver and asked "There's nothing else you can do?"

Silver sighed, "There's nothing really left to try but I haven't given up. I'll keep looking."

Silver looked at the boy in front of him and felt uneasy. He had seen a small amount of tears but then nothing. Natsu was asking all the right questions but it was too soon. It was like he had shut himself off and that was dangerous. He could only hope that Natsu would remember everything he said and eventually be able to internalize it.

"Thank you for doing this for us." Natsu said woodenly, "I'm sure it can't be easy for you. I know" he paused, " I know you don't like me very much but I promise I won't make things difficult and I won't fight with Gray anymore. I never really wanted to."

He was quiet for a few moments and then added, "And thank you for taking care of Zeref, I'm sure you tried your hardest to make him better. My mom used to say you were a fantastic doctor and my father loved you very much. I'm sure he's glad Zeref had you to fall back on after he was gone."

"What about you?" Silver asked suddenly.

Natsu looked at Silver not really understanding the question.

"Who did you have to fall back on?"

"Zeref." Natsu said simply.

Silver felt like he had been punched in the stomach at hearing Natsu's reply. Even though he expected the answer it still hit him hard. Who was Natsu going to fall back on now, himself? Gray? Mika? or would he just flounder disconnected from everyone who loved him?

"I know this might be hard for you to understand but I've never disliked you, Natsu. I actually care about you a great deal. I was angry at the choices you were making and at how those choices were affecting others around you. I was afraid of Gray getting hurt. I'm starting to see that he was right to hold on like he did. He was the only one of us to see what you needed. We all failed you." Silver sighed with frustration, "You might be surprised to hear this but just because I'm an adult doesn't mean I have all the answers. I see now that I made a mistake. I should have talked to you about it instead of blaming you. Look, you've been dealt a crappy hand, I won't argue that but Natsu you can't keep pushing everyone that wants to help you away. You can't keep ignoring your pain, it has to be dealt with for your own sake because it will not go away on its own. "

"This weekend was about giving Zeref time to figure out a way to tell you but it was also about getting you and Wendy used to us again. I think you were making a lot of progress. I saw some of the old you shine through. I can only imagine what you're thinking or feeling right now. You took a chance and you were hurt again, I can understand how scary that must be and I imagine the temptation to go back to hiding must be great but you have to fight it. All of us here want you back. Please, don't shut us out."

Natsu just stared at him, brain still racing.

"I can see you don't want to talk anymore right now but I just want to say one last thing. Don't take too long to talk to Zeref. As badly as you feel right now it does not compare to what he is feeling. He's never once complained about the fact that he's dying, he's not happy about it but he's had years to come to terms with it. All he has ever worried about is you and Wendy. He has been dreading this day for the last year and now that it's here he really needs to know that you'll be ok. He's been braver than you can imagine. So please, even if it's a lie, give him that much. You and I, we can deal with the mess after. You promised me that you would not make things difficult, it's my turn to promise you something. I will never abandon you. Whatever happens we will figure it out together. If you have no one left to fall back on, Natsu, you can fall back on me."

Silver stood up and stretched. He felt emotionally exhausted and would like nothing more than to sit out here but he needed to give Natsu some space to think about everything that had happened and everything they had talked about.

"I'm going to go check on Zeref and Wendy. Come back inside when you're ready."

Natsu nodded slowly. He sat outside for a while longer remembering happier times he had spent in this house over the years. Playdates, birthday parties, sleepovers. Life had been so simple back then. Everyone had been happy and his biggest concern had been what prank he would play on Gray next. He closed his eyes trying to see it in his mind. He felt a hand grab his and squeeze gently.

He opened his eyes slowly. To his surprise there was a blanket around his shoulders and Gray was sitting in the chair next to him holding Natsu's hand in his.

"Do you remember when I fell out of that tree and broke my arm?" Gray asked suddenly.

Natsu stared at him confused. "Sure, you were trying to get to the top of the tree before I did."

Gray laughed."That's right! I'd forgotten that part. I remember you jumping out of the tree and running inside to get my dad. You were so scared I was going to die. You made my dad take you to the emergency room with us and you refused to leave my side, even talked him into letting you stay over."

"I think that's when I realized I loved you." Gray laughed softly. He touched Natsu's face gently as he leaned over and kissed him. Natsu was too startled to respond but Gray didn't seem to mind. He sat back in his chair.

"You didn't leave me alone then and I won't leave you alone now." Gray said as he squeezed Natsu's hand again.

Natsu stared at their hands and he began to say something but he felt his body being shaken as his name was being yelled out and he followed the voice back.

"Natsu. NATSU!" Gray shook his friend awake.

Natsu opened his eyes and stared at him in shock. He looked at the chair next to him which was empty.

"What?" he said confused.

"My dad sent me out to check on you. You fell asleep, man." Gray told him. "Come on, Wendy's asking for you."

Gray offered him his hand to pull him up out of the chair but Natsu quickly scrambled out of it on his own and hurried inside. For a moment it looked like Natsu was afraid of him. The hell?

A/N Sorry, it's taken me longer than usual to post and update. We went to an anime convention this past weekend and decided to cosplay. I went as Cana, my son went as a young Gray, my daughter went as Maka from Soul Eater while my husband went as Qrow from RWBY. Let's just say my crafting/sewing skills were put to the test all of last week. It was fun, although I'm not sure if I'll do it again.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed or commented on the last chapter: EclipsingParadise, SilverWhiteDragon, deboome and SnowfallBreeze. Thank you also to everyone who let me know indirectly that you enjoy this story. It really makes me excited to continue when I know people are interested. :)


	9. I Promise

Disclaimer: All Fairy Tail Characters Belong to Hiro Mashima

Chapter 9:

Wendy and I thanked the Fullbuster's for letting us stay with them. It was incredibly awkward. Silver hugged me and asked me to think about what he'd said. I nodded at him, still surprised that he'd said that he didn't dislike me. Gray told me he would text me later but after that dream I was having trouble looking at him and I could tell that he was confused by my behavior. Mika gave everyone hugs and sent us home with enough leftovers to last us about a week.

We piled into Gramps car and he took us home. On the way he informed us that we were all going to be going on a family vacation for a week. We would be leaving on Wednesday morning and we were not allowed to bring any electronic devices so he gave me the ultimatum me that I needed to get my homework done before we left. I think he'd been planning to come inside but Laxus said he wasn't feeling well so Gramps took him back to their house instead.

I immediately headed to my room before Zeref could say anything. To his credit he decided to give me some space although I could see in his face that he was hurt by my silence. Wendy followed Zeref around like a lost puppy. He finally told her that he was tired and wanted to go to bed as the day had taken its toll on him. I'm guessing he wanted some time to himself. I could hear her asking him to let her sleep in his room but he wasn't having it. She made her way into my room ten minutes later already in her pajamas and climbed into my bed. She was asleep instantly, I'm sure she was exhausted from all the crying she had done earlier. I watched her for awhile trying to absorb that in a few months time we would be the last remaining evidence that Mavis and Igneel Dragneel had once existed on this Earth and loved each other. I missed them both so goddamn much.

I needed to get my shit together so I could take care of Wendy. I couldn't fail her again. She was falling apart and this time it was my job to keep her together. There was no one else left to do that. I wasn't sure how I was going to manage it when I couldn't even keep myself together.

I watched her sleep, watched her chest rise and fall with her breaths. I could feel my anger surging and it took all of my willpower to keep from destroying something so as not to wake her. Why the hell was this happening to us again? What had we ever done to deserve all this? What had Zeref ever done? Sure, I liked to fight with him but that was only because I knew he could take it and dish it back just as good. I loved him, it wasn't fair.

I thought about how I had behaved since our father had died and I remembered something Silver had said to me with dread.

"I was angry at the choices you were making and at how those choices were affecting others around you."

Did he mean I had made Zeref worse? Had Zeref worried so much about me that he had made his condition worse? Was Zeref dying because of what I did? I began to drown in self-hatred. I tried to tell myself that Silver had said that Zeref had always been sick and it could not have been my fault but once I had gotten that thought into my head it took hold and would not let go of me. I started to feel sick again and I headed to the bathroom before I could be sick in my room.

I passed Zeref's room and the sounds I heard coming from it made me freeze. Zeref was crying. I put my hand on his door, my sickness abated for the moment and I moved to open it but then I realized he would never want me to see him like that. Zeref had always been a private person, although I wonder now how much of that was him hiding his illness from us. I let myself fall to the floor quietly and decided to stay outside the door until he was done. I didn't want him to be alone. As I waited for him to finish, I promised myself that I would not waste anymore of the time we had left. I would be better, I would be everything he ever wanted me to be. I made so many promises to myself that night, I only hoped I would able to keep some of them. When I heard his snores I got up and got ready for bed. It was still early but we were all exhausted. I went back to my room to find a text message from Gray on my phone.

"Natsu, I'm here if you want to talk about anything."

I was going to ignore it but then thought better of it. I swiped a reply and turned off the light

"Thanks, I'm going to bed. I need for today to be over. I'll talk to you later. "

I wrapped my arms around Wendy, like I used to do with my stuffed dragon when I was younger and I fell asleep. Thankfully I did not dream.

I woke up too early, Wendy was still asleep next to me. I tried to go back to sleep but couldn't. I thought about what Gramps had said and got up quietly to sit at my desk. I opened my laptop and thought about what I was going to write for my assignment. I had promised Wendy that I would write her into a Fairy Tail story and as much as I didn't feel like going there right now I thought I needed to reassure her that I would not let her down this time.

I thought for a minute and began to type.

 _For Wendy._

 _It Takes A Village_

 _Wendy Marvell was used to being left alone for days at a time but somehow this time felt different. Even the air she breathed felt different. She looked around and could not see the cave she had lived in with Grandeeney anywhere. Where was she? How had she gotten here? Where was her dragon?_

 _The stillness around her did not do much to answer her questions. She sat and thought about the things she did know. This was not the first time she had found herself alone with no idea of where to go or what to do. That was actually how she had met the dragon Grandeeney. When she was very young Wendy had somehow found herself alone in some woods. She had been looking for someone back then._

 _She'd had vague memories of an older boy with pink hair that always made her feel warm and safe, of blonde hair that came close to her face and whispered sweet nothings tenderly, of a black haired boy with a shy smile and a tall man with a large booming laugh. She didn't know what it all meant but she thought maybe they had been her family. She had sat by a tree and cried hoping that one of the people in her memories would come and get her. Hours went by when she suddenly heard rustling in the trees. To her surprise a large creature had landed in front of her. She never thought to be scared of it, she was so glad to not be alone anymore she never even considered the creature might mean her harm. It hadn't, it introduced itself as the Sky Dragon Grandeeney and asked her what was wrong. After Wendy told her she had looked sad and offered to help her find her loved ones. She flew Wendy around for days but they were never able to find her family or anyone who had seen them. Grandeeney offered her a new life and Wendy took it. She lived with the dragon and allowed herself to be enchanted with Sky Dragon Magic. She even met a boy with pink hair who was very warm and made her feel safe but her memory was even vaguer by then and he didn't seem to recognize her at all. She was never sure if he was the right one so she never said anything but he held a special place in her heart nonetheless._

 _She realized now she would probably never see him or any of the other boys she had befriended again and that thought made her sadder than she already was. She wondered briefly if they had lost their dragons as well, if they were sitting alone and lost somewhere just like her. As sad as the thought made her it made her feel like they were still all connected somehow. Maybe they would find their way to each other someday. That thought gave her a glimmer of hope and she held onto it and let it strengthen her resolve._

 _She had no idea where she was or how she might have ended up alone in a strange place near a road. She had cried for what felt like a long time but when no one had come to help or comfort her she had realized she was truly on her own. It had scared her but there was nothing for her to do but move forward. She decided then it was time to stop crying. Crying solved nothing. She was the child of a dragon and she could still feel her magic flowing inside her. She could take care of herself until that day came. She took a first step and then another and another until she found herself on the road._

 _The road had remained empty the entire time she had been crying but she had to believe that there must be someone out there who could help her figure out what to do or where to go. She picked a direction at random and began walking aimlessly. She felt lonely once again and before she could stop herself she began to cry. Frustrated, she allowed that small weakness but did not let let it stop her. She continued to walk with determination. She didn't have long to wait before she saw a boy traveling alone. He had blue hair and a red tattoo around one of his eyes. He looked like he was lost in thought and the belongings that he carried made it seem like he had been traveling for a long time. He noticed her right away and stopped and took in her appearance._

 _"Why are you crying?", he asked with a soft kind voice._

 _Wendy tried to answer but despite her best efforts she kept crying. "She left me, she left me all alone."_

 _To her embarrassment she found herself running towards him and hugging him, holding on with a desperation that only someone who has been abandoned can truly understand. He just let her, never once making a comment about it. He hugged her back and told her that he was alone too. He had been traveling for a while and he wouldn't mind her company. That's how she met Jellal._

 _Jellal soon became her everything. He walked with her and talked with her. He found them food and shelter. At night he held her against him, keeping her warm and safe from her fears like the pink haired boy had before him, during those long meetings the dragons sometimes had. Wendy began to relax and think that everything would be alright. She had a family again and she was content. He taught her many things about living off the land as they traveled. They journeyed this way for about a month when suddenly Jellal began to act strangely. She didn't know exactly what set it off but everyday she noticed it more and more. Where Jellal had been carefree and relaxed he was now tense. He constantly looked to the sky and muttered a word she thought sounded like "Animal"._

 _Soon after, he said the words she had most been dreading. He told her they would have to part ways. His journey had become dangerous and he would not be able to continue on it and keep her safe. He would take her to a guild that was supposed to be beyond the forest they were traveling. Wendy tried to change his mind. She cried, she begged, she told him that she could help him, that she could take care of herself but no matter what she said, Jellal would not be dissuaded._

 _Wendy's world began to break down again as she was faced with being alone yet again. She quietly began to wonder what it was about her that made everyone she loved leave. What was wrong with her? Once could have been an accident, twice an unhappy coincidence but a third time? No, that clearly meant the problem lay with her. She had truly thought she had done everything right this time and as Jellal looked on with sadness he witnessed her withdrawing herself from him and everything around her. She had resigned herself to her fate._

 _Jellal hated himself for what he was doing, aware that she had already been left behind before but he could not let her continue on his journey. There was a whole world counting on him and he couldn't let them down just to save a small child. As much as he wanted to do just that. He already missed her. He tried talking to her one last time but she was no longer listening. He saw what he thought was the guild building up ahead nestled in a small village and decided to camp for the night. He would wait for her to fall asleep and then he would take her there. Deep down he knew she would be better off without him. He watched her fall asleep and put his arm around her one last time. He knew she liked that, once he was sure she was asleep he kissed her head gently and whispered, "We will meet again someday, Wendy Marvell, and if you'll let me, I promise I will make it up to you." He waited for another hour to make sure she was in a deep sleep and picked her up. He carried her all the way to the guild building, thinking less and less of himself with every step but determined to do the right thing for the little girl he had come to think of as his younger sister._

 _Wendy awoke to find herself inside a dusty building with no Jellal in sight. She saw an older man peering down at her with concern but no one else. Jellal had left her behind without even a goodbye. It hurt but she found she much preferred it this way. It felt familiar. At least this time she had not been left alone._

 _"Where am I?", she asked, "What is this place?"_

 _"Well….", the old man scratched his head trying to figure out how much to tell the small child._

 _"I see.", Wendy said disappointed, "Jellal lied, he told me he was taking me to a magic guild."_

 _"A magic guild?", the man said and after a moment became excited, "That is exactly what this is! Full of mages with every kind of magic you can imagine. They're all waiting outside to meet you!"_

 _He smiled at her. "My name is Roubaul and I am the Master of this guild. What is your name young one?"_

 _Wendy stood up. "My name is Wendy Marvell and I am a Sky Dragon Slayer."_

 _"Welcome to the Cait Shelter Guild, Wendy. You are welcome to stay here for as long as you wish. Now run outside and meet your new family."_

 _Wendy walked outside warily, not sure what to expect and too gunshy to accept this apparent windfall. She was immediately surrounded by a village's worth of people. At first she remained apart, not willing to give her heart again so willingly. After all, what was to stop them from leaving her as well? After a year had passed she finally opened her heart and began to eagerly replace her memories before Cait Shelter with new happier ones. Her only complaint was that the village did not seem to have any children for her to play with. Even though everyone in the guild was kind to her she desperately wanted a friend of her own, someone she could relate to._

 _One day she found a large egg in the forest. There was no nest that she could see and she knew if she didn't do something the creature inside was doomed to die. She picked it up in her small arms and carried it back to the guild with her. The villagers suggested different things she could do to make sure the egg would hatch and she followed them all waiting patiently to see who or rather what would make its way out of it._

 _She had many ideas of what it could be, she had been in that forest enough times to know what animals lived there but in her wildest dreams she could never have imagined that inside of her egg would be a cat. A white cat that could not only talk but also fly. Finally she had someone to play with and take care of even though most of the time the cat, who was named Carla, acted more like her mother than her friend. Wendy felt truly happy._

 _Life moved on, Master Roubaul registered Cait Shelter with the Local League of Guilds and Wendy's world began to broaden. She began to hear about the feats of amazing mages and this made her want to become stronger and to use her magic to help others. She knew that she was not very strong offensively but she was capable of lots of different support magic that could be very useful. She trained and tried to remember the lessons that Grandeeney had taught her so many years ago. Now that she could think about Grandeeney without pain, she once again began to yearn to find out what had happened to her. She began to hear of a guild in Magnolia. A guild that went by the name of Fairy Tail. It was filled with many interesting characters, a terrifying female knight that went by the name Erza Scarlet, a beautiful take over mage named Mirajane Strauss, a mage capable of molding anything out of ice, the list went on and on but to her one stood out from the rest. Fairy Tail's Fire Dragon Slayer, a boy by the name of Natsu Dragneel. The name alone ignited something in Wendy that she did not understand but she knew she had to meet him because maybe, just maybe he had the answers to the questions that had been looming in her mind since she had allowed herself to think about Grandeeney._

 _She had no idea how she was going to make this happen, Magnolia was so far away and what if he didn't want to have anything to do with her? He was a world famous mage and she was a nobody. Some months later Master Roubaul returned from a meeting with the other guilds with a request in his hand. He showed it to her and she saw that mages from Fairy Tail, Blue Pegasus and Lamia Scale had already signed on to form a coalition to go after a Dark Guild by the name of Oración Seis._

 _"Master, we should join this coalition. These are terrible people, they need to be stopped.", Wendy said._

 _"Are you sure this has nothing to do with that Fire Dragon Slayer that's representing Fairy Tail?", Roubaul teased the little girl good naturedly, "I know you have been dying to ask him about your dragon."_

 _Wendy blushed, "Well, maybe a little but if I can be of any help to them I would like to go."_

 _"I figured you'd say that so I took the liberty of signing us up as well.", Roubaul smiled, "You should collect your things quickly, they are expecting you at Worth WoodSea. Here's the address."_

 _"Just Me?", Wendy squeaked._

 _"You will be with eleven of the most capable wizards in all of Fiore, I have no doubt you will be safe.", Roubaul reassured her, "You're no slouch yourself Wendy, you just need to believe in yourself. Now go out there and make us proud."_

 _"Hai Master!", Wendy bowed and ran off to get her belongings before running off to the address on the paper._

 _When she got to the big mansion she was the last of the mages to arrive and to her great humiliation she clumsily managed to fall flat on her face in front of all of the others. She summoned all of her courage and tried to repair their first impression of her. In her most polite and grown up voice she said, "My apologies for being late. I have come all the way from the Cait Shelter Guild. My name is Wendy Marvell, it's nice to meet all of you."_

 _She felt their eyes on her as they commented on how young she was like she wasn't even there but then she heard a boy say almost as a question "Wendy, huh."_

 _The voice called to something deep inside of her, was it familiar? She tried to determine who had said it and found herself staring at a boy with pink hair. Pink hair? Why was that important? She became flustered by his gaze and looked around at the other mages._

 _"They sent a young girl by herself?", Lucy Heartfilia, the celestial mage from Fairy Tail asked._

 _"Who said she was by herself?", a regal voice sounded from the shadows of the open front door. A small white cat made it's way down the long entryway catching the attention of the other cat in the room. A blue flying cat by the name of Happy. His eyes showed only hearts as he laid eyes on the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. Unfortunately for him, the white cat did not seem to share his admiration, she looked at him haughtily and quickly dismissed his attentions._

 _"Carla, you followed me?", Wendy asked, secretly glad she had a friend with her. She was feeling very self-conscious at the moment._

 _"Of course I did, child.", Carla replied._

 _"I know I look young but I'm capable of a lot of support magic and I know I can be helpful if you'd let me.", Wendy pleaded with big eyes._

 _"What is the matter with you, Fire Breath? You look like you need to use the bathroom, or is that what passes for thinking for you?", Gray Fullbuster, Fairy Tail's ice-make mage taunted his rival Natsu Dragneel, Fairy Tail's Fire Dragon Slayer._

 _"I feel like I know that name from somewhere.", Natsu replied, ignoring the obvious taunt. There was something about this girl. All of his dragon instincts were on alert and telling him that he needed to protect her. "Can you remember her for me?"_

 _Gray looked at him in disbelief but then became thoughtful. Who was this girl and what did she mean to his friend? He wondered if Natsu could have known her before he had joined Fairy Tail, Natsu's memory had never been great and Gray knew he did not have many memories from before Makarov found him and most of them revolved around Igneel, his dragon father._

 _"Sorry, man, I can't say that I've ever seen her or heard her name, come to think of it I've never heard of her guild either.", Gray said as he looked her over one more time._

 _"My apologies for our rudeness.", Erza Scarlet, Fairy Tail's knight mage said, "We were just surprised by your age but I have no doubt that you will be an integral part of this coalition. Age is no indicator of ability and I sense great power within you. My name is Erza Scarlet and it is a pleasure to meet you."_

 _"Thank you for your kind words. The pleasure is all mine, I can't believe I get to meet you in person.", Wendy said trying to appear disaffected although she was squealing on the inside._

 _'Let me introduce you to the rest of our coalition.", she pointed to the appropriate mage as she said the names of the mages from the different guilds, ending with Fairy Tail._

 _Wendy nodded in greeting to all of them and once again saw Natsu staring at her. She wondered if now was a good time to ask him her questions. She wasn't sure if it was appropriate, she would have plenty of time. Just like that they began their mission chasing after Natsu who could not be still long enough when there was a promise of a good fight in the air._

 _Had Wendy known everything that this mission would demand from her she would have stayed home, although considering the end results it would have made things worse if she had chosen to do so. She had been forced to revive her childhood friend Jellal from a coma only to find that he did not even remember her or their time together. Before she could even try to help him remember he was taken away by the Magic Council. Then there had been Natsu, he had not had any answers to her questions but he had rescued her from the Oración Seis and as he had carried her back to their camp, his warmth had carried over to her dreams._

 _Her brain had finally put everything together. The hair, the warmth and the safety she felt in his arms. This was the boy she had known, the one that had played with her during the dragon meetings and held her against him at night. She was sure of it._

 _His friend, Gray, had come to talk to her and had mentioned that Natsu had lost a lot of his memories from before he had been found by their Master, alone in the woods seven years ago. He told her that Natsu had felt something when he had seen her. Gray didn't want to get the Fire Dragon Slayer's hopes up but he wanted to know if she remembered Natsu. She told him that she thought she did. Gray thought that she should tell Natsu. She wasn't sure how to do that though. She stared at his back and thought about it as they walked her back to her village._

 _When they arrived she wanted nothing more than to relax and introduce her new friends to her guild members but that was when fate pulled the cruelest trick it had played on her yet. Master Roubaul told her that all of the people that she had grown up with, that she had loved with all of her heart were not real. They were just illusions that he had created to keep her from being lonely when Jellal had dropped her off. She refused to believe it but the truth was right in front of her as one by one everyone she had ever allowed herself to love disappeared right in front of her eyes, until only Roubaul was left. He told her how sorry he was and how she did not need them anymore as she now had real friends beside her._

 _Wendy broke down and began to sob. Her whole world was falling apart again and she did not know if she was going to be able to return this time. She heard a voice say, "Don't cry, Wend"_

 _The voice seemed confused and unsure but it came closer to her and dear god it was so familiar. She wanted to hear more of it. She dared herself to hope and looked up. Natsu Dragneel was walking towards her with tears in his eyes as his friends looked on in confusion._

 _"Wend?", he said again not sure how he knew that is what he used to call her a long time ago. Throughout the entire mission snippets of memory tried to get his attention but he had not been able to think about what they meant since he'd been fighting almost non stop once the mission started. During the last fight when he had almost lost himself, right before he had heard Igneel's voice, he had seen it. A memory of a much younger Wendy standing next to him and looking at him with love and trust. He didn't know what it meant yet but he had his proof, he had known her before and she'd had a dragon. She must have been one of the dragon kids he'd played with during those long meetings. That explained why his dragon felt so protective around her but still he thought that was not completely right, he felt something more but he was damned if he knew what it was. It was when he had seen her sobbing that the phrase "It's ok, Na-su's here and he'll make everything all better." came into his head like he had said it many times before and that was enough to bring up another memory._

 _Two small children were walking in the woods. The older one, a pink haired boy was gently pulling the younger blue haired girl along with him as they looked for shelter. The little girl was tired and could not walk anymore and he set her down against a tree where she promptly fell asleep. The boy was tired too but it was his job to take care of her. He left her there and continued on determined to find some food for them._

 _Natsu stood there shocked, he'd had a sister! Wendy was his sister! He wasn't sure what had happened that had made him forget about her, about all of them. Maybe he'd been hurt? He couldn't remember but he had found Igneel then and he had never looked back._

 _"I'm back Wendy, after all these years we finally found each other again." Natsu hugged his little sister tightly as tears ran unabashedly down both their faces. "You're my sister."_

 _Wendy looked at him and snippets of memory returned to her as well. Pink hair, warm and made her feel safe. Check, check and check. She dared to hope and gave him a weepy smile._

 _"I'm so sorry, Wend. I got so caught up in Igneel that I forgot all about you.", Natsu whispered in her ear as he patted her hair gently. "I promise, I will never do that to you again. I will always take care of you, no matter what."_

 _She saw Roubaul smile at her one last time as he saw her reunited with her brother. He began to disappear as Wendy ran desperately trying to thank him for everything he had done for her but she was too late, he was already gone._

 _"Fairy Tail will be your new home, Wendy. I promise, you will never be alone again.", Erza Scarlet along with the rest of her team embraced the Sky Dragon Slayer, even though they were still somewhat shocked by the revelation that Natsu had a sister._

 _As they stood in front of the Fairy Tail guild Wendy waited anxiously for Natsu to kick open the doors to her new home. Hand in hand they walked through them and Wendy knew everything was going to be alright. Now that she had her brother back she was eager to embark on her new life and adventure as a full fledged Fairy Tail mage. The future had never looked brighter._

 _A/N Wend, I know that everything looks bleak right now and it feels like nothing will ever be ok again. I feel it too, but we will make it through together somehow. I promise, I will never forget about you or leave you ever again. I love you, - Na-su_

I looked it over until I was satisfied and published it to my fanfiction account. It would be there waiting for her when she woke up.

o-o

A/N Thank you to everyone who commented or reviewed on the last chapter: deboome and SilverWhiteDragon, EclipsingParadise(ish) *grin* and to anyone who let me know in any way that they enjoyed it.


	10. The Sins of the Fathers

Disclaimer: All Fairy Tail Characters Belong To Hiro Mashima

TRIGGER WARNING: Although the sexual abuse depicted is not graphic it can still be triggering. If you have been abused consider that before reading. I chose to depict it from the perspective of an observer rather than the child involved to make it a little easier to digest but it is still upsetting.

Chapter 10: The Sins of The Fathers

Zeref's phone rang disturbing him from his thoughts. He stretched his arm to grab it from his night stand and look at the caller ID, it read Silver Fullbuster, Office.

"Hello?"

"Morning, Zeref. Listen something's come up and I need to reschedule your appointment to this afternoon. Can you come at 3:00? All my other patients are in hospital today so I'll just see them earlier. We can do your tests and head to the lawyer's office from here. Sound good?" Silver said using what Zeref liked to call his doctor voice.

"Sure. That works out well for me, I have to run some errands before the trip anyway."

"Great, see you then. Bye."

Zeref went to say goodbye but Silver had already hung up. He decided to go ahead and get up and check on Wendy. He had felt bad about denying her last night but he had really needed some time to himself. He hadn't even realized how much he needed to let his emotions out until he had started crying. Wendy's wails had tore at his heart and Natsu's panic attack had scared the shit out of him. Of all the reactions he had been expecting from his younger brother that one had never even occurred to him. Seeing Laxus with his arms around Natsu while he was vulnerable had brought back feelings that he thought he had buried long ago. He was going to have to apologize to his cousin.

He knew Laxus felt bad about what he had done, hell he knew he had been as much of a victim as Natsu, probably even more so but he just couldn't forgive him. It was one more thing he would have to work on with his therapist. He really wanted to get to a place where he could offer the forgiveness he knew Laxus needed. He hoped he could get to that point before he died. If yesterday's reaction was any indicator it was going to take awhile.

He went to Wendy's room and knocked on the door. When he got no answer he opened her door and saw the room was empty. 'Of course', he thought, 'She didn't want to be alone last night, she must have stayed with Natsu.' He closed the door and headed for the room next to hers.

Once again he knocked lightly but got no response. He opened this door as well and saw Wendy and Natsu asleep on the bed, Wendy holding on to her brother in her sleep. He smiled at how sweet they looked and took a picture with his phone. He realized that they hadn't really taken many pictures since their dad died.

'That needs to change' he thought. Even though he hated being in pictures he wanted them to have many happy memories of him after he was gone. Enough to last them a lifetime. This vacation should be a good start. He thought of walks on the beach and bonfires at night, of short hikes that he should be able to handle. He added a digital camera to the list of items he needed to buy while he was out.

He saw no reason to wake them so he left a note on the refrigerator telling them he went out to run errands and to go to a doctor's appointment. They would be on their own for the day. He also reminded Natsu to not leave his homework until the last minute and that it was his turn to make dinner.

He got into his car and went to the local mall to buy the items on his list. They were going to be staying at their grandfather's beach house for a week. Their parents used to take them there every year for a big family reunion but they had not returned since their mother's death five years ago. Their family was a lot smaller now. Uncle Yuri had died the year before Mavis, and his wife had taken their kids and moved back to Alvarez to be near her own family. Uncle Ivan had gone to prison, leaving Laxus to live with Gramps. The five of them were all that was left of their family now as their father had been an only child.

It took him a couple of hours but he got everything on his list, he even picked up some items for Natsu since he knew Mika had already bought Wendy everything she needed over the weekend. He bought the digital camera, splurging on a nice one. He bought several large memory cards and a tripod as well so that they could all take pictures together. He looked at his phone and saw that it was already 2 o'clock. He hurried to the food court to get something to eat before he headed to his appointment.

He managed to get to the hospital on time and now sat in Silver's office waiting for him to finish making his rounds. He played with his phone while he waited. He heard Silver talking to someone outside and waited for the door to open.

"Oh great, Zeref you're here!" Silver smiled at him. "Can you put your gown on so we can get going on the tests?"

Zeref did as he was asked and soon Silver was listening to his heart while a nurse was drawing vials of blood. They placed him in several different machines allowing Silver different views of his heart. Once he was satisfied he told him to get dressed again. "I'd been planning on doing a stress test today but I think we can skip it."

"How are you feeling after yesterday?, Silver asked seriously, "We didn't really get a chance to talk after everything happened."

"I'm ok. I had a bit of an emotional meltdown last night but I'm better now. It didn't go the way I expected."

"No kidding, but at least it's over and done with." Silver commiserated.

"Should I be concerned about Natsu's panic attack?" Zeref asked worriedly.

"He had a shock and his body had a big stress reaction. I wouldn't worry about it too much unless it becomes a regular occurrence for him. " Silver said trying to reassure Zeref. He didn't want him to be even more stressed than he already was.

"Let's go to the lawyer and get the papers signed. Mika will meet us there." Silver said.

They left his office and climbed into Zeref's car. Silver thought about how he should bring up the topic that he was interested in but ultimately decided to be direct.

"I have something I need to ask you about Natsu." Silver said watching Zeref carefully.

"What do you want to know?" Zeref asked as he paid attention to the road..

"When we were talking about what would happen after you passed, Natsu wondered if the reason they wouldn't be living with your grandfather was because of something that happened with your cousin Laxus? He claimed he didn't remember what happened but you might."

"I don't want to talk about that." Zeref answered immediately.

"I need to know." Silver said not wanting to back down.

"Why? What good could it possibly do?" there was a trace of anger in his voice that made Silver realize that whatever this was, it was serious.

"I'm going to be his legal guardian, Zeref, if there is something going on with Laxus I need to know so I can protect him. The fact that you're hesitant to discuss it is already telling me a lot." Silver looked at him with concern, "Zeref, he's broken, If I'm going to help him I need to know all the things that could be affecting him."

Zeref remained silent but thought about Silver's words. They had arrived at the lawyer's office and parked the car. They got out and entered the building. Mika was already inside. They signed the papers that would make Silver and Mika, Wendy and Natsu's legal guardians in the event of Zeref's death or incapacitation. As they got ready to head home. Silver asked Zeref to come back to their house so they could continue talking. Zeref agreed, although he wasn't sure if it was a good idea. The conversation was headed in a direction that made him decidedly uncomfortable. It was a nice day so they chose to sit on the deck while Mika busied herself inside. Silver quickly brought up the dreaded topic again.

"Alright, let me ask you this. Your dad once told me that Natsu would not go to therapy because of something that had happened. Is that related to this?"

"You never had anything come up this morning, did you?" Zeref looked at him accusingly as he finally realized that Silver had planned this from the beginning.

"No, I didn't. I rescheduled my entire day so that I had enough time to talk to you about this." Silver admitted easily, "Don't be mad, I'm only trying to help. We can sit here and play 20 questions until I guess but I'd rather you just told me. You know you can trust me."

Zeref sat there thinking about what he wanted to say but Silver mistook his silence for animosity.

"Zeref, I made him a promise yesterday. I take those very seriously. Let me help him."

"What did you promise him?" Zeref asked surprised that Silver had gotten Natsu to talk to him.

"I promised him I'd never abandon him. That I would always be there when he needed me."

Zeref thought about his brother and how this whole mess had affected him over the years and made his decision. It was about time Natsu had someone fighting for him and he knew Silver was strong and determined, "Fine. I'll tell you, but you have to promise me that you won't force him to do anything he's not ready for. Dad already screwed him up enough."

Silver's eyes opened wide at that statement, that might very well be the first time he had heard Zeref say anything against his father.

"I'm a healer Zeref, I would never do anything to hurt anyone under my care."

"He's not your patient Silver, and like me, you might not be able to save him."

"It never stopped me from trying, did it? I never gave up on you, I still haven't." Silver retorted, stung by the reminder that he not been able to save Zeref no matter how hard he'd tried.

"I didn't mean it like…" Zeref grunted in frustration, "Dammit!, this topic puts me on edge."

He took a deep breath. This was his last chance to back out, once he started telling this story there would be no going had just signed to be become Natsu's legal guardian and when Silver took on something he did it with fervor. Zeref was an example of that, Silver was still fighting for Zeref's life where most doctors would have given up by now. He would treat Natsu and Wendy as his own children and protect them as such.

Zeref thought he finally understood why his mom had wanted her children to come here. It had never been about there being no one else, or about keeping the kids together, Mavis trusted Silver and Mika to do what she could not. Understanding that, there really was no other decision to be made. He began to tell what was both his darkest secret and biggest regret and hoped that this man could somehow find a way to fix the child they had all broken.

"You have to understand that for as much as I know, the only ones who know what really happened are Natsu and Laxus and thanks to my dad's mishandling of the situation Natsu has repressed the whole event and Laxus will not talk about it."

Silver remained quiet not wanting to interrupt Zeref now that he was opening up.

"Laxus sexually abused Natsu." Zeref paused for a moment letting Silver absorb that information before he continued.

"Are you fucking serious?" Silver growled. He wanted to believe that it was some sort of misunderstanding, that nothing that terrible could have happened to the sweet, cheerful boy that he remembered but suddenly it explained an awful lot about the changes he had seen over the years.

Zeref sighed, "I wish I wasn't. This happened about 8 years ago. You have to understand that Mom was having one of her fits and Dad was freaking out. We had been to the emergency room and Uncle Ivan had been nice enough to offer to watch Natsu and Wendy for them, while I was considered old enough to go to the hospital with them. I was used to hospitals and I honestly never cared for Ivan. When Ivan dropped them off I could tell right away that there was something wrong with Natsu. He looked like he was about ready to cry and he was desperately trying to get to Mom but Dad wouldn't let him. He was worried that Natsu would upset her so he sent him away."

"I heard him crying in his room so I went to check on him. He looked at me, waiting for me to mock him for crying but he looked off and then he just hugged me and started sobbing. I didn't know what to do so I held him. When he calmed down enough I asked him what was wrong and he looked scared. I finally got him to tell me that Laxus had made him play a game he didn't like and it had hurt."

"I became angry with him and told him that he didn't have to do everything Laxus said and that next time he wanted him to play that game to tell him no, maybe even suggest another game. If that didn't work I told him he should stand up for himself."

"He told me that he was scared of Laxus and do you know what I said?" Zeref laughed bitterly, "I told my 8 year old brother that Laxus was his cousin and that deep down he loved Natsu and would never hurt him. Even after he told me that Laxus already had."

"He started to cry again and I told him to get ready for bed. He stripped down to his underwear and I cuddled with him until he fell asleep. The more I thought about it the more I realized Natsu never told me what the game was. I looked him over and that's when I noticed the bruises. He had them on his wrists and his hips. I must have comforted him enough because he never told Mom and I had already decided to take matters into my own hands. I decided to talk to Laxus myself at school the next day. We were both in middle school then. I waited until lunch and I cornered him. He told me it was nothing and that Natsu was just being a baby but I could tell he was angry that Natsu had told. He had anger issues back then and I probably made the situation worse."

"Sometimes I wonder how much of what happened next was my fault." Zeref said with regret, "About a month later you had scheduled both Mom and I to have a lot of tests done and they once again needed someone to watch Natsu and Wendy and Ivan offered. My dad accepted and we dropped them off on the way to your office. I will never forget Natsu's face before he went inside. He was trying to be brave but I could tell he was terrified. He grabbed Wendy's hand and they walked in together."

"We returned hours later, we had already dropped Mom off at home because she wanted to get dinner started. Dad asked me to go inside and get the kids so that we could leave quickly. I knocked on the door but no one answered. It wasn't locked so I made my way inside. I called out to my uncle and he answered from his basement office. He said Wendy was still taking her nap and Natsu and Laxus were playing upstairs. He offered to take Wendy out to the car and I thanked him."

Zeref looked over at Silver to see his reaction and he wished he hadn't. Silver looked like he was going to be sick at any moment although he made no move to interrupt him.

"I started to get a bad feeling when I heard the loud music coming out of Laxus room. I knew that Natsu hated loud noises, he had very sensitive ears. I ran up the stairs and I began to hear screams and whimpers. Laxus was screaming at Natsu and calling him his little bitch and I heard a noise that sounded like a slap." Tears were coursing down Zeref's face as he told the story but it didn't seem like he was aware of it.

"I opened the door and saw Laxus trying to…. trying to…...and Natsu was bruised and bleeding like he had been beaten up and I lost it. I pulled Laxus off of him and I started hitting and screaming at him. Natsu was still whimpering and crying and once I had made sure Laxus was not getting back up I put Natsu's tattered clothes back on him. I remember saying I'm sorry over and over. I don't even know if he heard me. I picked him up and carried him outside."

"When Dad got a look at him he threw his cell phone at me and told me to call Uncle Yuri before storming into the house. He told me to tell Yuri if he did not want his brother to die by his hand he better get his ass over there immediately. I got into the car with Natsu and did as he asked. Natsu was still sobbing in my arms and at this point Wendy had woken up and when she saw Natsu bloody and crying she started doing it too and I didn't know what to do. I knew I couldn't call Mom because my father would be furious. So I held him and tried to comfort him as best I could. I talked to them, I think I tried telling them a story to distract them but I can't imagine it did any good. My mind was too horrified by what I had seen and what I had done to be able to make much sense but hearing my voice seemed to calm him down."

"There was a lot of yelling coming from the house and Uncle Yuri got there and asked me what happened. After I told him he called 911 and went inside and police cars and ambulances arrived soon after. Ivan was taken away by the police and Laxus and Natsu went in the ambulances. Yuri took Wendy home and stayed with Mom. To this day, I don't know what he told her to explain Natsu's injuries."

"Laxus mother had died some years earlier and apparently there had been some worry in the family that Ivan might have been physically abusing Laxus but no one had realized what he was really doing. Laxus was just acting out what was happening to him. That's the worst part, he was a victim too. I won't bother you with the long boring court drama, suffice it to say that Ivan went to jail and now Laxus lives with Gramps."

"Social Services and the police were already waiting for us at the hospital when the ambulance arrived and Natsu had to undergo all sorts of humiliating tests, he was interviewed and photographed as the state collected evidence. He held on to my hand through the whole thing and would scream if anyone tried to separate us. In the end both he and Laxus were forced to attend state mandated counseling. Natsu seemed a bit better after a while. He became more attached to me and distanced himself from my dad. I don't blame him, after the trial was over Dad acted like none of it had happened. You should know there is an injunction in place until Natsu turns 18. Laxus and Natsu are not to be left alone together."

"I don't understand, I thought you said that Natsu had repressed the whole thing." Silver looked at him confused but Zeref could see the anger glinting in the man's eyes.

"I'm not done yet. This is the part that my father bungled horribly." Zeref tried to contain his anger. It was past and nothing could be done to fix it. It would also be the hardest one to explain to Silver. "A couple of years later Natsu was here hanging out with Gray. They were sitting out in the deck chairs. When Dad came to pick him up he caught them kissing. I only know that because Natsu told me before he was whisked off to some camp. We didn't see him for about a month and when he returned he appeared to have no recollection of what happened. The topic was never brought up again in our house."

"I discussed this with my father years later because I couldn't understand why he had reacted the way he had. He told me that when he saw the two of them kissing he thought that Natsu was trying to abuse Gray and he panicked. When Natsu came back so different he immediately regretted what he had done but he didn't know how to fix it so he left it alone. He left Natsu alone, every single goddamned time." Zeref's fury was back. The last time he had discussed all of this had been in his own therapy several years ago. When it had happened he had put all of his energy into being there for his brother, he hadn't given much thought to how the events had impacted him or how much anger he had pent up against his father. He focused on some of the exercises he had learned to calm himself back down.

"Gray and Natsu were kissing?" Silver asked with surprise. He didn't exactly see that one coming.

"That's what Natsu told me then."

"Why didn't I know about any of this?" Silver said, angered by the thought that something involving his son had happened at his house and he had been none the wiser.

Zeref shrugged. "I don't know. Igneel thought he had taken care of the problem and I imagine Gray didn't want you to know what happened, not to mention Igneel could be terrifying when he was on the warpath."

"What camp did he send him to?" Silver asked.

"I have no idea, Dad said it was supposed to be some kind of intense therapy, he got the details from a friend. My therapist thinks Natsu was sent to some kind of conversion camp."

"I don't…..ugh… " Silver yelled, "GRAY, get up here now!"

Gray came outside not knowing what to expect. His dad seemed pissed at him but he didn't think he'd done anything to warrant it.

"Hey Dad, uhm what is it?" he asked nervously. He was even more confused when he saw Zeref.

"Oh, hey man." Gray said a little uncomfortably. What on Earth could he have done that Zeref would be here?

"I'm not mad at you, ok?" Silver said as he saw the tension in his son and tried to calm himself down, "I just need to ask you something."

"Ok?" Gray replied, still wondering what this was all about.

"Did you kiss Natsu?" Silver asked.

"What? No!" Gray sputtered, "Did he say I did?"

"Six years ago, you didn't kiss Natsu on this deck?" Zeref asked.

"Oh that!" Gray chuckled nervously, "Yeah, that was a long time ago."

"Did he force you to kiss him?" Silver asked.

"No, it was my idea." Gray admitted, a little embarrassed.

"Why?"

"It's stupid. I was 11 and all the kids in our class were starting to and you and Mom were always going on about how a first kiss should be special and should be shared with someone you loved." Gray shrugged, "Natsu was my best friend and I loved him so I chose him."

Silver had to admit that sounded very much like 11 year old logic. What could he say to that? It was kind of sweet in a way.

"What happened after you kissed him?" Silver asked, keeping his voice even to avoid spooking his son.

"We kissed a few times." Gray admitted, "Igneel came to pick him up and saw us. He was furious. He grabbed Natsu's arm and yanked him out of the chair as he screamed at him. When Natsu started to cry Igneel dragged him away."

"Why didn't you tell us anything about this?" Silver asked as calmly as he could.

"Well, the way Igneel reacted I thought we had done something wrong. I was terrified for like a week." Gray said, "I lived in dread of the phone. I thought Igneel was going to call you, but he never did. I didn't see Natsu for the rest of the summer and when I saw him back in school he never brought it up so I didn't either."

"Why are you asking me this now?" Gray asked puzzled. He hadn't thought about that in years.

"Zeref just mentioned that Igneel had told him about it and I was just surprised that I didn't know." Silver answered, "We need to have a conversation later, but you can go now."

"Yes, sir." Gray said and went back inside relieved that the interrogation was over.

"No wonder Natsu lost it after Mavis died, Igneel was a freaking moron when it came to him. That's it! I need a drink." Silver said, "I'm in way over my head here.I didn't realize his issues ran so deep. Jesus! I don't know much about psychology other than the courses I took in college."

He went inside and got two beers. He opened them and brought them back outside with him.

"Happy Birthday, you just turned 21." Silver said as he handed Zeref a beer.

Zeref looked surprised but accepted the drink.

"If I catch you doing this without me I will skin you alive." Silver growled.

"Yes, sir." Zeref gulped. He took a sip of his beer and made a face at the bitterness, all in all slightly disappointing but he would drink the whole thing anyway. Just in case he never had the chance to drink another one.

"I don't even know where to start." Silver said, "I guess first off, I can see you blame yourself for what happened but none of it was your fault, Zeref. You were 12 years old, you weren't supposed to know what to do in that situation and when the time came you protected him as best you could. All the adults involved in this failed miserably. I wish you would have come to me. I'm so mad at your father right now! I don't care how ill you guys were how the hell could he have screwed up so badly?"

"I wish I could believe you. The fact is, I was the only one who knew something had happened and I still let him go in that house." Zeref said with remorse, "I failed him the worst of all."

Silver did not agree with that but decided not to argue the point. "I don't think you guys should go on that vacation. Natsu had a panic attack yesterday, he's vulnerable and I'm worried that being around Laxus while in that state might trigger something."

"I thought you said the panic attack was nothing to worry about." Zeref said.

"In and of itself it isn't but that's before I knew all this." Silver said, "I'm going to need to make some phone calls. Ask around discreetly, I know a few psychologists at the hospital, maybe they can talk to him or direct me to someone who is good with teenagers."

"He won't go to them, I've tried." Zeref reminded him, "The last time I forced him to go to one he sat there for multiple sessions without saying a word the entire time."

"Well, maybe they can just help me talk to him." Silver said with frustration, "We've got to do something."

"I think we should go on the vacation, they need something to take their minds off of yesterday and the beach should be good for that. I'll keep him away from Laxus. Hell, I'll even ask Laxus to stay away from him." Zeref said not wanting to give up on the vacation memories he had envisioned for them that morning.

"I don't think that's what your grandfather has in mind." Silver pointed out.

"Look, when Gramps first suggested it I thought it was a mistake but now I think he's on to something." Zeref said.

"I hope you're right, for all your sakes." Silver said with unease.

"How much do you think Mavis knew?" Silver asked and took a swig from his beer.

"When it happened, I thought she didn't know anything." Zeref said, "Now that I'm older I find that hard to believe. She was too smart for that, I think she never brought it up to appease my father but the more I think about the way she was with Natsu the more I'm convinced she knew everything. She was the only one who could get through to him, I think that's why he was so lost after she died. From what I remember the only people he would even allow near him at the time were Wendy and Gray."

"Those two have always been close." Silver said. He felt guilty when he thought that just last week he had been wanting to separate them for good. What a colossal mistake that would have been! He marveled at the fact that in his childhood innocence Gray had chosen Natsu as his first kiss. He thought with a smile that Mavis would have gotten a kick out of that.

He wished she was still around. She'd been such a good friend to all of them. There were still days when he missed talking to her. They'd had such amazing conversations.

"When he was little, Mom used to tell Natsu that Gray would take naps on her pregnant belly when he was an infant. She liked to say that they were connected even then."

"That's actually true you know." Silver remembered fondly, "Mika has a picture of that somewhere, she always thought it was adorable."

They finished their beers in silence, each lost in their own thoughts and regrets.

A/N I promise this is the worst that happened to Natsu. I know it will upset some of you , as it should. Just remember that we are going to now work on getting him better, back to the Natsu we all love. He has to get to a point where he wants help and he is not there yet. This will not be the last mention of these events.

I'd be happy to know what you think. This was not an easy chapter to write.


	11. I Want To Help You, But I Don't Know How

Disclaimer: All Fairy Tail characters belong to Hiro Mashima

Chapter 11: I Want To Help You, But I Don't Know How

Wendy awoke to find herself alone in Natsu's room. She got up quickly not liking the feeling. She walked out of the room and saw Zeref's door was open. She peered inside but it too was empty. She heard noises coming from the kitchen and made her way there. She saw Natsu, busy trying to make what appeared to be breakfast. He didn't seem to be having much luck if the mess surrounding him was any indication.

Natsu noticed her and gave her a helpless look. He was covered in ingredients, flour covered his hair and his shirt along with bits and pieces of other things that Wendy did not care to identify. Wendy giggled at him and asked, "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like? I'm trying to make you breakfast." he groused, "I just forgot that I'm not very good at it."

Wendy laughed at how pathetic Natsu looked and grabbed an apron to put on over her pajamas. "Why don't I help you then? Maybe we can figure it out together."

"What were you trying to make?" Wendy asked curiously looking at the messy kitchen.

"Well, first I tried to make pancakes but I got distracted and kind of burnt them all." Natsu said sheepishly, "Then I remembered you liked it when Mom made you oatmeal from scratch so I tried that but I guess I must have set the temperature to high because it all stuck to the bottom of the pan. I was about to move on to eggs."

Wendy sighed, "Let's just clean up this mess first. If we wait too long everything will be that much harder to clean."

Natsu agreed and they set about cleaning up the enormous mess he had made.

"Where's Zeref?" Wendy asked as she wiped down the counters.

"He said we're on our own for today. He had a bunch of errands to run and a doctor's appointment." Natsu shrugged and pointed at the note that was still on the refrigerator door. He had been relieved when he'd found it as it gave him a little more time to think about everything.

"We are so ordering pizza for dinner tonight, I don't think the kitchen can handle another one of you attempts at cooking." Wendy teased her brother before becoming serious. "Natsu, what happened to you yesterday?"

"Silver said I had a panic attack, nothing to worry about." Natsu smiled at his sister trying to assuage her fears. "I'm sorry if I scared you. He also said that neither of us have what Mom and Zeref do, so you don't have to worry, ok?"

Wendy nodded, that was nice to know although it didn't change Zeref's situation any. She looked at the ground before asking "Natsu, what's going to happen to us?"

"Silver said we will go live with them." Natsu tried to make his voice sound reassuring even though he was still a little wary of trusting the change that had seemed to come over Silver in the last few days.

"Oh. I guess that's good, right?" Wendy asked not sure how she was supposed to feel about it. On the one hand she loved the Fullbusters dearly but on the other she felt uncomfortable with the idea of replacing her parents.

"Yes Wendy, that's good." Natsu said as he patted her hair, "They're nice people and Mom and Dad trusted them to take care of us."

"But they're gone." Wendy wailed, "And now Zeref is going to go too! It's not fair!"

"I know, sweetheart. Even though he's a pain in the ass most of the time, I don't want him to go either." Natsu gave Wendy a small smile. He wrapped her in an embrace and let her cry as he tried to comfort her as best he could.

He remembered Silver's words from the previous afternoon

" _All he has ever worried about is you and Wendy. He has been dreading this day for the last year and now that it's here he really needs to know that you'll be ok. He's been braver than you can imagine. So please, even if it's a lie, give him that much."_

He let her cry for a few more minutes before he kissed the top of her head and gently pushed her away from him. "Hey, let's not cry anymore, ok? Zeref's still here, let's work on making the most of the time we have left with him. There will be plenty of time to cry after he's gone."

"I'll try." Wendy sniffled as she tried unsuccessfully to remember when Natsu had cried. "Can I hug you for a little longer?"

"You can hug me for as long as you need to Wend, I'm not going anywhere. I will be right here for you whenever you need me."

After awhile Wendy let go of him and they finished cleaning up the last of the mess. Neither one of them was really hungry by that point so they each settled for a bowl of cereal with milk.

"What would you like to do today?" Natsu asked his sister. "It's the first day of summer vacation."

'Can we look at old pictures?" Wendy asked hopefully.

"I don't think that's a good idea, not today." Natsu replied quickly, "You're already upset enough as it is. Why don't we get out of the house instead? We can walk around and maybe get some ice cream later?"

"I miss them." Wendy said quietly, eyes once again brimming with tears.

Natsu sighed in defeat when he realized she wasn't going to give up easily. "I miss them too. Why don't we go buy some flowers and go visit them?"

Wendy went into her room to get changed while Natsu took a shower to clean up from his failed attempt at cooking. He was ready before she was so he sat on the couch to wait. When she finally came out she was crying once again and she ran at him and hugged him tightly.

"I just read your story." Wendy said in between sobs. "Thank you."

"I mean it." Natsu said seriously as his sister continued to squeeze the air out of him. "No matter what happens, I won't leave you again."

She finally let go and they left the house hand in hand. They stopped at the flower shop on their way to the cemetery where their parents were buried.

o-o

After Zeref left, Silver went back inside. He found Mika in the kitchen making dinner and as he stood behind her he wrapped his arms around her and placed his head on her shoulder.

"Hey, hon. How did everything go with Zeref? Did you find out what you wanted?" Mika asked absently as she continued to put the ingredients together for their meal.

"Yeah, he told me what I needed to know." Silver answered not wanting to discuss it with her yet. He still had not really wrapped his head around what he had been told. He needed to do research, needed to understand the situation better. "Hey listen, what would you think about my taking a year off from the hospital?"

"A year off? What are you talking about? We're starting construction next week, we can't afford to do that." Mika turned around and looked up at her husband. "What's going on?"

"I got a call a few days ago from the medical school. They have a professor who is taking a sabbatical for a year and they need someone to take his place until he returns. I had been planning on turning it down but now I think it might be a good idea. The pay would be a little less but I would have more regular hours and I wouldn't have to be on call. I could still treat Zeref and I'd be around more for Natsu, Wendy and Gray... after." He couldn't bring himself to say that Zeref would die soon, it felt like giving up and he wasn't quite ready to do that yet.

"Are you sure that's what you want to do? You love working at the hospital." Mika asked with concern. "You've been working towards Chief of Cardiology, won't this hurt your chances?"

"I can always go back to the hospital at the end of the school year and I'll still have privileges there." Silver shrugged. "I think our family is more important at the moment and to be honest I think I'm going to need it as well."

Mika smiled at her husband and hugged him tightly. "I love you, Silver. I know this whole situation has been hard on you but I'm proud of how you've been handling it. You should do whatever you think is right, I'll support whatever you decide."

Silver smiled at her, "Thanks. I'll talk to the hospital and the medical school tomorrow." He added seriously, "I think it's time we tell Gray what's going to happen. It affects him too."

"You're right, we'll tell him at dinner." Mika said and Silver nodded in agreement although he was anything but hungry at the moment.

"I'm going to go do some work on the computer, call me when dinner's ready." He kissed his wife and made his way to the basement where a small area of the game room had been set aside for work or the occasional playing of board games. There was a large table with drawers for writing supplies as well as art supplies for Gray, although these days he preferred to do everything digital. Silver reminded himself to look at Gray's devianart account to check out what he had been working on lately. Both he and Mika were very proud of Gray's talent and they hoped whatever he decided to study allowed him to incorporate his love of art.

Silver looked around for his son but he was not there at the moment. He grabbed his laptop from his charging dock and opened up a search window. He plugged in child on child sexual abuse and began to filter through the results. Twenty minutes later he got up and got himself another beer just to be able to walk away from what he'd read and to prepare himself for the next step. He drank his beer and thought about some of the things he'd read. His anger towards Igneel had grown the more he read. He could have stopped it, if he had just talked to Natsu that first day instead of sending him away and leaving him to fend for himself.

He looked up conversion camps next. Page after page describing the horrible acts that were committed in these places. They were parent sponsored modern day torture chambers claiming to be able to fix something that was never really broken in the first place and Natsu had only been ten when he had been sent to one. What must he have thought to find himself there alone? How many of the awful things that Silver had read about had been done to Natsu? What could have happened to cause him to forget everything? Silver felt a sudden jolt of pain and noticed with surprise that his fists were clenched tight enough for the nails to almost break the skin.

He turned off the computer and made his way outside to try to calm himself down before Mika or Gray noticed how upset he was. He made the decision then to not tell Mika about what had been done to Natsu. He would shoulder that burden on his own and try his best to help Natsu through it when he was ready.

He walked around the backyard until his eyes fell on the punching bag he had hung up for Gray from one of the trees. He unbuttoned his work shirt and hung it up on a different branch. He found some tape and used it to wrap his hands. He let all of his anger at Igneel flow out through his fists and onto the bag as he pelted it with hit after hit.

'You stupid bastard!' Silver thought as he punched the bag using a combination of cross punches.

'Why didn't you ask for help?' - Left hook.

'I would have helped you! ' - Right hook.

'How could you do that to your own son?'

Jabs, uppercuts, front punches. He used them all, after a while he was able to release most of his negative feelings and get himself into some semblance of calm. He held the punching bag with one arm as he tried to catch his breath.

"Dad?"

Silver turned to see Gray coming out the sliding door of the basement. "What's up?"

"Is everything ok?" Gray looked at his dad with concern. His mother had sent him to tell his father that dinner was ready.

"Yeah, everything's fine." Silver assured him, "Just getting out some excess energy.

Silver smiled at his only son and ruffled his hair playfully. He threw some mock punches and then pulled Gray into a tight hug and said "I love you kiddo." before letting go. "Is dinner ready?'

Gray nodded a little surprised by the unexpected affection, he knew his dad was a hugger but he'd thought he was in trouble earlier. He couldn't help but feel that something was going on with his dad and that it had something to do with the Dragneels.

Silver grabbed his shirt and put it back on as he followed Gray back towards the house. They entered through the sliding door on the deck and once they were all sitting down at the table he said, "Gray, there's something we need to tell you."

Gray's forkful of food stopped in midair as he looked at his parents nervously. He could hear the seriousness in his father's tone and felt the tension begin to build in his muscles as he waited to hear what this was about.

"When the time comes, Natsu and Wendy will come live with us and we will all have to do our best to help them through what will be a very difficult time."

o-o

A/N I'm so sorry, I have held on to this chapter for weeks. I wanted to include Gray's reaction to the whole situation but he is being an elusive bastard at the moment and I feel guilty continuing to wait to figure this out. You have no idea how many times I wrote and rewrote his part only to be disappointed with my efforts. There's just no sense in trying to force it. I don't want you to think that I have given up on this story, I haven't at all. In fact I have a lot of things that I want to have happen and I would like to get started on the vacation chapters ASAP. A good amount of stuff should start happening there. Gray's reaction can wait, it's not like he's going anywhere.

I think I will probably work on this story for awhile, I have spent way too much time on To Save A Dragon lately, especially considering the complete and utter lack of feedback I've received on it. I was pretty proud of the last chapter too, oh well. So it goes I suppose. Of course as I write this someone just favorited it. Typical.


	12. Uneasiness

Disclaimer: All Fairy Tail Characters Belong to Hiro Mashima

Chapter 12: Uneasiness

Zeref had returned late Monday night and gone straight to bed. Natsu had heard him come in as he lay awake in his room trying to make sense of that strange dream he'd had about Gray. Wendy was already fast asleep beside him. He'd been surprised when Zeref had not come in to wish them good night but he decided not to worry about it. They'd be spending plenty of time together soon enough.

Natsu and Wendy were not sure what to expect the following morning but Zeref emerged from his room as if nothing had happened. He set about making sure they all had everything they needed for their trip and he tossed Natsu a bag with the items he had purchased for him.

Natsu grabbed his new swimsuit, sunglasses and sandals. "Thanks, I hadn't realized that my old suit didn't fit anymore."

"I'm surprised you could even find your old suit in that disaster area you call your room." Zeref teased lightly.

"Hey, it's not that bad. I know where everything is." Natsu protested.

"Give it up, Natsu. It's like an archaeological dig in there." Wendy added. She turned towards Zeref and asked "Do we really have to leave all our electronics behind?"

"Yep, Gramps wants us to actually spend time together as a family." Zeref confirmed. "Of course, *I* still get to bring my phone." He smirked as he lorded it over them.

"What?! No fair. How come you get to?" both teens yelled.

"Silver was adamant about my being able to get in touch with him if I needed to." Zeref said managing to somehow look sheepish.

"Bullshit, you probably asked him to say that." Natsu grumbled. It's not like he used the damn thing that often anyway but he was a teenager and he felt naked without its reassuring weight in his pocket.

They continued packing, setting aside the things that would need to be washed, which in Natsu's case was almost everything.

"Hey Zeref?" Natsu called out to his brother nervously, not sure how to ask what he wanted to know.

"What's up?" Zeref stopped fiddling with the box for the camera he had bought and looked at his brother.

"What's Silver really like?"

"What kind of question is that? You've known him your whole life." Zeref reminded him.

"Yeah, but just last week he hated my guts and told me to stay away from Gray and now he's being all nice to me and I just can't tell which one is the real one."

Zeref chuckled a little even as he knew Natsu was being perfectly serious. "Both. He's a hardass but he's also a very caring person. He cares about you Natsu, how could he not? You and Gray have always been inseparable. He just didn't know how to deal with the two of you pounding the crap out of each other on a regular basis."

"My turn, can I ask you something?" Zeref asked seriously.

"What do you want to know?"

"Why were you and Gray fighting so much this year?"

"I don't know." Natsu shrugged, "It was usually him that started it."

Zeref was quiet for a minute as he considered the implications of that until he hit upon what he felt made the most sense. "Do you think it's possible that he was hurt that you pretty much blew him off ever since Dad died?"

"That's not true!" Natsu protested even though he knew that it also wasn't exactly false.

"Isn't it? How many times has he been over since we moved to this house? Or any of your other friends for that matter."

Natsu looked down knowing damn well that the answer was zero.

"Something to think about." Zeref went back to his box not wanting to push Natsu too far. "Can you get me that bag over there?"

Wendy rushed to get the bag that Zeref was pointing at seeing as Natsu had drifted off into his own world.

"You bought a camera?" Wendy asked noticing the item that Zeref had in his hands. "You hate pictures."

Zeref shrugged. "I thought it would be nice to take some pictures on our trip. It's been awhile since we've been to the beach house." He got what he wanted out of the bag and began to fight with the packaging on the memory cards. He managed to get one open and pushed it inside of the camera along with the battery. He turned the camera on and pushed on a few buttons before finally focusing it on Wendy.

"Smile."

Wendy stuck her tongue out and giggled when Zeref snapped the picture. "No fair! Take another one."

"Nope, I'm going to go put that on my phone as my new background." He got up from the sofa he was sitting on and walked off towards his room with the camera strapped around his neck to get his laptop. Wendy followed after him and he began to race up the stairs grinning like an idiot as he heard her running behind him, getting closer every second as she chased after him squealing and giggling. The pain in his chest hit as he got to the last step. He reached his room and gripped the door frame weakly as his heart sped up and he began to pant for breath. He doubled over in pain.

"Zeref!" Wendy screamed in panic causing Natsu to run upstairs as well.

"What's wrong, are you ok?" Natsu asked his brother nervously.

"I-I'm fine." Zeref panted out. "I just forgot to take my medicine this morning."

Natsu ran into Zeref's bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. "Which one?" There were a lot of bottles in there. He listened as Zeref breathily spouted out the name of the medicine he wanted. Natsu grabbed it and filled a glass with tap water from the bathroom sink and brought them over to his brother.

Zeref took his medicine and sat on his bed. His heart was slowing down and he was able to take in the panicked expressions on his sibling's faces. "Will you both stop looking at me like that! I'm fine. I'm just a little tired."

"You can have that picture as your background, I don't mind. I'm sorry I chased you." Wendy said with glistening eyes and a guilt tinged voice.

"Stop it, Wendy! I was having fun playing around with you." Zeref lay down on his bed frustrated with himself. He had forgotten to take his medicine that morning because he had still been thinking about his conversation with Silver the previous evening. He had miscalculated what he could do and now he had inadvertently scared them. All these years of hiding it and he'd blown it the first day they'd spent time together since learning about his illness. He would have to be on top of all his medications or he could kiss his memory filled vacation goodbye. They'd be too scared to let him do anything.

He patted the space next to him on the bed. Wendy quickly lay down next to him and placed her head on his chest as he wrapped his arm around her. He looked up to see Natsu watching them and to his surprise his brother looked wistful. Zeref rolled his eyes and gestured for Natsu to lay down on the other side of him. He immediately did so resting his head on Zeref's shoulder. They spent the rest of the day watching movies on Netflix in Zeref's bed as Wendy and Natsu held on to him tightly.

o-o

The beach house was located in the town of Akane Beach. It had been built by Makarov's father and was one of the few residences that remained since the resort had opened for business. It was large and even though it sat on its own private beach they would be able to see the large resort and amusement park that made the town so popular with tourists. Most of the town had been revamped to incorporate a boardwalk and a lot of the old homes had been demolished to make way for a bustling beach market full of businesses selling just about anything anyone could want. There were plenty of food stands, shops full of fashionable clothes in vibrant colors, jewelry stands, souvenirs and face painters among others. There was also a large arcade with an attached mini golf course.

The drive had been long but it had been cheerful enough. They had talked about different things they remembered from previous visits or things they were looking forward to doing again. To their great excitement Makarov had informed them that the amusement park had just added a water park. They quieted down when they were finally able to see the house in the distance.

The house held a lot of bittersweet memories of past reunions for all of them. Every year Igneel and Yuri would attempt to grill lunch for everyone and bicker amongst themselves until the food invariably burned while Makarov and Ivan laughed at them in the background. Mavis would take all the kids on nature walks. She would show them all the different animals and plants they came across and teach them something about each one. Then she would lead them back to the beach and let them play and collect seashells while she sat on the sand and watched. Makarov would take all his grandchildren to the amusement park so his children could have some alone time with their spouses. At night Igneel would let Natsu, Zeref and Laxus help build a gigantic bonfire they would sit around as they had a clambake and s'mores for dessert. Everyone would sit together, Yuri would pull out his guitar and Aunt Celia would make up silly songs that would have them all laughing while Ivan and Laxus watched her adoringly. Once that was over the kids would run inside to change into their PJ's so Mavis could tell stories until the first kid fell asleep, it was usually Wendy as she was the youngest. They would all go inside and get into their beds while the adults cleaned up and put out the fire. If he closed his eyes Zeref could visualize them all in his mind. His heart ached again, this time from the loss of all those people he had loved, Aunt Celia, Yuri, Mavis and Igneel. His family, all gone too soon.

They all got out of the car and stood in front of the house that they remembered from happier times. Even though Gramps still brought Laxus every year Zeref, Natsu and Wendy had not been there in a long time. Igneel had not wanted to return claiming it was too painful for him to be there without Mavis, Zeref had always thought there was a different reason to the refusal. He thought it more likely that Igneel did not like the reminder of his mistake.

The last time the Dragneels had come to the beach house Natsu had not been with them and Igneel had been forced to leave unexpectedly to pick him up from the mysterious camp he had been sent to. Zeref didn't have many details on what had happened but he knew things had quickly gone downhill from there. Mavis, Zeref and Wendy had returned home a few days later to find an eerily subdued Natsu who seemed to have no memory of even attending the camp. Mavis had been furious. She had already been unhappy that Igneel had sent Natsu to a sleepaway camp in the first place, especially without consulting her. It was the first time Zeref and Wendy had ever seen their parents fight. Zeref wasn't sure what was more disconcerting the fact that his parents were fighting or the blank look on Natsu's face as he watched them.

It had been Gray and Natsu's fondest wish to go to sleepaway camp together ever since they had found a brochure in Zeref's room. It had talked about all the different activities the camp offered. Things like archery, swimming, horseback riding and rock climbing. All they could talk about was how fun it would be to do nothing but compete against each other for a whole month so they could finally decide who was the best once and for all. They had begged and pleaded since they were 7 and 8 but both sets of parents had been against the idea so Mavis could not understand what had caused Igneel to change his mind.

Zeref cursed under his breath, ever since he'd told Silver about Natsu he couldn't seem to get the situation out of his mind. Even though he knew from what his therapist told him that whatever had happened to his brother had to have been stressful enough for his brain to try to protect him Zeref found that he sometimes envied Natsu, he was able to live blissfully ignorant of what had happened while Zeref carried the guilt of both his actions and inaction.

He was startled out of his train of thought by Wendy. He looked at her blankly not having heard anything she had said.

"You weren't even listening to me!" Wendy whined.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I asked if we could go to the amusement park today." Wendy looked at her brother hopefully.

Zeref immediately shook his head. "It's too late for that today but if you guys take your things inside we can go explore for a bit before dinner."

He went to get his things from the car only to see Natsu already carrying them inside to their room along with his own bags. He smiled and followed Wendy into the house. They had decided to stay in the room all three had shared as children even though there were plenty of rooms available. It was a large room containing two sets of full on full bunk beds as well as its own full bathroom. Natsu put Zeref's bags on one of the bottom bunks and placed his on the top one. He climbed up the ladder and lay down for a few minutes.

When Gramps had arrived to pick them up that morning he had begun to feel out of sorts. He couldn't even explain it, he felt uneasy in his own body but he didn't understand why. It was almost like a buzzing in his head or like that feeling of bugs crawling over your skin. He remained quiet for most of the ride content to listen to the others talk about their memories. He didn't really have anything to add but he didn't think anyone noticed he was quiet or maybe they were just used to him not talking as much anymore and left him alone. He needed to shake off this feeling if either of his siblings noticed they would get on his case. He closed his eyes and tried to take a nap. Maybe he was just tired. It had been a rather stressful couple of days.

"Oh no you don't!" Natsu heard as he felt a pillow hit him in the face followed by giggles.

"What the hell, Wend?" he complained.

"Get up," Wendy demanded, "Zeref said we could go explore the town while Gramps and Laxus go to the grocery store. Unless, you'd rather go to the grocery store with them?"

"I'm up, I'm up." Natsu sat up quickly to show her. There was no way he was going to the grocery store, especially with Gramps, he took forever and the grocery store was not the most exciting place. He rubbed his eyes and climbed down the ladder. That feeling was still there but he tried to ignore it as best he could.

Laxus and Gramps dropped them off at the Boardwalk on the way to the store. They would walk back when they were ready. They looked around marveling at the sheer number of people around them. They walked towards the amusement park, Wendy had wanted to check their hours of operation so they could return the next day. They didn't see any signs so Zeref and Wendy made their way to the ticket counter while Natsu observed some of the rides with interest. The ticket counter was being manned by a guy who looked to be about Zeref's age.

"Just tickets for the two of you?" he asked Zeref. He had long green hair and blue eyes and he was wearing a long sleeved white shirt under the red t-shirt that was the uniform for all park employees. His expression was kind and he patiently waited for them to answer even though a line had begun to form behind them.

"Uhm no, there's actually three of us." Zeref pointed to his brother who was headed in their direction. "Could we purchase tickets for tomorrow now?"

The green haired man was openly staring at Natsu with an expression that Zeref could not interpret. He finally shook his head and seemed to remember what he was doing. "Uhm, yeah. It should save you the line tomorrow. We open at 9AM."

"Alright, give me 4 tickets for tomorrow." Wendy nodded knowingly at Zeref's words. They should invite Laxus to come with them.

Zeref paid for the tickets with his credit card and put them away in his wallet. He watched Natsu's reaction as he gave the green haired man a cursory glance. He didn't see any recognition on Natsu's part so he decided the man must have been surprised at Natsu's hair color. Seriously, the guy's hair was green who was he to judge?

"If you can't make it tomorrow the tickets are good for any day this summer season." the attendant informed them.

They thanked him and waved as they walked away. They decided to go check out the arcade next.

"Natsu?" The green haired man whispered as he watched the pink haired boy walk away with the others. He wiped at his teary eyes. "Is that really you?" He looked around for his brother hoping he could cover for him for a few minutes. He needed a break to get himself back under control.

Natsu walked with his siblings trying to feign interest in the sights. His unease had risen since they had left the amusement park. He wasn't sure what had set him off but he wanted to go back to the house.

"Hey, do you guys mind if I head back, I'm feeling kind of tired."

"Are you feeling ok? You were pretty quiet in the car." Zeref asked with concern as he felt his brother's forehead to check for a fever.

"I'm fine, just a little tired."

"He was trying to take a nap before we left." Wendy remembered.

"You shouldn't be walking back alone, we can all go." Zeref announced much to Wendy's disappointment.

"No, I don't want to ruin your outing. Why don't you call Gramps and see if he can pick me up. You and Wendy can stay out for a bit longer."

Zeref looked at both of his siblings and felt torn. He grabbed his phone and called his grandfather. He spoke into the phone for a few minutes and then hung up.

"He said he's not that far. He's going to pick you up at the entrance to the Boardwalk. We'll stay with you until he comes."

"Thanks." Natsu said.

"It's fine, just get some rest when you get home." Zeref said still looking worried as they made their way to the meeting spot.

o-o

Natsu helped Laxus and Gramps bring in the groceries from the car. He watched them put everything away and after realizing he wouldn't be much help asked if he could go to the beach for a little while. Gramps agreed and Natsu left the house and walked to the water's edge.

He'd always loved water, loved being submerged in it. The feel of it on his body as he bathed or swam relaxed him like nothing else. His mother used to tease him that it must have been a side effect of having been a water birth. He smiled through the longing he felt as he thought of her and some of his uneasiness dissolved. Maybe that's all this feeling was, he'd never been here without her. This place brought back a lot of memories of her, and Igneel. As he listened to the rhythmic sound of the waves his mind wandered. He began to think about what happened after death, he wondered if his parents were back together somewhere just waiting for Zeref to join them. Were they watching him? He hoped they weren't, he was sure they would be disappointed, but he would do better. He wanted to do better. The late afternoon summer breeze felt good on his skin and he felt himself relaxing even further. He'd forgotten how nice it was here. He watched the waves come in and go back out, saw some of the treasures that they buried in the sand for others to find. He should look for seashells tomorrow with Wendy, she always liked that, maybe he could find a way to turn it into a competition with Zeref and Laxus. He grinned in anticipation.

Zeref and Wendy returned from the boardwalk, it wasn't a very long walk it had only taken them about twenty minutes. They saw Natsu standing at the water's edge and decided to watch from a distance so as not to disturb him while he looked so peaceful. They saw Laxus call out for Natsu and took that as their cue to go inside and let Gramps know they were back.

"Natsu?" Laxus yelled from the front door of the house. When he got no response he exited and moved closer. "Hey, Natsu!"

He sighed, annoyed that his cousin didn't seem to hear him. He took his sandals off and walked barefoot towards Natsu figuring that the wind was making it hard for him to be heard. "NATSU?"

Zeref peeked out the window when he heard Laxus yell.

Laxus got close enough to touch his cousin.

Zeref ran outside and yelled, "LAXUS, DON'T!" but his yell was absorbed by the wind.

Zeref could only watch as Laxus reached out with his arm and gently grabbed Natsu's shoulder from behind. "Natsu, Gramps-"

"DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME!" Natsu screamed. He spun around quickly, grabbing the arm that was on his shoulder with both of his arms and driving them down hard against the man's elbow using all of his body weight until they both dropped to the ground. Natsu was careful to keep his head tilted downward to protect his face from accidentally getting slammed by the man's head. He quickly scrambled to his feet and stepped away..

Zeref looked on in shock as he saw them both drop to the ground. Natsu saw his cousin lying on the ground with the wind knocked out of him and freaked.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry! Are you ok?" Natsu apologized as his racing heart began to slow down when he recognized his cousin. "I don't know why I did that, you just startled me."

Natsu tried to help him up but Laxus waved him off as he panted. "I need a minute."

Natsu backed up but still looked at him with concern.

"I'm alright, just a little trouble breathing," Laxus assured him. "I shouldn't have grabbed you from behind like that, that was stupid."

Zeref went back inside to continue watching from the window.

Laxus finally got up once his breathing felt normal and tried to get the sand off his clothes. He was shaken on several levels. He hadn't expected that reaction and he had seen the terror in Natsu's face as it happened. He'd seen that look many years ago and he had been the one to put it there. The familiar guilt that he felt when he spent too much time around his cousin began to eat away at him once again. He knew this vacation was important for their family. After everything the old man had done for him he didn't want to ruin this trip for him by handling this situation badly.

"Was that some kind of self defense move?"

"Yeah, Mom made me take a couple of self defense courses when I was eight." Natsu smiled sheepishly. "She said it was important to know how to take care of myself, she said it would help me feel in control in situations where someone might try to take that away from me. It's the first time I've used it, not gonna lie it felt kind of good."

Laxus laughed nervously. "I'm sure it did. I came to tell you that Gramps wants you to come inside. He wants you to help set the table for dinner."

"Ok. Are you coming?" Natsu asked

"I'm going to stay out here for a few minutes."

"Sorry again."

Laxus nodded and waved him off. He wondered if Natsu had been that scared because he had been grabbed or because it was him that had done it. It's not like he could ask him. After a few minutes had passed he went inside for dinner.

o-o

A/N I'm really tempted to explain what some of this stuff is, why it's important and what it signifies but I think it would take away so I'll just explain the more glaring aspects.I think if I manage to get all this right in the narrative I will be happy with the fact that my writing is improving! Also if you squint there was some family fluff in the first part.

Anyways, I spent a few hours yesterday doing research on the neurobiology of sexual assault trying to get a better understanding of how memories get encoded in the brain during an assault. Don't judge, I was a psych major this stuff is interesting to me. *grin* It's actually fascinating.

Short version there are different kinds of memories that can come into play when recalling an assault/traumatic experience: episodic, implicit and procedural. This chapter deals with implicit memories. Implicit memories are all about associations and they are fragmentary. They are often not understood by the person who is having them and can be very frustrating because they are in fact remembering while not being aware that they are doing so. For example: Say a child was sexually abused by an older person but they don't remember the actual abuse. They might feel angry or scared when touched by an older person but not know why they feel that way. It can be triggered by something as simple as a smell.

In this case it's more direct. If you remember a few chapters ago when Zeref was recalling the abuse I implied Laxus had been standing behind Natsu when he was abusing him. This is what Natsu is unconsciously responding to which is also why Laxus saw the fear/terror in his face.

The uneasiness Natsu is experiencing in his body is a kind of extended alert state where he is searching for danger. This takes up a huge amount of energy which is why he's so tired. It is unconscious and it seems to be set off most by Laxus' presence. Mavis signifies safety to him so whenever he thinks about her he is able to somewhat calm down and come out of that state.


	13. Take My Hand

Disclaimer: All Fairy Tail Characters Belong To Hiro Mashima.

Chapter 13: Take My Hand

"You haven't been answering your phone."

Gray startled out of his reverie to find Erza standing in his room, her hands placed on her hips and a disapproving expression on her face. He quickly closed the browser window on his computer before she could see what he had been looking at and swiveled his desk chair to face her.

"I'm sorry, a lot has happened the last few days and I haven't really felt like talking to anyone."

"What's wrong?"

Gray sighed, he wasn't sure whether he should tell her or not. Natsu was so private these days but then again it's not like it wouldn't be public knowledge soon. "Zeref is dying, he's not expected to survive the summer."

Erza looked at him in shock. "Are you sure?"

Gray nodded, "Yeah, that's why Natsu and Wendy were here last weekend."

"I fail to see what the two things have to do with each other."

"When he dies my parents will become Natsu and Wendy's legal guardians and they'll come live with us. My mom thought it would be a good idea to get them used to being around us again before that happens."

"Zeref…...is dying?" Erza repeated the words slowly watching Gray for any sign of deception.

Gray met her gaze and then looked down.

Erza sat on Gray's bed. "Are you kidding me?" She said with more than a bit of anger. "What the hell?"

"I wish I was."

Erza's tough demeanor crumbled and Gray found himself holding Erza as she sniffled, he'd done most of his crying Sunday night after everyone had left. Zeref had been a large part of their lives growing up. Even though he was three years older than them he'd always played with them and participated in their constant sleepovers. He'd always been a bit of an older brother to the two of them as well since they were both only children.

"How's Natsu handling it?" Erza asked with concern once she'd gotten herself under control.

"Not well. He figured it out before Zeref could tell us and ran out of the house. My dad said he had a panic attack. I know my parents are worried about him. I'm worried too. Wendy wouldn't stop crying, it was awful." He got a little weepy as he remembered holding Wendy against him and trying to calm her down until Zeref returned from checking on Natsu.

He wanted to tell her about how Natsu had seemed scared of him and how he hadn't really talked to him since but he knew if he did Erza wouldn't stop until Natsu told her what was wrong and that would destroy what little they had managed to recover of their friendship. Gray wanted to know what was going on inside Natsu's head but not at Erza's expense.

They sat quietly for a few minutes each deep in their own sad thoughts.

"Should we go see him?" Erza asked him suddenly.

"We can't, he's at Akane Beach with his family. He won't be back until next Wednesday and we can't call him either, his grandfather made them leave all their phones behind."

"Why does all this stuff happen to them? It doesn't seem fair."

Gray could only shrug, he'd wondered the same thing many times. When they were little he had thought Natsu had the perfect family. They were warm, loving, fun and oh so welcoming. He'd loved going to their house and being a part of it all and it was devastating for him to see what had become of all of them.

He'd finally read Natsu's second story right before Erza had arrived and he was even more determined to try to get through to his friend somehow. The problem was he couldn't think of anything to say that would get a conversation going that wouldn't seem suspicious. Here he was, probably knew the knucklehead better than anyone else and he still couldn't think of what to say. That second story was so obviously personal, and he knew how much it would mean to Wendy. After Igneel's abrupt death Natsu had distanced himself from everyone, leaving her to handle her grief on her own. He looked at Erza wondering if he should tell her about Natsu's writing, if she could help him get through to Natsu somehow. He decided to hold on to the secret a bit longer even though it made him feel guilty, they usually didn't keep secrets from each other.

"How do you feel about them moving in here?" Erza asked.

"Awful. Every time I get excited by the idea I remember why it's happening and I -" Gray couldn't finish the sentence as the guilt overwhelmed him once again.

"I don't think Zeref would be upset with you for being happy they're coming, Gray." Erza said, knowing firsthand how much Zeref loved his siblings. "I'd rather think that would make him glad, it doesn't mean you want him to die."

Gray nodded and fought the tears that were threatening to come. He didn't want to cry anymore, certainly not in front of Erza but finding out about Zeref had brought back his sadness at Mavis death and his anger at Igneel's murder as well as a host of other feelings that he'd thought he'd left behind years ago. His emotions were in a constant state of flux. If this was how Natsu felt all the time he could almost understand why he tried to keep himself from feeling anything. Not that Gray had any plans of letting him get away with it.

"Are you guys going to move?"

"No, my parents are going to renovate. They're adding a master suite and a pool. Natsu will get the guest room and Wendy will get their bedroom. Construction starts next week."

"You look terrible." Erza said as she observed the dark bags under Gray's eyes and the scruffiness that covered his usually clean shaven face. "Have you even left the house since Sunday?"

"No. It's been a lot to digest. I've just sat around thinking about everything."

"Well, that stops now. For the last year you've focused too much on Natsu and not enough on yourself. You haven't even given Lucy the time of day. You need a vacation from Natsu Dragneel and his problems. Go take a shower and get dressed, we're going out. I'll wait for you downstairs."

Gray ignored the comment about Lucy for the moment and tried to protest but after giving it some thought decided that taking a break from worrying about everything that was going to happen might be just what he needed. "Alright, I'll be downstairs in twenty minutes."

Erza was already making phone calls as he walked her to the stairs. He entered his bathroom and got ready.

o-o

 _A young Natsu looked down at the cast on Gray's arm with concern. It had been on for several weeks yet Gray still seemed to be in pain._

" _Does it still hurt?" Natsu asked._

" _Of course it hurts! I broke my arm doofus." Gray sighed when he saw Natsu startle at his words."Will you please stop worrying, I'm going to have this thing on for most of the summer. I swear, you're worse than my mom."_

 _Natsu started to protest but Gray cut him off, "And before you say anything, it wasn't your fault. It was mine."_

 _Natsu was ready to disagree but he let it go for now, he didn't want to waste the little time that his dad had given him to be here today on petty arguing._

" _Natsu what's wrong?" Gray asked him worriedly when he noticed that Natsu looked sad. "You know you can tell me anything."_

" _Nothing. I- just don't want anything bad to happen to you." Natsu said hurriedly. How could he explain to his friend that he felt afraid all the time? That loud noises terrified him to the point of tears. What would Gray think of him if he knew?_

" _Nothing's going to happen to me. I'm an invincible ice-make wizard, remember? I always have my equally powerful friends beside me, especially a certain destructive fire dragon slayer." Gray grinned at him hoping it would cheer him up._

 _Natsu snorted even though he didn't feel particularly powerful at the moment._

" _Close your eyes." Gray said quietly, "I want to try something."_

 _Natsu closed his eyes obediently, he felt safe with Gray. He waited patiently for something to happen and he felt a moist pressure on his lips. It was soft and warm. He felt himself respond even though he didn't really know what he was doing. He pressed back with his own lips and much too soon the pressure was gone. He opened his eyes to see a red faced Gray looking at him nervously._

" _Why did you do that?" Natsu asked surprised._

" _I wanted you to be my first kiss." Gray's cheeks were getting redder by the second and he was looking everywhere but at Natsu. "My parents told me that your first kiss should be with someone you love."_

" _You love me?" Natsu asked perplexed by the news._

 _Gray smiled. "Of course I do, you're my best friend."_

 _Natsu returned the smile, "You're my best friend too!"_

" _Did I do alright?" Gray asked._

 _Natsu nodded. He was confused about what was happening but he'd liked it and in a burst of honesty he confided something he'd never felt brave enough to say before. "I like being with you, Gray. Everything's quiet when I'm with you and I'm not scared of anything."_

" _What are you scared of, Natsu?"_

 _Natsu shook his head. He would not speak of that here. "Kiss me again?"_

 _Gray happily did and they spent a few minutes exploring each other's lips until they heard an angry roar so loud that the words concealed within remained indecipherable. They separated at once and looked around, trying to figure out where the noise had come from but there was only silence. They looked at each other nervously not knowing what to do. They turned towards the house meaning to go inside when the loud music started._

 _Natsu burst into tears. This wasn't supposed to happen here. He was with Gray, he should be safe from the noise. Was it because they kissed? The music got even louder and Gray could see that Natsu was terrified._

" _Don't cry, Natsu. I will keep you safe, I promise."_

 _Gray rubbed Natsu's arms to calm him but Natsu was still crying. "I'll go see what it is, ok? It's probably just a neighbor having a party, I'll ask them to turn it down." He grabbed Natsu's hand and squeezed it. "Stay here, I'll be right back."_

 _Gray walked off the deck and followed the noise towards the source of the loud music._

 _Natsu screamed frantically. "NO! GRAY, HE'LL GET YOU TOO!"_

 _Natsu paced back and forth on the deck for a bit keeping Gray in view, too scared to follow him. He looked to the sliding door for a second and wondered if he should find Mika, when he looked back Gray was gone and the ground seemed further away than he remembered. Natsu looked all over their yard from the safety of the deck but Gray was nowhere to be seen. Natsu's heart was racing and he was terrified but he had to get off that deck and look for Gray. The wooden steps that let to the yard had grown to the point where Natsu would have to jump from one to the next to get down. He would have to be brave so that he could protect his best friend from the monster that hid within the music. He didn't know how he knew about the monster but he had never been more certain of anything in his life. He stood on the top step and looked down at the ground which was now even further away and before he could change his mind began to jump from step to step until he reached the ground._

 _Natsu was shaking as he followed the music through his friend's backyard and into the small woods behind it where they often played. He covered his ears to protect them but it made no difference, the music was just as loud and now he could hear screams in the distance. He pushed himself to move faster. He found himself in a dark hallway. It was narrow and he could hear footsteps behind him, getting ever closer. He kept moving forward in the dark, hearing those footsteps speeding up. His heart began to race, it was so loud that he couldn't hear the footsteps anymore. He tried to run, afraid that whoever was behind him was going to grab him, but no matter how hard he tried to speed up it still felt like an agonizing crawl._

" _GRAY!" Natsu tried to scream out but could only manage a hoarse whisper, "...Where are you?..."_

 _He strained his ears for a response but there was none. At least none that he could hear. He kept running yelling Gray's name every once in a while. The hallway seemed endless but Natsu kept running. After what felt like hours he began to see light in the darkness. It was leaking out through a door frame, outlining it. He stopped in front of it. The music was loudest here and Natsu was sure if he opened the door he would see where it was coming from. He could hear muffled sounds coming through the loud music. Every cell in his body screamed that he shouldn't go in there, he should never go in there and he didn't want to, but Gray could be in trouble and he was injured. He made up his mind and screwed up his courage, he reached out to turn the doorknob but his arm was grabbed before he could reach it._

 _He followed the hand that was holding on to his arm all the way back up to its owner and felt the scream that he had been about to let out freeze and turn into a surprised gurgle instead. Holding his arm was his mother and she was shaking her head at him._

" _You're not ready to go in there yet."_

 _Natsu looked at her confused. "But Gray's in there, I have to save him."_

" _Gray was never in that room, Natsu." Mavis said calmly, "Let's get you back to him, he's waiting for you and he's worried."_

" _Mama, what's in that room?" Natsu asked although he felt he didn't really want to know the answer._

" _Your worst nightmare." She grabbed Natsu in her arms and held him against her tightly. She let go of him and smiled at him sadly as she used her fingers to gently move his hair away from his face. She grasped his hand and began to walk him back to Gray's house. Natsu dared to look back at the door with the ominous lightning bolt emblazoned on it one last time as he was pulled away. Mavis gripped his hand tighter. "Natsu, the day will come when you will have to open that door to slay your devils but you're not ready yet."_

 _Natsu nodded in agreement, even though he had no idea what she was talking abouta the racing of his heart and the terror that was embedded in his soul told him that she was right._

" _Mama, I miss you." Natsu said but the dream had shifted and instead of his mother gently leading him towards Gray's house his father was forcefully pulling him away from it. He was scowling and looking at him with disgust._

" _How could you do that, Natsu?" his father roared. "Did you actually like it, is that it? Were you hoping he would do it to you?"_

 _Natsu looked at him uncomprehendingly as he cowered, recognizing the roar from earlier. What was his father talking about? He had just been with his mother….._

" _What did I do?" he pleaded for an answer as he cried. "I don't understand."_

" _I can't let you do this to anyone else." Igneel growled as he pulled him harder._

" _Papa, please just tell me what I did wrong! I promise I won't ever do it again."_

" _You're damn right you won't." Igneel yelled as he opened the door to his car and threw Natsu inside before slamming the door shut behind him. "We're going to fix you."_

 _Igneel got into the driver's seat and dialed a number on his phone as Natsu howled in fright from the back seat and cried out for his mother and Zeref. "Acnologia? It's Igneel, what's the name of that place you told me about?"_

 _Natsu calmed down as his father continued to talk on the phone. He looked out the window and saw a boy with long green hair watching him from across the street. Even though his features were vague, Natsu could make out that his expression was sad. The boy seemed to be trying to say something to him. When Natsu shook his head to let the boy know he didn't understand, the boy began to cry red tears until his front was covered with what appeared to be streaks of blood. The boy reached out his hand towards Natsu who began to whimper. Natsu turned away and when he looked back, the boy was standing right outside his window, sending a shock through Natsu. As the boy put his bloody hand on the car window Natsu began to hoarsely scream in terror._

Natsu woke up with a start, his heart racing and tears rolling down his cheeks. A scream formed in his throat but he managed to hold it back not wanting to wake up Wendy or Zeref. What the fuck kind of dream was that? He sat up in his bed and tried to get himself under control as the dream began to fade away. He got up and decided to explore the house, there was no way in hell he was going back to sleep after that.

 _A/N A special thanks to MiyuTanemura for reading the dream sequence and giving me feedback, and to hubs for getting excited about it enough to offer some constructive criticisms and suggestions :)._


	14. A Grandfather's Love

Disclaimer: All Fairy Tail Characters Belong To Hiro Mashima

Chapter 14: A Grandfather's Love

Makarov Dreyar sat up in his bed and strained his ears to try to isolate the noise that had awoken him. He was a light sleeper on the average day but being responsible for four kids had made him even more alert. He heard movement inside the house followed by the sound of the front door closing softly. He looked at his alarm clock which alerted him to the fact that it was 3:34 in the morning and groaned. It was way too early to be awake. He sighed, rubbed his eyes and decided that if he was already up he might as well get some fishing in. He got dressed and gathered his supplies, going out the side door to place them on the small dock where his boat was moored. He headed towards the beach wanting to check on whichever of his grandkids was outside before he left. He was surprised to see it was Natsu, he had been expecting Laxus or even Zeref. Natsu was sitting on the sand with his arms wrapped around his knees, staring out at the water. He looked very young and a little spooked, although he could just have been cold. Natsu was a difficult person to talk to and Makarov watched him for awhile as he thought about the best way to approach him. When he made up his mind he went back to his boat and grabbed a blanket before making his way towards his youngest grandson.

"I thought I'd find you here." Makarov chuckled as he tossed the blanket across his grandson's shoulders. "You're so much like your mother sometimes, it's uncanny."

Natsu looked up from where he was sitting on the beach to find his grandfather staring down at him. He was still a bit shaken from his nightmare but sitting by the water had calmed him down somewhat.

"Do you mind if I join you?" Makarov asked as he sat down on the sand without waiting for an answer.

Natsu snorted and shook his head. "Go right ahead."

"So what brings you out here so late, or should I say early?"

The sun had not yet begun to rise and the stars could be seen shining brightly in the dark sky.

"I had a nightmare and I couldn't get back to sleep," Natsu said honestly, "I didn't want to wake anyone and I figured the sound of the waves would calm me down."

"A nightmare, huh? I imagine with everything that's happened it's to be expected." Makarov commiserated. "Would you like to talk about it?"

"Not really. To tell you the truth I've forgotten a lot of it already it just freaked me out right when I woke up." Natsu said and it was mostly the truth. He had forgotten a lot of it but the things he did remember about it were still confusing, not to mention creepy.

"You know Natsu, I'm always here for you." Makarov told him seriously. "We might argue at school but I'm your grandfather and I love you very much. You can tell me anything. I've been around for a long time and I've been a high school principal for close to fifty years . Very few things faze me."

Natsu nodded but remained quiet. He enjoyed the night breeze that blew through his hair and caressed his clammy skin. The sound of the waves helped to relax him and the vision of that bloody green haired boy receded more and more. He wrapped the blanket tighter around himself.

Makarov remained quiet for awhile seemingly lost in his own thoughts. "I used to find your mother out here all the time. She used to love the water, just like you."

Natsu smiled at the thought that this was something he shared with his mother. "Hey Gramps, what was she like at my age?"

Makarov stared out a the sea thoughtfully. "When Mavis was your age she wasn't very happy. She was stuck in the hospital most of the time with only Mika and Yuri for company but she made the best of it. She was a cheerful girl who was quick to open her heart. She always tried to see the best in everyone. You used to be like that once. I know it won't be easy but I really hope, someday, you will be again."

They sat there for a bit longer in companionable silence staring out to sea when Makarov suddenly stood up. "Come on, let's go."

"I don't want to go back inside just yet, Gramps."

"Who said anything about going back inside?" Makarov grinned as he offered Natsu a hand and pulled him up. "It's about time I taught you how to fish."

"Fish? It's like 4 o'clock in the morning, old man!" Natsu exclaimed, he thought his grandfather had finally lost it.

"Exactly, didn't you read the Old Man and the Sea in school? That's the best time to head out and catch some fish."

"I seem to remember there being some sharks involved in that story."

"Well, yeah but the old man survived. What's life without a little adventure?" Makarov lips widened in a reckless grin that Natsu could only marvel at. He was always surprised by how large his grandfather could seem despite his small stature.

"The best thing to do to get out of the grip of a nightmare is to do something that makes you feel alive!"

"Fishing makes you feel alive? I thought it was a bunch of sitting down quietly in a boat waiting for fish to bite."

"Natsu Dragneel, you wound me. Besides your mother loved to fish with me."

"Now I know you're lying."

"Ok fine, you got me. I just don't want to go by myself and we haven't gotten to spend much time together. Happy?"

"Fine, fine. Teach me the ways of the mighty fish, sensei." Natsu rolled his eyes, not really excited by the prospect.

"I *will* make you clean whatever we catch." Makarov threatened.

Natsu wrinkled his nose and Makarov laughed at him. They walked together towards the private dock, Makarov climbed into the motorboat and Natsu handed him all the supplies before untying the line from the cleat and climbing in. As they sped away towards deeper waters Natsu found his grandfather was right, he was already feeling better and even though he didn't enjoy fishing he did enjoy the boating lessons his grandfather gave him once the sun came up. He grinned with excitement as he maneuvered the craft back to the dock and if it took him more than one try to get it right he didn't care, by then the dream had ebbed until it was nothing more than a distant memory.

o-o

Laxus Dreyar walked into the kitchen of his grandfather's beach house humming quietly to himself. He cooked up some eggs and bacon and sat down at the dining room table to eat his breakfast. This was the first time that his cousins had joined them for their week long vacation in years and Laxus had been nervous about how it was going to go. He was used to being alone, he'd been an only child and even now he and Gramps lived by themselves. He had to admit that despite the rocky start with Natsu manhandling him, the previous evening had turned out surprisingly well. They'd had a nice dinner and afterwards had found all the old board games they had used to play when they were younger and spent hours playing them. For the first time in years he had felt like he belonged with these people. The best part of the night had been when Wendy had excitedly told him that Zeref had bought tickets for all four of them to go to the amusement park the following day.

As he was thinking about how grateful he was to be included by Zeref in a family outing his oldest cousin entered the kitchen looking decidedly nervous. Laxus tried to remain cautiously optimistic.

"Hey, Laxus. You got a minute?"

"Sure." Laxus replied guardedly, not sure what this was about.

"Do you mind if we talk outside?" Zeref asked, "I'd rather Wendy didn't overhear us."

Laxus got up from the table and put his dishes in the sink to be washed later. He walked towards the side door that connected the kitchen to the large deck and let himself out with Zeref following behind him. They waited until the door closed making sure that Wendy could not hear them. Laxus looked out towards their dock and noticed that the motorboat was returning. He smiled, happy to see that the old man had gone fishing. He turned towards his cousin and waited for him to begin, his body unconsciously tensing, readying itself for whatever Zeref had to say.

"I wanted to talk to you about Sunday." Zeref began, "I'm sorry I overreacted. I shouldn't have yelled at you."

"It's ok. I'm sure you couldn't help it." Laxus relaxed a little, surprised but pleased that Zeref was apologizing to him.

"It's not ok. All that happened a long time ago. You're different now."

"It's fine. Apology accepted." Laxus turned to go back inside, anxious to end the conversation on a positive note but Zeref's voice stopped him.

"Wait, there's more. Look, I'm sorry to have to ask this but I need you to stay away from Natsu while we're here."

"What? How am I supposed to do that?" Laxus asked and just like that all the hope that he had been carrying this morning deflated like a punctured balloon. He should have known better than to think that Zeref could ever change his mind about him. "Did you talk to Gramps about this?"

"No." Zeref replied honestly. "I was hoping I wouldn't have to."

"Didn't you just say that you know I'm different now?" Laxus tried one last time to redeem Zeref in his eyes.

"Look, Natsu had a panic attack that day and Silver is worried that if he's around you a whole lot while he's this vulnerable it can be bad. I have to do what's best for him, surely you can understand that."

"You told Silver?" Laxus yelled indignantly. "You had no right!" He felt betrayed and as he sensed the anger rising within he realized that for once he did not feel like holding it back.

"I had to, Laxus. He will be Natsu and Wendy's legal guardian when I'm…..gone." Zeref said uncomfortably.

"Well then fuck Silver, and fuck you." Laxus growled, "What I did was wrong, I know that. I wish that I could take it back, but I can't. I would like nothing more than to apologize and make amends for my actions to Natsu but he doesn't remember what happened and I respect that. I get that you're looking out for him, Zeref, but did you ever give a thought to me?"

"Calm down Laxus, you saw how he reacted to you grabbing him yesterday. He's on edge, all I'm asking is that you don't get too close to him while we're here."

"No, that's not what you're asking at all!" Laxus pointed out as his anger turned to outrage. "What you're really asking is for me to make myself scarce while you have your little family vacation but I'm not going to play along this time. I've tried for years to get you to see me as something other than the boy who hurt Natsu but it's obvious to me now that it's never going to happen. I'm done trying to get you to forgive me for what I did, Zeref. "

"I get that you're his brother and you want to protect him. Hell, maybe if I'd had that nothing would have happened but I didn't. I had no one, even now all I have is a kind old man who's able to see past what I once did and what was done to me to still see me as someone worthy of being loved. He makes me want to be better than I was and for him I have put up with your shit for years but last night made me realize something. No matter what you might think I *am* a part of this family. So you're going to have to learn to deal with me because I'm not going anywhere."

"Laxus you're overreac-"

"No, Zeref. I'm not overreacting." Laxus yelled, too angry to care about who heard him. "I won't allow you and Silver to ostracize me from the only family I have. I've spent the last eight years going to therapy. I've put in the work and frankly I deserve to be treated better by you. I'm not that angry boy any longer, I would never hurt Natsu now. I have earned my place in this family and I will not be made to feel any less by you or anyone else."

He stomped down the stairs of the deck and bumped into Natsu and Gramps who were staring at him open-mouthed. Makarov looked at Laxus with concern while Natsu stood there awkwardly carrying a cooler full of the fish they had caught. Laxus grunted an apology at them and stormed off towards town.

"LAXUS" Makarov called after him but Laxus didn't stop. The old man sighed before his eyes narrowed and focused on his eldest grandson.

"Zeref, a word?" Makarov looked at his grandson angrily. He kept his composure while he asked Natsu to take the cooler inside and check on Wendy. The last thing that Natsu heard before the door closed behind him was his grandfather asking Zeref what the hell had happened.

Natsu wanted to be amused because Zeref was never in trouble. It was one of the most irritating things about him and to suddenly see him facing their grandfather's wrath was something Natsu never expected but all he could think about was the words he had heard Laxus say.

" _I would never hurt Natsu now"_

Just what did that mean? Had Laxus hurt him before? No, that couldn't be right. Sure he and Laxus argued a lot and they had gotten into a few scuffles over the years but nothing severe enough to be considered hurting. He shrugged it off to Zeref being overprotective. Still he couldn't help but feel uneasy as he looked outside and saw that Gramps and Zeref were still arguing. He felt the beginnings of a headache and it wasn't until he felt his arms begin to shake from exertion that he realized he was still holding the cooler full of fish. He placed it gently on the kitchen floor not wanting to incur the old man's wrath by having anything happen to his precious fish.

His headache began to intensify and he made his way back to their bedroom to check on Wendy. He found her still asleep, blissfully unaware of all the morning's drama. He crawled into her bed being careful not to wake her and snuggled up against her tiredly, hoping that sleep would get rid off his headache before it turned into a full fledged migraine.

o-o

A/N Funny story. My son finally remembered to give my husband the "poem" he had written for Father's Day. It was like a prompt thing they had to fill out. One of the lines was My father is handsome like… When we were looking at it, it said Gray. Apparently he meant to say like a gray wolf but his handwriting is terrible and all you could see was My father is handsome like Gray. We both cracked up and he was horribly embarrassed but then I did the checklist in my mind…...Tall, dark hair, dark eyes, fair, tattoo on his chest, dark backstory. He did have washboard abs (well, ok decent abs) when I met him…. Holy shit! I'm married to Gray. There are worse things in life I suppose. *grin*

On another note today marks the end of a big chapter for me. My youngest kid just graduated out of elementary school. I feel old.


	15. Resilient

Disclaimer: All Fairy Tail Characters Belong to Hiro Mashima

Chapter 15: Resilient

Laxus Dreyar didn't slow down until he reached the boardwalk. It had been years since he had let his temper get the better of him and while he was frustrated by his lapse in control he had to admit that it had felt good to lash out at Zeref.

Now that he had some distance from the situation, however, he felt quite the opposite. He had let his emotions control him and he had failed to communicate in the way he wanted. Zeref could be infuriating even on his best days but his approval was something that Laxus still craved and he had derailed from that goal spectacularly. He was just happy he had left before he had resorted to violence. He'd certainly thought about it.

He was well aware why Zeref's forgiveness was so important to him. His therapist had discussed it with him in great detail. Zeref had been there the last time it had happened, had witnessed the depravity and cruelty that Laxus had subjected Natsu to. If he could never get Natsu's forgiveness, and he had resigned himself to that fact already, then earning Zeref's was the next best thing and Laxus desperately wanted to earn forgiveness. Even though he still hurt on the inside and would never fully forgive himself for what he had done, he had come to a sort of understanding of his child self. The need he'd had to exert some semblance of control over his life even if it came at the expense of others. It had been the selfish thought of a child, one that he had no intention of repeating. He had caused enough harm. Over the years he had tried to show his cousin in every way he could think of that he had changed, that he was better than who he had been, but Zeref never seemed to see Laxus for who he was, Zeref was still fixated on who Laxus had been.

Now that Zeref was dying Laxus might have to accept that he might never get what he was hoping for. There was another piece to the puzzle as well, even though Zeref had beaten him within an inch of his life if it hadn't been for Zeref's interference, Ivan might never have been arrested and Laxus would have continued in the downward spiral that had commenced soon after his mother's death. Laxus was grateful to Zeref for that.

Laxus had not spoken to Ivan since the day of his arrest. He would never understand why his father did those things to him, just like he would never understand why he had never asked for help. Gramps would have helped him if he had asked. Maybe he had been scared that no one would believe him, or even worse, maybe they would have thought that he had deserved it. He tensed up at that thought, it was one that he still struggled with often. He had come to terms with Ivan's abuse as best he could, fully aware that an apology would not be forthcoming from the father he detested. There was still one thing he he had to do, and even though it would not be easy, he didn't think he should wait much longer. He fixed his attention on the boardwalk which was rather quiet at the moment. It was still very early in the morning so no music was playing on the loudspeakers. He people watched, letting his mind wander on to more pleasant things.

He thought about his mother as he always did when they came to Akane Beach. She had loved it here. She would always make a point of setting aside an afternoon just for the two of them. He could still remember how she held his hand as they would walk around this same boardwalk watching the street performers. They would stop for ice cream and check out the souvenir stalls. She would always let him pick a special token of their day together and he still had them all. Her long green hair would billow in the wind behind her as she walked and her blue eyes would twinkle as she gave him her special smile that was reserved just for him. He considered walking over to the souvenir stands to get something for Wendy when he noticed someone with long green hair walking on the boardwalk headed towards the beach. He watched them for a moment, not really taking in any features just watching how the hair was blowing in the small breeze. He closed his eyes and turned away as a desperate longing assailed him. He kept them closed for a moment, and when he opened them again and turned back he was surprised to see the hair still there and now walking past him, its owner's arms laden with paper bags.

Now that he was sure that he was not seeing things, Laxus was able to see that the hair did not belong to a woman but to a man and he sighed with relief. Now was not the time to be losing it. He laughed at himself, of course his mother had not been the only person in the world with that hair color, just like Natsu was not the only one with pink hair. He watched the man walk away for a few minutes and then turned his attention back to the boardwalk looking for something that would keep him entertained. He had no desire to get back to the house yet for he was well aware that the old man would want to talk about what had happened. After standing around for 10 minutes or so he decided to head back home anyway and as he started moving in that direction he heard what he thought might be yells coming from the same direction that the man with the bags had gone. He stopped in his tracks and since he was still full of nervous energy he decided to go check it out.

o-o

Freed Justine was walking down the boardwalk towards the campground he and his brother were staying at. It was their one day off from the amusement park and he had let his brother sleep late while he went to the grocery store to buy their food for the week. They had applied for the jobs because it was good pay, but they hadn't taken into consideration how expensive it would be to live at the tourist town for the summer. Thankfully, the park's hiring manager was a pleasant old lady who had recommended the campground when Freed had shyly asked about an inexpensive place for them to stay. She had even called in a favor, saying it was not safe for two young boys to camp by themselves all summer. The large amounts of money that passed through the town every day tended to attract some of the less desirable elements, and while the police made sure that the high traffic tourist areas like the hotel and amusement park remained safe for the tourists, the same could not be said for other parts of town. The owner of the campground had allowed the boys to stay in a small cabin for the same price as a campsite. The owner had also installed a small refrigerator and an outdated microwave so they could keep some food in the room. It wasn't much, the room only had two full size beds and not much else but it was still nicer than what they were used to and it was not too far from the bathrooms.

Freed tried to ignore the sweltering heat that was making his long sleeved shirt unbearable, but it was hard. It was unusually hot for being so early in the morning, and that signalled it was going to be a rather uncomfortable day. He should at the very least have put his hair up. He felt a small breeze lift it up and away from his sweaty neck and the small gust of air felt wonderful against his skin. The bags felt heavy in his arms, he had bought more than usual wanting to surprise his brother with a few treats. He had spent a lot of his pay on the food and after he paid for their cabin there would not be much left of this week's paycheck. He kept his money tucked inside his underwear having learned the hard way that if he kept it in any of his pockets or in a wallet, more often than not it would get taken away from him. Normally he'd leave ten dollars in his pocket to appease any would be mugger but this time he had not done so, all he had was the jingly change from his groceries.

He was tired, he'd had a restless night full of nightmares, no doubt brought about by having seen Natsu. After the initial shock had worn off, Freed had been happy to see him. Freed was sure that was Natsu, the pink hair and slanted green eyes were distinctive enough, but the truth was, even though it had been six years, Natsu's face had not changed much. For years, Freed thought that he'd failed, that his sacrifice had all been for nothing, and Natsu was dead. His parents had told him as much. To see him alive and well had brought Freed joy, but it had also brought back unpleasant memories, memories that he'd rather not think about. He tried to shift his focus to his surroundings, to check if anyone was showing unusual interest in him. It was a reflex born of being on the run for so long, but he was tired and there were many people out and about. He did notice a tall muscular blond man eyeing him briefly but as the man turned away he thought nothing more of it. Freed should be home in about 10 more minutes. He could already see the sign for the campground up ahead.

As he got closer to the campground, he relaxed. He was close to home, and with a gentle smile he began to think of how excited his brother would be about the treats in the bag. Relaxing proved to be a mistake.

o-o

"Why can't we go to the amusement park today?" Wendy whined at her brother who was standing in the kitchen wearing an apron and cleaning what looked to be fish. "You promised."

"I'm sorry, Wend." Zeref said meekly from his place at the kitchen island, "I have to clean all these fish and prepare them for lunch."

Wendy was still put out, but her curiosity got the better of her. She knew Zeref was not exactly a fan of the kitchen, although he was better at it than Natsu. "Why is that exactly?"

Zeref looked at her, debating how much to tell her. He knew that she really liked Laxus and he didn't want to get yelled at by yet another member of his family on this fine morning. "Gramps got mad at me for something I said and this is my punishment." He shrugged as if it didn't bother him. He looked at the cooler and wondered if his grandfather and brother had left any fish in the sea for others to catch. He had been going for what felt to him like a long time, but he hadn't even made a dent. At this rate, they'd be eating fish for every meal this week.

"Is Natsu awake?" Zeref asked trying to change the subject. "Maybe he can take you."

"Yeah, he's taking a shower." Wendy answered before continuing with her rant. "And no, Natsu can't take me because we're all supposed to go together. I promised Laxus we'd go as a family and I'm not going to go without either of you."

Zeref flinched guiltily at that. He'd honestly not expected Laxus to respond so badly to his request but after being yelled at by both him and Gramps, Zeref could see that he had been an ass, even if that had not been his intention. He had been given a lot to think about, and once he did not have a very sharp filleting knife near his fingers he intended to do just that.

Natsu walked into the kitchen at that point, barefoot and wearing his swim trunks and a t-shirt. He glanced at what Zeref was doing and smirked. "Wow, you really must have pissed of Gramps. Thanks! I was worried I was going to be stuck doing that."

"Did you guys have to catch every stupid fish in the sea?" Zeref grumbled as he once again looked into the cooler with dismay.

Natsu chuckled, "Gramps was having fun teaching me how to fish and we talked a lot so I don't think he realized how many we'd caught. He taught me how to drive the boat too. What was Laxus so mad about anyway?" What he really wanted to ask was what did Laxus mean about hurting him, but he didn't want to bring that up in front of Wendy.

"I just said something stupid, don't worry about it. I'll apologize to him later."

"Zeref, why did you have to make him mad?" Wendy complained. "We were having so much fun last night. I was hoping we could play again today."

"I already said I will apologize. After that it will be up to him whether to accept it or not." Zeref's tone let it be known that he was done with the topic.

Natsu shrugged and decided to drop it. It was clear that Zeref did not want to discuss it. "Hey Wendy, do you want to go to the beach with me? I think I saw some really nice shells out there."

"Sure! I'll go get changed." Wendy ran back to their room while Natsu got together some spoons and bowls for cereal and took out the milk from the fridge. He set everything on the table.

"Do you want to try to have a bonfire tonight, like we used to?" Natsu asked his brother as he grabbed the cereal boxes and sat down at the table. "The pit is still there and Gramps said he was ok with it as long as we were careful."

Zeref smiled as he thought Natsu's idea sounded more like the vacation he'd been envisioning. "Sure, maybe we can even get Laxus to help, he was a part of that too."

'Assuming he ever talks to me again' Zeref thought as he went back to the fish.

They both remained silent until they heard a click and looked up to see Wendy, dressed in her swimsuit, taking pictures of Zeref cleaning the fish with Zeref's camera. She grinned at him cheekily and said, "It looks like I have a new background picture for my phone as well."

She ran back to her room before her brother could protest. Zeref looked after her with annoyance but then smiled fondly as he realized that she was bouncing back from the shock he'd given her a few days ago. "She is so resilient." he commented to Natsu.

"She's never had any other choice." Natsu pointed out.

The two brothers remained silent after that grim observation. Natsu got up and kept himself busy by finding the items he and Wendy would need for their day at the beach, putting them in a bag as he waited for Wendy to be ready to go outside.

"Are you going to come out when you're done?" Natsu asked.

"Yeah."

o-o

Freed noticed a rather well built man walking purposefully towards him, he tried to think of any way to avoid the confrontation that seemed to be headed his way, although a part of him still held onto the hope that the man would walk past him. Had he briefly taken his eyes off of the man and looked to his sides he would have realized how unlikely that scenario truly was. There were two other men approaching from the sides. They made themselves known by tearing his grocery bags out of his arms and throwing them on the sand. They immediately grabbed his arms and kept him restrained for the other man. For some reason, all he could do was look at the ruined remains of their food and wonder if at least the boxed items would still be ok. He became angry. Why did this type of crap always happen to him? All he wanted was to be left alone so he could live his life however he wanted and to protect his brother until he was old enough that their parents couldn't touch him. When he saw the man tear the bags of food open and kick even more sand on the contents with a malevolent sneer, he began to struggle against the two men restraining him.

"We've been watching you and your brother, coming and going at all hours. " the man said with a sneer on his face. "It's not safe for the two of you to be here on your own. There are lots of dangerous elements in this town who could choose to take advantage of that situation. Make you do unsavory things." the man sneered suggestively while touching Freed's cheek.

Freed backed his head away in disgust. He debated screaming to try to get someone's attention but a quick glance showed him there was no one nearby. These men looked tough and he only knew basic self defense. Even worse, right now his mobility was severely limited. Maybe if he could figure out what they were after, he could give it to them and they'd let him go. He stopped struggling for the moment. "What is it that you want?"

"I want you to call your brother out here and then we'll have ourselves a party."

Freed's eyes widened as he understood the implication of those words. "My brother is at work." Freed bluffed, he did not want these men anywhere near his brother.

He received a punch to his stomach and as he tried to double over to soften the blow he felt his arms be pulled back roughly adding another layer to his already considerable pain.

"Don't lie to me, we already checked your cabin. He's still sleeping like a beautiful baby."

Freed had to do something, he couldn't let these men touch his brother. He did the only thing he could think of at the moment. Even though his stomach was still screaming in agony he tried to kick out towards the guy's genitals in the most basic self-defense move, but unfortunately he was not able to coordinate his movements that well while restrained. He ended up landing a rather ineffectual kick on the guy's thigh instead, ironically the sand that he displaced when he moved his leg caused more damage as some of it landed in the guy's eyes. The man began to scream profanities at him, and Freed was still in the same precarious position because he was still restrained and had now managed to really piss off his attacker.

"Shit." Freed muttered. To add insult to injury the guy grabbed one of the bottles of water from the groceries that were littered all over the ground. He opened it and used it to rinse out his eyes making a point of emptying the rest of the contents on the sand. Freed really regretted buying a glass bottle as it was now used to bash his head. The world went dark for a moment only to become overly bright. Freed blinked in pain, not sure what to do. He knew he had to find a way to turn this around soon, he could feel blood dripping down from his head.

"Don't you think you're taking this too far?" One of the guys holding his arms yelled at Freed's attacker and Freed could feel the man's grip on him loosening almost as if he wanted to give him a better chance. "You said you wanted to jump him, I never agreed to any of this other shit."

Freed was surprised to hear one of the other men standing up for him until he was able to focus properly and saw the main attacker coming at him with a shard of glass from the water bottle.

"The bitch tried to kick me in the balls, he needs to learn a lesson."

"Dude, I would have done the same thing." He let go of Freed's arm and walked away. "I won't be a part of this. Good luck, kid."

Unfortunately, before he was able to take advantage of the newfound freedom of his arm it was once again grabbed. Cursing himself for not taking advantage of his windfall, he panicked as the man with the glass shard came closer. Freed flailed for all he was worth. He sure as hell was not about to make it easy for the bastard. He shoved his aching, bleeding head back in an attempt to head butt the guy behind him but he made no contact. He screamed as he felt the glass slice through his chest.

"FUCK!" Freed screamed as he winced at the sting from the wound and felt the blood trickling from his chest down his stomach, surely staining his white shirt. He knew his chances of getting out of this went down the more he bled.

The man laughed. "Not feeling so tough now, are you? You and I are going to have some fun right now. We can always get your brother later." He slashed out again going after Freed's face this time. Freed moved his face to the side, terrified the guy would go after his eyes and felt the glass slicing his cheek.

Suddenly, Freed heard a scream behind him and almost fell over as his arms were released. He heard someone yell "RUN" and he did. He didn't even look to see who his savior was, he ran straight towards his cabin, not wanting to leave his brother unprotected.

"Where are you going?" Laxus yelled as he ran after the green haired man. "We need to get you help, you're bleeding all over the place."

"He's going to go after my brother, I can't leave him." Freed shrieked, all semblance of his usual calm gone as he moved towards the cabin desperately.

Laxus followed as he looked behind them and saw that the guy was indeed coming after them. He didn't want the green haired guy to panic any more than he already was.

"Ok, ok." Laxus stopped in place. "Just go get your brother, I'll deal with that guy if he comes this way."

"Why are you doing this?" Freed stopped and finally looked at his savior. He recognized the blond guy from the boardwalk. "You don't know anything about me."

"Don't have to. You remind me of someone I used to know, that's reason enough." Laxus said evenly. "Besides, only cowards do what that man was doing. The name is Laxus by the way."

"I'm Freed."

Laxus nodded affably. "Ok, Freed. Go get your brother and pack your stuff. You might want to hurry, I don't think it's safe for you here anymore, and you're still bleeding a lot."

Laxus watched Freed hurry towards one of the small cabins that were nearby. He turned his attention back the way they came and he saw the guy approaching. He cracked his knuckles in anticipation and waited.

Freed opened the door to the cabin and saw Bickslow still asleep on the bed. He shook him as gently as he could considering he was frantic.

"Whut?" Bickslow opened his eyes slowly.

"Get up, you have to get up." Freed screeched, "Hurry, pack your stuff. We have to go!"

"Go? We just got here?" Bickslow protested, he was still half-asleep and confused by his brother's behavior. He finally looked at his brother who was running around throwing things in bags although his hands were shaking and he was bleeding.

"Oh my God, Freed! What the hell happened to you?" Bickslow quickly got out of the bed and got dressed.

"I'm fine, I was just attacked but we need to get out of here. They know where we live."

"Slow down, you're hurt and you're not making any sense. Let me take a look at you, I think you're going to need stitches."

"There's no time. Just pack!"

"Ok, ok." They both ran around throwing all their belongings in their bags as Bickslow realized he wouldn't be getting anything out of his older brother until they had left the cabin. "At least let me carry the bags, Freed." he pleaded.

"Sure." Freed agreed gratefully, he wasn't sure that he would have been able to carry anything anyway. He felt ready to pass out and now that Bickslow was with him he was fizzling out. He looked around hoping Laxus was still there. He normally didn't trust people easily, but this time he felt like he did not have much of a choice. He was new in town, didn't really know anyone, and now he seemed to somehow have made an enemy of someone he was certain he'd never seen before. He needed help.

"Freed!" Laxus called out. After he had dealt with Freed's attacker, who would not be getting up for quite a while, he had moved closer to the cabins.

"Who are you?" Bickslow growled, still not sure what the hell was going on.

"He's Laxus, he's a friend." were the last words Freed uttered before passing out.

Laxus managed to catch him before he hit the ground. "We need to get him to a doctor." Laxus told Bickslow. "Do you guys have any other place to crash? You can't go back there."

Bickslow shook his head, feeling vulnerable. He looked down at Freed who was being carried by Laxus. "What happened?"

"I don't know." Laxus shrugged. "I heard a noise and I followed it. I found some guys working him over and I decided to lend him a hand. My grandfather has a house about a 20 minute walk from here. He'll know what to do."

Bickslow looked down at the sand, his cheeks coloring. "We can't have the police involved."

Laxus wondered what he had gotten himself into, but looking at the two of them, he knew he'd done the right thing. "That won't be a problem." he said confidently. He only hoped he could get his grandfather to agree to that.


	16. Things I Needed To Say

Disclaimer: All Fairy Tail Characters Belong To Hiro Mashima

Chapter 16: Things I Needed To Say

"You're gonna get it!" Wendy squealed after Natsu dumped a bucket of seawater on her. The same bucket of water he had so gallantly offered to go get for her to help her build a sand castle.

He began to run, laughing at her drenched locks and shivering body in the hot sun. He ran fast enough to challenge her, but slow enough to let her catch up to him and retaliate with a bucket of her own. Unfortunately for her, most of the contents of the bucket had fallen out as she ran after him and Natsu laughed at her, looking smug. He continued to run along the shore, his feet landing in the water as the waves rolled into the beach.

Wendy promptly decided to tackle him instead. She ran at him and Natsu had been too busy laughing to stop her so they both ended up in the water. She quickly filled the bucket and dumped it over his head. He looked at her admiringly.

"You're getting stronger," he complimented. "You would never have been able to pull that off the last time we were here."

Wendy rolled her eyes. "That's because the last time we were here I was six."

"No you weren't, you were five." Natsu smiled. "I distinctly remember. We had your birthday party here that year."

"You weren't here the last time we were here, Natsu," Wendy pointed out, "You were away at camp."

"What on Earth are you talking about, Wendy?" Natsu asked looking confused. "Gray and I always wanted to go to camp but they never let us."

Wendy watched her brother carefully. She knew for a fact that he had gone to camp. She still remembered how jealous she had been and how lonely the week had been without him. She couldn't understand why he would be denying it. It wasn't like him to lie and the look on his face made her nervous. He looked scared. She decided that she wouldn't push it. She could ask Zeref about it later.

"Oh, I must be mistaken," Wendy said while looking at the water. "Want to swim for awhile?"

"Sure," Natsu replied half heartedly. He wasn't sure why Wendy's words bothered him but he felt that weird sensation threatening to overwhelm him again. What was wrong with him? Why did he feel so strange? He didn't have the answer to either of these questions and it scared him a little. He couldn't remember ever feeling this way before yesterday. And what was up with all the strange dreams? Why did they feel so vivid? It was almost like he was reliving something. He'd never kissed Gray. He was certain he would remember something like that. The only person he'd ever kissed was Lucy.

"Natsu?" Wendy called out. She'd been trying to get his attention for a few minutes but her brother seemed to be off in his own little world. He finally looked over at her, his movements sluggish."I changed my mind. Do you think you can teach me how to boogie board?" Wendy asked in an attempt to bring her brother back from wherever he had just been.

Natsu blinked and smiled at her. "Sure, I'd love to! Let me go get some boards from the garage." He got out of the water and turned. "Can you get out 'til I come back? Zeref will have my hide if he sees I left you alone in the water."

Wendy rolled her eyes but did as requested, making a show of sitting on the sand. Natsu smiled at her and hurried towards the garage, returning quickly with three boards, some fins, and several other small items. He grabbed the wax and showed Wendy how to prepare her board as he did the same to his. They put on the fins and attached the board's leashes to their biceps.

Natsu wasn't sure how much time he had spent showing Wendy how to boogie board but the smile on her face made him feel a distant happiness. He looked back at the shore and saw Zeref sitting under the shade of an umbrella. He was on a blanket, his camera out snapping pictures of the two of them. Natsu noticed Zeref wasn't even looking at the board he had brought out for him and realized too late that it was something Zeref probably couldn't do anymore. Natsu decided to get out and sit with him.

"Wendy!" he yelled to get her attention. Once she had caught her first wave, she hadn't stopped. She finally looked his way and he signalled that he was getting out but she could stay. She nodded and continued looking for a wave to catch, while Natsu rode a small one all the way to the beach. He got up and removed the leash and fins, planting his board next to Zeref's.

He shook the excess water out of his hair and sat down next to his brother.

"She's doing pretty well, nice job." Zeref complimented. "Well, better than you did your first time."

"Maybe that's because I didn't try to drown her in the process," Natsu retorted.

"What? I wanted to make sure you didn't panic if a wave pushed you under," Zeref said, hiding a small smile at the memory.

"Do you miss it?" Natsu asked quietly, looking at the board he had brought out. Some of his best memories of summer revolved around boogie boarding with Zeref and their cousins.

"Nah, that's ok. I did it plenty." Zeref smiled at Natsu while ruffling his wet hair. "I try not to think about the things I can't do, I just focus on the ones I can." After a brief silence, Zeref spoke. "Want to help me try something?"

"Sure, what?" Natsu asked and watched curiously as Zeref put the camera on a tripod and played around with a few options. He looked through the viewfinder until he was satisfied and walked back, putting his arm around Natsu.

"Smile," Zeref instructed and Natsu did so as he put his arm across his brother's shoulders, enjoying his warmth. As much as he hated to admit it he'd always looked up to Zeref - when he was younger Natsu had followed Zeref around. He'd tried to insinuate himself into everything Zeref did and most of the time his brother had let him. Natsu looked away from the camera and glanced at his brother's face, seeing the dark circles around the eyes and the tired look on his face, none of which kept him from still smiling for the camera.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Natsu asked,the words bursting out of his mouth before he could stop them.

Zeref didn't answer, making his way towards the camera. He removed it from the tripod and examined the pictures it had captured. He smiled and walked back to Natsu and showed him.

"I like this one." Zeref pointed to the one of the two of them smiling. It had come out quite two of them stood with their arms around each other, their grandfather's house a perfect backdrop behind them. Zeref pushed some buttons and another picture popped on the screen. "But this one here is why I didn't tell you."

In the picture, Natsu was looking at Zeref, who was still smiling for the camera. Natsu examined his expression and frowned. He looked forlorn as he looked at his brother's smiling face.

"We were getting ready to tell you." Zeref started. "Dad and I."Zeref stared off to sea, watching Wendy manage a particularly large wave and smiling proudly.

"But then Dad…." Zeref continued almost in a daze, "and you….. well I couldn't just tell you then could I? It was too much for the two of you to handle. So I decided to wait." Zeref sighed, the first outward sign of his discomfort. "I wasn't expecting that I would get worse so quickly. None of us did."

Natsu remained silent, watching Zeref and wondering how he never saw it. He'd been so self involved - he saw that now - and poor Zeref had no choice but to immerse himself in taking care of his siblings.

"I'm so sorry, Zer." Natsu grimaced. "I was such an ass."

"Don't worry about it." Zeref waved him off. "You didn't do anything I didn't do when Mom died. Trust me, I was a handful to Dad and he sure as hell had no idea what to do with any of us."

"I was so jealous of you then," Zeref said and the words hung in the air much like Natsu's jaw.

"You were jealous of me?" Natsu repeated, flabbergasted. "What on Earth for?"

"You had the relationship with Mom that I wanted," Zeref said with bitterness.

"What?" Natsu sputtered. "She was with you all the time. She always picked you to go with her."

"Is that what you thought?" Zeref's laugh grated on Natsu's nerves. It was not a laugh he ever wanted to hear again.

"She didn't pick me to do anything, Natsu. I was getting the same treatments as her." Zeref explained. "Yes, I did see her all the time. In pain, which she tried to hide so as not to scare me. It was horrible." He shuddered as he remembered the long treatments at the hospital. "And no matter how much she tried to be strong and hide it, it didn't matter. I was feeling the exact same thing. I knew."

"But then she'd come home and go straight to you and Wendy. She'd read you stories and cuddle with you, while I was always in the background. Watching but never taking part." Zeref plunged his fingers in the sand and began to play with the grains sifting between his fingers. "Then it was Dad's turn, and he was never one to share her."

"I would listen to her tell you stories about Fairy Tail at night." Zeref looked at Natsu and smiled. "That was the one thing I was the most jealous about. She made a world just for you, a place where you could be anything you wanted and not once did she put me in that world with you. I couldn't help but listen, I loved those stories but they always made me sad because it was never my world. I didn't belong there. They were your special thing that you shared."

"That's not true!" Natsu argued. "You were named because of Zera, she wanted to bring her to life, she told me so. I don't really know why she did that anyway, she started telling me those when I was very young."

Zeref shrugged, not wanting to go down that rabbit hole until he had to.

"Don't get me wrong, I know she loved me." Zeref explained, "I just wished our relationship would have been more than a shared affliction."

"I'm sorry." Natsu bowed his head, not knowing what to say. He knew his mother had always paid him a lot of attention but he'd always thought it was to make up for his father's distance.

"It's ok. It wasn't your fault." Zeref smiled, although it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Are you scared?" Natsu asked. "Never mind, I guess that's a stupid question."

"I'm not really scared for me, if that's what you mean," Zeref replied with an honesty that surprised the both of them. "Everyone dies eventually. I'm scared for the two of you, but I worry about you most of all."

"Me?" Natsu startled. 'But why?"

"Because after Mom and Dad died, you shut down. You wouldn't let anyone near you, and you've just started opening up to others again. I don't want you to go back, Natsu. Promise me."

"I- I can't do that," Natsu replied avoiding the eyes that were attempting to see deeper into him than he was comfortable with. "I promise I'll take care of Wendy but I don't-"

"That's not good enough!" Zeref snapped a little louder than he meant to. "Natsu, look at me."

Natsu looked up at his brother, even though he really didn't want to.

"Why do you do that?" Zeref asked softly. "Why do you push everyone away? Are you afraid they're going to leave you too?"

Natsu sighed. "That's part of it, but it's not really why."

"Then what?" Zeref looked at Natsu and told him earnestly, "Natsu, I really want to understand."

Natsu remained quiet for a while. He looked down at the sand and wished he could bury himself in it. To feel warm and safe and alone hiding amidst billions of granules of sand, a fitting metaphor for how he wished to live his life. He wanted to explain, to give Zeref that much of himself, but he'd held on to it for so long. He closed his eyes tightly and let go. Zeref deserved that much.

"They- they want too much from me. They want things from me that I'm not ready to give."

"What kinds of things? What are you talking about?" Zeref asked with concern.

"I don't know how to explain it," Natsu said curling into himself like he had when he was a child. He looked vulnerable and Zeref felt helpless to protect him. He reached out to touch him but stopped. He realized with a sinking heart that he'd never really been able to help Natsu and that thought hurt him to his core. It would be his biggest regret.

"People exhaust me. They want things from you even when they say they don't. Maybe it's love, or sex, or money, or attention, or approval. Whatever it is, it just takes way too much effort for me to provide it, and I end up feeling exhausted and empty after. I can't do any of it, I just don't feel anything anymore, Zeref." Natsu already looked tired from his outburst.

"Come here," Zeref commanded, and when Natsu stretched himself out from his previous position, Zeref laid him out on his lap and stroked his hair. "Do you remember when Mom used to do this when we were upset?"

"Yeah, I miss her," Natsu said, and as he looked up at his older brother he saw him blinking away tears. "Hey, why are you crying?"

"Nothing, I just miss her too." Zeref lied as he wiped his eyes, "It's impossible to be here and _not_ think of her."

Natsu nodded and accepted the explanation.

"Is that why you broke up with Lucy?" Zeref asked curiously. "She wanted more from you than what you were willing to give?"

"If that's a weird euphemism for sex, no," Natsu replied.

"Why not?"

"I'm not talking to my virgin brother about my sex life."

Zeref chuckled.

"What's so funny?"

"The fact that you think I'm a virgin." Zeref chuckled again.

"You're not?" Natsu said with surprise."I've never seen you with anyone."

"Just because I chose not to have relationships doesn't mean that I didn't date, Natsu," Zeref pointed out. "Why would I want to leave someone behind to mourn me? Just look at Dad, the mess he was after Mom died."

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense. I just don't know any girls who would be okay with that."

Zeref began to laugh again.

"What? Now you're going to tell me you're gay?" Natsu sat up from Zeref's lap to get a better look at his face.

"Hang on," Zeref got up from the blanket and headed towards the water to call Wendy in. Natsu let his gaze settle on the water as he waited. Trying to explain how he felt had left him feeling unsettled - it was not something he had ever put into words before. He wanted to feel calm and water had always had that effect on him.

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed a girl walking with a bounce to her step. He didn't know what it was about her but his heart suddenly felt tight in his chest. He turned his head to get a better look. She continued to walk in the same way, her long blonde hair, that came down to the hem of her white dress, flowed behind her as she walked further away. He was spellbound, watching the girl stop and examine some shells before continuing on her way. Her back was turned to him so no matter how hard he tried he could not see her face.

Cold drops of water startled him from his reverie as Wendy stood next to him, dripping wet, and without a word he handed her a towel. Natsu looked for the girl he had been watching but much to his surprise, she was gone. His eyes darted around the beach. She had disappeared.

"Gramps wanted you to go spend some time with him," Zeref informed his younger sister. Wendy looked ready to protest but thought better of it.. Instead, she gave them both hugs and went inside to look for her grandfather. Zeref sat back under the umbrella.

Natsu shook his head slowly, trying to erase the image of the girl from his mind. He shifted his attention to Zeref and waited patiently for his answer, but after the silence had gone on for a while he decided to push. "Well?" Natsu asked.

"I'm not gay, I'm bi," Zeref said evenly while he gauged Natsu's reaction to his words. "You're right though, I didn't meet many girls who were okay with that arrangement. Guys were a different matter." Zeref grinned and winked at Natsu.

"You are so not who I thought you were," Natsu said, and as he gave the matter some thought he came to an unpleasant conclusion. "Ew, you didn't use one of those phone apps, did you?"

"Of course not," Zeref assured him, "That's dangerous, you never know who you're going to meet. Besides, I didn't want random hookups -I just didn't want to complicate things."

"You know that makes no sense, right?"

"So I've been told. So now that you have my credentials, is that what you couldn't give her? Sex?"

"You really think little Lucy Heartfilia wanted to have sex with me?"

"Yes, I'm sure she did," Zeref replied with a knowing smile. "She's not that little anymore, Natsu, and at your age it's only natural."

Natsu looked at his brother, still amazed at all the things he had learned about him in the last few minutes. It was like he'd never known him at all, but he had been very honest and Natsu felt he should do the same. "Fine, I'll tell you. She wanted me to love her the same way she loved me and I couldn't."

Zeref stared at Natsu, trying to understand what he had just heard. "Did you love her?"

"I already told you, I don't feel much of anything. I'm not even sure how we started dating. When her mom died she started coming over a lot; she knew that she could be miserable around us because we understood and we wouldn't try to make her smile or act like everything was fine."

"Then Gray started to date Cana and we'd all go places together. I guess she thought we were dating too and it didn't bother me enough to correct her. I thought she was like me, just going through the motions, but she wasn't. She got into the whole relationship thing. She was happy, Dad was happy, Wendy was happy - hell, everyone was happy but me."

"When Dad died, it was just too much. We moved to the new house, we started those stupid family dinners, you were in charge, everything was changing but at the same time too much remained the same. Everyone was all over me again, asking how I was, wanting to help, being generally loud and nosy. Lucy was the worst of all, and it made me feel dead inside 'cause all she was doing was trying to love me and I...I couldn't keep up the act anymore. I was going to hurt her regardless, it just seemed cruel to keep pretending something I didn't feel. All I wanted was to be left alone, so I broke it off.

"This time I was determined to isolate myself from everyone, but fucking Gray wouldn't let me. He kept following me around and getting in my face when I pushed him away, and fighting me when I didn't respond. He made me realize that as much as I wanted to, I couldn't let him go. I needed him. Gray and Wendy are all I have left from when we were all happy and apparently I can't let go of that, because I want it back. Even though I know it's impossible, even though it kills me every time I let myself think about it, I want it all back."

Zeref remained silent, not really knowing what to say. He did the only thing he could - he put his arms around his younger brother and held him for as long as Natsu would allow. It didn't last for as long as he would have liked but that was Natsu, you couldn't force him to do anything. He was stubborn and did things his own way and he had not allowed himself to receive much in the way of comfort since their mother had died. This was the part where Zeref really missed his parents. One of them would have known what to say to Natsu to make him feel better, but he was at a loss. Strike that - Mom would have known what to say. Dad never knew what to do with Natsu, mostly leaving him to Zeref, or to his own devices. How he wished that Natsu would have let him get him some help. All this talk of being numb worried him. After everything that had happened and everything Natsu had been through, it was impossible for him to not feel anything Those feelings had to be buried somewhere. What would happen when they finally made themselves known, would it be too much?

That reminded him of the task they had set Natsu for the summer and he decided to change the subject to something more mundane. "How's the writing going?"

"Uhm, it's going fine," Natsu answered, looking away towards the shore once more, absolutely not looking for the girl from earlier. He didn't want to talk about his writing, not now that he knew Fairy Tail was a sore topic for Zeref.

"You don't have to act so uncomfortable. I know what you're writing about, it's okay." Zeref tried to make his voice reflect his feelings on the subject. He thought that writing was a good way for Natsu to work through his feelings and so far it seemed like he'd been doing just that. "It was special to you and I'm glad you've kept up with it. I think Mom would have approved. Did Wendy like the one you wrote for her?"

"Yeah." Natsu mumbled. "I hadn't really planned on writing any more of them."

"I think you should, they obviously mean something to you," Zeref encouraged him. "Have you gotten any feedback?"

"There was this one person for the first one." Natsu replied. "I really haven't checked the other one."

"Did you reply to them?"

"I did." Natsu said.

Zeref looked at Natsu thoughtfully. "You know, if they comment on the next one you should try to get a conversation going."

"Why would I want to do that?" Natsu grumbled.

"Well, you said that people exhaust you, right?" Zeref said slowly as he continued thinking through what he was about to suggest. "What about online people?"

Natsu shrugged - he didn't do much in the way of internet chatting. It was too much noise. The few times he had done stuff online it was usually with his friends.

"Maybe you need to make a friend that doesn't know anything about you." Zeref spoke faster as he became more convinced that this was a good idea. "After Mom and Dad died, my therapist suggested that I go to a support group for ARVD. It was a disaster, I think I traumatized every single person there. I mean, this disease is supposed to be managed easily by medicine and here _I_ am going on about how I'm dying from it and nothing can be done about it. That was not one of Dr. Invel's better suggestions."

"Anyway, I went looking for support groups online, trying to find someone who was more like me. It took awhile but I did find someone and we became good friends. They were easy to talk to and it helped me sometimes. He was someone I could talk to when there was no one else who would understand, and all they knew about me was what I was willing to tell them."

"You said _was…_." Natsu trailed off.

"Yeah, he opted to do the heart transplant." Zeref's eyes darkened and he looked away. "He uh, he didn't make it. His wife had just had a baby and he wanted to be there to see her grow up, but he died during surgery " He sighed. It still hurt. "He's the reason I decided against the transplant. Whatever time I have left, I want to spend it with you guys, not in hospitals."

"I'm sorry, Zer." Natsu was glad he had not yet broached the topic of the transplant - he had meant to. There was so much about Zeref that he and Wendy had no idea about.

"Thanks. The point I'm trying to make is this - being able to talk to somebody who didn't know much about me was helpful. I could control when we talked as well as what we talked about. It could be helpful to you too. You literally have nothing to lose. It might be good for you to have someone to talk to outside of Gray, especially if you're going to be living with him. Will you at least think about it?"

Natsu looked doubtful but he nodded. He'd think about it. It might be nice to not be so lonely all the time. The idea of having someone to talk to that didn't want anything but conversation from him was appealing.

"So how come you were up so early?" Zeref changed the topic, they'd had enough sad talk for today.

"It's stupid," Natsu said. "I had a bad dream and I couldn't get back to sleep. Gramps found me on the beach and dragged me with him."

"I'm sure it must have been driving him crazy to not have taken you out yet - I was ten when he taught me." Zeref's eyes twinkled as he remembered the time he and Laxus had been taught to fish on their grandfather's boat. They'd ended up fighting and Laxus had gone overboard. Gramps had been furious with them.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Do you think that dreams mean anything?" Natsu asked and his tone caught Zeref's attention.

"What do you mean? Like walking into a classroom naked and realizing you didn't study for a test?" Zeref laughed. "I hate those."

"No, nothing like that. I've just been having these dreams and they feel so real, and I'm starting to wonder if they're trying to tell me something." Natsu shook his head. "That's stupid though, right? Dreams are just random images, they don't mean anything."

"I don't know about that. Maybe if you tell me about it we can figure it out," Zeref offered. "It's not like we have anywhere else to be."

"Well, I've been having these dreams about Gray-"

"GRAMPS!" Laxus voice could be heard clearly even from a distance. The sheer panic that edged it was enough to make Zeref scramble to his feet.

"What the hell?" Zeref muttered as he tried to make sense of what he was seeing. Laxus seemed to be carrying someone in his arms. There was a boy next to him that looked to be around Natsu's age carrying two large bags. He could see that both figures were trying to move faster but were weighed down by their respective burdens. More importantly, the person in Laxus' arms did not appear to be moving.

"GRAMPS!" Laxus yelled again and Zeref finally reacted. He ran towards the house to find his grandfather. It was obvious that they needed help.

Natsu had stopped talking as soon as he heard his cousin's yells. He watched, undecided as to what to do. He didn't like the expression on the boy's face. The boy looked worried and that meant that something was wrong. Natsu shifted his attention towards Laxus, who was finally close enough to make out clearly. He looked worried as well. Who were these people? Where had Laxus found them? He decided to go to them and at least help the boy with the bags - he looked like he was getting ready to keel over at any second. Natsu ran towards them and as he got closer he heard them talking. He froze in mid-step at the utterance of a single word.

"Freed doesn't look so good," Bickslow said as he tried to keep up with the larger man who was carrying his brother to what he hoped was safety.

"He'll be fine, we're almost there," Laxus panted. His arms were beginning to burn from the exertion but the house was already visible. He could stand it for a bit longer; he had seen Zeref run towards the house so he hoped that someone would come out soon.

He saw Natsu standing at a distance staring at them. There was something in his stance that told Laxus that something was wrong but he couldn't imagine what it could be. He couldn't worry about it now.

Natsu continued to stare. Freed? He didn't know anyone by that name. Why did he freeze at the mere mention of it? He looked closely at who Laxus was carrying and immediately noticed two things - green hair and blood. Just like in his dream. Natsu wanted to run but he couldn't, he could only stand there and stare. It felt so frighteningly familiar, the standing and staring. He began to tremble when he felt a hand grab his and squeeze it. He heard a voice he had not heard for a very long time say calmly, "Natsu, look at me. Everything's going to be alright." As the tears began to flow he couldn't turn his head to look,he knew in his heart that if he did, nothing would ever be alright again.

o-o

A/N I normally don't like to give apologies or explanations as to why it took me so long to update a story but it has been a long time and I feel that you are owed something. This chapter is a very important one, and I wanted to get it right. I'd like to thank splendidlyimperfect for all their help in editing. If you have somehow not yet discovered their work, do yourself a favor and look them up.

I have also been busy putting together a writers group out of tumblr, Fairy Tail LGBTales ( ftlgbtales). Several writers you might recognize have agreed to be a part of it and I am so honored by their support. We are going to be hosting a month long event in October to celebrate the return of the anime, which premieres on October 2nd. This is a shameless recruitment plug for any of you Fairy Tail writers who write stories in the LGBT space to come join us. We are attempting to build a safe community for Fairy Tail writers and readers, where we can enjoy being part of the fandom again. You don't need to have a tumblr account to be a part of this group, we communicate through a discord server. Feel free to PM me, reach out in the comments, reach out to me on tumblr, smoke signal or whatever you do to communicate. The username is always the same: mdelpin. :)

We are currently running a poll to have fans pick what pairings will be featured in our Week 2: MLM/Slash, you can vote for your three favorites and the top 5 will be included. You can vote here: /forms/ssNOc0wlqhecQkqt1.

On top of that I participated in Gratsu Week for the first time. It was a really fun experience, even though it was a stressful blur. A whole week of writing from prompts, something I'm not used to, it was intense and I never would have gotten through it without the help and support of our writers group. We sprinted (word wars) together to keep focused, we brainstormed, had insult wars, came up with truth or dares for the characters and read each other's work. It was amazing and fun and will be a memory I will forever cherish.

In other news, months ago I entered this story in a wattpad contest (The Fairy Tail Awards) and it somehow won first place in it's category (New to the Guild - Modern), so that's exciting.

Thank you for being patient with me, I hope this chapter was worth the wait.

-mdelpin


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